WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 4.

The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.                                                                                   -Cheryl Hughes

Thaw

• What Christmas service are you/your family planning to go to?
• What traditions does your family have this time of year?

• What most stayed with you from Sunday morning?

Read

• Proverbs 12:19
• Thoughts?

Read

• Genesis 3:1-13
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• How do you see deception playing out once fear is part of the Genesis narrative, and how do we make parallels to our own lives from the text?
• What significance does this story hold for you when you realize that the "Fall of Humanity" is rooted not in immorality but in fear, covering up and hiding?

Quote

• Respond as a group to this:

"Lying is creation from scarcity, rather than enough- danger rather than peace."

Discuss

• What's a lie you perpetuated earlier in life and in what ways was it tied to either a fear of scarcity or of threat?

Leader note: You may want to drill down on this idea by studying Peter, who denied knowing Christ to save his own skin in John 18, and was confronted by Paul for his hypocrisy in Galatians 2. In both cases, Peter was dishonest because there was something at stake. He felt something threatened. His fears for his life and/or his reputation dictated his integrity. 

• What have you learned about your capacity for dishonesty?
• How have you become less fearful and more at peace?

Apply

• To get from a dishonest place to a place of integrity and honesty, we must be willing to pass through a very uncomfortable place of suffering the truth. In what ways can this group help the individuals and couples of this LifeGroup to travel through a time of confessing both lies, and the fears that occasion them, to get to the other side where integration and trust and reality can thrive?
• How might shedding fears until dishonesty is no longer necessary, rather than trying to "be more honest" be the exclusive work and opportunity of Christ-followers?

When a man is penalized for honesty he learns to lie.

                               -Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 2.

Hopefully enough life has happened in the last week for your LifeGroup members to ask What Happens Next? And how they've answered it has a lot to do with how fear and anxiety play not their existence.

As we become less fearful, and more at peace, our stories and our relationships become better and better. Drill down a bit more this week with your group members and see if you can't find more ways to grow into the men and women God has called us to be.



Thaw

• If you found yourself at a fork in the road on an important journey, would you choose the path with numerous venomous snakes or the one with a bear and her cubs? Why? 

Leader note: See how many people get stuck with the idea that they are walking. If they are driving, either should be fine. If early on the conclude they could be in a car, take the car away and see what they decide and why.

• What stuck with you most from Sunday morning?

Read

• John 18:1-11, 15-17, 25-27
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Why do you think Peter thought violence toward these soldiers was justified.
• If you had to put it in a few words, what made Peter lie about knowing Christ, and what part of him was in control?
• How does this relate to how you make decisions and behave when under stressful situations?

Leader note: see if you can get to the different parts of the mind at work here in your discussion of the John 18. Peter is obviously upset and is using very simplistic, base, reactionary thinking. He is emotionally overtaken and therefore fights in the face of threat and then runs in the face of danger. Higher thinking would have likely led Peter to peacefully follow Christ's lead, telling the truth in the face of danger, not answering violence with violence, recognizing his internal upset but not allowing it to hijack the higher ways which Christ has taught. This is not to say that defending the self when in real danger is a sin. It is to uncover that the disciplined mind is on display here against the poise of the Christ, and is instructive for our day-to-day lives as we face insult and upset, and the choice to be people of wholeness and peace rather than reactionary liars.

Read

• Jeremiah 17:5-11
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• How would you describe the progression of thought in this passage?
• What does it mean to you that God searches the heart and tests the "kidneys" or the seat of consciousness and decision making?

Leader note: Bear in mind that God is speaking in Jeremiah 17. The passage is about trust in God affecting the individual and then how a lack of trust leads to unjust social behavior. Try to avoid simplistic understandings of "trust the Lord" as you talk about it, and dig more deeply into what it might mean. Often, this phrase means "be a Christian," when clearly one can be a Christian and still be bound up inside with all sorts of anxieties that lead to all sorts of trouble. Find ways of understanding trust in the Lord as meaning what the tree planted by the river signifies, not the absence of difficulty, but strength and self control in the face of it.

Read

• James 1:19-22

• Thoughts?

Apply

• Think of a recent time you have been insulted, mistreated, ignored and treated badly. A time when you didn't handle it as well as you would like. How would James' words have helped?

Quick to listen.

Slow to speak.

Slow to get angry 

(because human righteousness does not bring about God's righteousness)

• How can these principles help train the mind and the decision making that we do?
• How can pausing, considering, resisting the urge to let the undeveloped toddler mind take over help any tensions and stress you are currently facing?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? [BONUS MATERIAL]

Here's a few great thoughts I stole from someone on the internet who is smarter than me.
You should find them helpful personally as well as in the context of leading a group who's learning to put better stories in the gaps.

How about working on your self-talk, that internal dialogue that’s going on in your mind? You can start by talking back to that internal storyteller with a few simple facts:

• I don’t have any information here, or at least not enough.
• As much as I don’t like it, I can’t know what I don’t know.
• And chances are, I don’t even know enough to come close to the truth.
• While things could turn out bad, they could also turn out good. Or somewhere in between.
• I don’t like uncertainty. But making up stories is just going to make me feel worse.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 1.

For the next few weeks we're going to put the focus back on out fears and anxieties, and the way that they shape our style of relating to others and the world.

Not that we can totally abolish these fears. We take them for the most part to the grave.
But we can  learn to see them, understand them, and therefore take away their ability to subtly control so many aspects of lives.

As a group this topic is interesting but hard to tackle for all but the vulnerable. As leaders, we must create a space where people feel safe to share what their fears and anxieties are as they currently understand them, as well as safe enough to explore anxieties they don't yet even see. Until we are a people who can tame our fears and get them in their proper proportion, we'll not know the love and peace into which Christ invites us.



Thaw

• What Thanksgiving plans do you have?
• Rake or leaf blower: defend your answer.
• What most stayed with you from Sunday morning?

Read

• Matthew 6:25-7:3
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Why does Jesus connect worry/anxiety to judgment?
• How do these two things affect our relationships?
• What is the difference between being "realistic" or "prepared" and being cynical, fearful and a teller of bad stories?

Read

• Philippians 4:4-7
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Why do you think Paul puts gentleness and rejoicing and gratitude and the reduction on anxiety together?
• What does the Lord being near have to do with anything?
• When we are feeling fearful and filling in gaps to get a sense of control, what would praying to God do for us?

Apply

• How do you feel about people who create bad stories about you to fill in the gaps? Why do they do it?
• Do you see your demand for certainty and your fear of not having things/people figured out quickly a strength or a weakness

Leader note: you may find your people can't answer this well because, though they wish they weren't so anxious or even judgmental, it has served them well. Like soldiers who wish they didn't have to carry ammunition, shooting up the jungle as they went, they are after all still alive because they do it. This is why Paul finishes his thought in the Philippians passage with peace. It's not just about surviving or getting by. It's about having a transcendent peace that ends the war we all feel like we're trying to survive in. In fact, most of us come to see there was never any war to start with. Just vigilance taught to us by the fearful generation before us.

• How can giving thanks for what already is help you to stop worry about "What happens next"?
• How can this group help you to restore gentleness and openness to the ambiguity of life and relationships and faith?
• How can we begin telling better stories in the gaps we have about the world, each other and ourselves?

Leader note: remember, just as fear is a creative force, so is hope. We will talk more about that side of it in coming weeks. For now, encourage your group to begin entertaining that it's more powerful to put hope in the gap, but it's far riskier to our nervous minds.

THE WHY PROJECT, week II

Next weekend is Commitment Weekend. 

There will be no regular services November 9th. 

Instead, Crosspointe's campus will be open Saturday the 8th and Sunday the 9th for you/your family to come turn in your filled-out commitment card and participate in various elements such as a prayer walk, communion, and more. 

If you fill out your commitment card online at THEWHYPROJECT.NET, you're still very much encouraged to come and participate for as little or as long as you'd like. Each household making a commitment will receive a brick from the wall on stage to take home as an emblem of their commitment to The Why Project, and at a later date we'll all bring these bricks back to be incorporated into the site. 

Like last week, be sure to use your group time to allow members to know one another, and be known by each other in a way that matters to your specific group. But also take time to pray and think some about this momentous season we're in. We will return to "regular programming" after the Commitment Weekend.

You can discuss Micah 6:6-8, the main text from this weekend, uncovering how "what God requires" plays out in your individual lives, and within your group. You can break it down as: 

Do what’s right                 Devote yourself to kindness. Walk behind God.

...and how it was obviously in view when Jesus summarized the will of God as he did in Matthew 22:36-40.

Then, your group can:

• Pray for the members of Crosspointe to be leaning in, to be stepping up to the opportunity God has given this community.
• Pray for the surrounding community, for the many people we've yet to meet who will benefit forever from the faith and dedication of the people of Crosspointe.
• Pray for the YMCA, and the specific people and leaders who will represent Crosspointe's ministry partners to the local community and to the world for a long time to come.
• Pray for the leaders at Crosspointe and the YMCA and the Town of Cary who have worked for years to create a collaboration that will impact lives in ways we can only now imagine.
• Pray about your group's and its members' role in THE WHY PROJECT.

And Get up to speed.

• You can go to thewhyproject.net and see Jonathan Bow, Lead Pastor and TJ Terry, Lead Strategist present the entire project as they've done for hundreds of members of Crosspointe.
• You can see Tracy Howe, COO for the YMCA discuss what effect this collaboration will have on the community.
• You can see Jonathan Bow's 4+ minute presentation to the Town of Cary about the vision we're all part of.

THE WHY PROJECT, week I

For the next couple weeks "church," the Body of Christ in the world, will take center stage on Sundays. Crosspointe will dream, plan, pray and commit to the role our church gets to play as THE WHY PROJECT unfolds. These are exciting times!

As a LifeGroup leader, create space for the members to discuss the goings-on in their lives and create an atmosphere that fosters better and better connections between all of you. There are always stories happening, always growth and awakening taking place. Don't miss that. As it pertains to the YMCA and your group time this week, there are several options for your LifeGroup time:


Pray.

• Pray for the members of Crosspointe to be leaning in, to be stepping up to the opportunity God has given this community.
• Pray for the surrounding community, for the many people we've yet to meet who will benefit forever from the faith and dedication of the people of Crosspointe.
• Pray for the YMCA, and the specific people and leaders who will represent Crosspointe's ministry partners to the local community and to the world for a long time to come.
• Pray for the leaders at Crosspointe and the YMCA and the Town of Cary who have worked for years to create a collaboration that will impact lives in ways we can only now imagine.
• Pray about your group's and its members' role in THE WHY PROJECT.

Get up to speed.

• You can go to thewhyproject.net and see Jonathan Bow, Lead Pastor and TJ Terry, Lead Strategist present the entire project as they've done for hundreds of members of Crosspointe.
• You can see Tracy Howe, COO for the YMCA discuss what effect this collaboration will have on the community.
• You can see Jonathan Bow's 4+ minute presentation to the Town of Cary about the vision we're all part of.

The Why before The Y (Happy Birthday Crosspointe)

Happy Birthday Crosspointe. 
It all began 17 years ago this weekend. And here we are, beginning some more.

We are getting ready to embark on a bit of history. I'm sure you've heard. For the next few weeks we'll discuss what that looks like. It's not hyperbole to refer to this as a game changer for our Church, for our community and even for how church is done around the world. And we get to be part of it.

Today, before we get into all this in coming weeks, talk as a group about church. Not simply a rah rah over Crosspointe, but a reminder that Christ all those years ago seemed to think it was a good idea to leave communities of people, imbued with his Spirit, at the helm of love and rescue. Talk about that, and what it means today. Because you're part of it. There's really no call like the call for imperfect people to follow this Christ, to be his people for the sake of the world. 


Thaw

• Rake or leaf-blower? Go.
• How long have you been going to Crosspointe, and how did you find the church? 

Leader note: You may have already dealt with this question, especially if you are in a BETA Group. You might want to put "What makes a good church?" in its place.

• What most impacted you from Sunday?

Read

• John 13:34-35
• Thoughts?
• What do you think it means for a church, a gathering of people who are putting more and more of their confidence in the Christ and Christ's way, to be known by something like love?
• What would you say people know followers of Christ for these days, generally?
• How might Crosspointe and the YMCA's partnership address your answer to the previous question, as well as Christ's words in John 13?

Read

The Epistle to Diognetes, c. AD 130

"... Christians are distinguished from other men neither by country, nor language, nor the customs which they observe. For they neither inhabit cities of their own, nor employ a peculiar form of speech, nor lead a life which is marked out by any singularity. The course of conduct which they follow has not been devised by any speculation or deliberation of inquisitive men; nor do they, like some, proclaim themselves the advocates of any merely human doctrines. But, inhabiting Greek as well as barbarian cities, according as the lot of each of them has determined and following the customs of the natives in respect to clothing, food, and the rest of their ordinary conduct, they display to us their wonderful and confessedly striking method of life.

They dwell in their own countries, but simply as sojourners. As citizens, they share in all things with others and yet endure all things as if foreigners. Every foreign land is to them as their native country, and every land of their birth as a land of strangers. They marry, as do all others; they beget children; but they do not destroy their offspring. They have a common table, but not a common bed. They are in the flesh, but they do not live after the flesh. They pass their days on earth, but they are citizens of heaven. They obey the prescribed laws, and at the same time surpass the laws by their lives. They love all men and are persecuted by all. They are unknown and condemned; they are put to death and restored to life. They are poor yet make many rich; they are in lack of all things and yet abound in all; they are dishonored and yet in their very dishonor are glorified. They are evil spoken of and yet are justified; they are reviled and bless; they are insulted and repay the insult with honor; they do good yet are punished as evildoers. When punished, they rejoice as if quickened into life; they are assailed by the Jews as foreigners and are persecuted by the Greeks; yet those who hate them are unable to assign any reason for their hatred. To sum it all up in one word -- what the soul is to the body, that are Christians in the world."

• Thoughts?

Read

From the Apology of Tertullian, AD 197 (a letter explaining Christianity to Roman citizens)

"It is mainly the deeds of a love so noble that lead many to put a brand upon us. "See," they say, "how they love one another," for they themselves are animated by mutual hatred. "See," they say about us, "how they are ready even to die for one another," for they themselves would sooner kill.

• Thoughts?

Read

• Romans 12:1-5
• Ephesians 5:1
• 1 Corinthians 12:27
• Thoughts?
• Consider Christ's values and agenda in the world. What does it mean to be the body of this Christ, mimickers of this Christ, connected to the other body parts and mimickers of this Christ?

Discuss

• Do you consider yourself part of the body of Christ, or something else? Explain?
• If you do not consider yourself part of the body of Christ, how might this group help you feel like you were?

Leader note: The reasoning they share here might have to do with a resistance to being conformed to the ideology of his or her parents or others they don't respect. It might have to do with past wounds caused at church. It might have to do with a sense of shame and therefore a self-inflicted distance (banishment). As much as is appropriate, try and help each member understand that we are not part of this by our perfection, but by our faith that there's something stronger than our errors. Forgiveness of course isn't mere tolerance, but inclusion in Christ's work. No matter who we are, we are forgiven AND THEN hired for work, incorporated into Christ's loving service to the world.


Prayer

• In coming weeks, Crosspointe will officially link arms by way of finances, prayer and more in The Why Project campaign. Pray as a group, and continue doing so, as we move into this next chapter together. Pray for the leadership of the Triangle YMCA. Pray for the leadership of Crosspointe. Pray for all who call Crosspointe home. Pray for all the details meticulously crafted over the last three years, such as the lease, the financial elements, the architectural designs, civil engineering, the timeline. Pray for the thousands upon thousands of children, young adults, men and women from every sort of background, whom we've not met yet but will get to serve in a way we otherwise never could have. And very significantly, pray for your LifeGroup and the dozens of others who meet throughout the triangle- for the commitment it will require of all of us, those who comprise Christ's body in this area.

Of Forests and Trees. Wine.

It's a strange little story.
But it has big implications for the small, day-to-day life of faith we live.

Use this discussion time to see if you can uncover the depths of faith and trust in the mundane, in the ordinary and where we'd been taught was beneath Almighty God.



Thaw

• What most stuck with you from Sunday?
• What is a big thing you are currently praying about?
• What is a small thing(s) you are currently praying about?

Read

• John 2:1-11
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• How important have you found "tone" to be in reading the words of Christ.
• How important have you found tone in how you communicate with others?
• How important is tone when others are speaking with you?
• How can rehearing tone be a way that we give others the benefit of the doubt, and try to assume good intentions?

• What tone do you default to most from this list?
• Skeptical
• Boring
• Harsh
• Pleading
• Authoritative, but not to you
• Disinterested
• Other

Read

• John 2:5
• Based on the scene, what might Mary be referring to besides the obvious upcoming instructions about what to do with the water?

Leader note: help the group recognize that Jesus was sensitive to timing, to making sure he didn't steal the spotlight, to blessing others in a time of need, even though that need wasn't desperate or life/death. "Doing whatever Jesus says" has more to do with his literal instructions, which is important, but to do things how he does them. See if the group can make some discoveries about this, and make attributions to this being what John considered the "revealing of his glory."

• Respond as a group to this sentence, as response to verse 11, while thinking of your own background with Christian faith:

The disciples followed Jesus as much for his humility and his interest in doing right by others, as he was followed for his supernatural ability.

Discuss

• Going back to the big and little prayers you are offering lately, explain your understanding of God's interest in the details of your life?
• Do you believe we can bother God? Where did you get your answer to this?
• Can God be interested in things we're not desperate about? What does your answer tell you about whether we can bring our regular lives before God?
• How risky does it feel for you to ask God to take special interest in the details of your life, since it has the potential to show God as perhaps not at work unless you keep your prayers broad and general?

Apply

• How can this group grow to be even more a place where the members share the details of their day-to-day with one another, and with God- not just itemized requests, but all thoughts and concerns?
• What might this accomplish?

Of Forests and Trees. Pharisees.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

-Carl Jung

Our resistance to identifying ourselves in the other is a major hurdle to both out ability to see ourselves, as well as out ability to really love people as they are. 

Use this group time to discover, at least in some small measure, the ways we distance ourselves from others in the name of all sorts of justifications; holiness, morality, right and wrong, truth, purity, etc. While there may be truth in some of it, a lack of thinking about it can have us participating on one side or the other of condemnation. Yet, "In the way of Christ there isn't anymore of that!" (Romans 8:1, Steve Daugherty Translation [SDT] )

Thaw

• What most stuck with you from Sunday morning?
• On what basis do children shame, condemn and distance from other children?
• How is this different from how adults do it?

Read

• John 8:1-11
• Thoughts?

Read 

• Matthew 7:1-5
• Thoughts?

Read

• Galatians 6:1-3
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Why is consideration of self, even as the sins of others seem clear, so critically important to the way of Christ?
• Have you ever found yourself doing something you swore you would never do? How do you think you got the place where you behaved in a way that a previous version of yourself would have judged, shunned or condemned? 
• Were you brought up to seriously consider context and background when making a judgment on someone else's life, or were you taught primarily to judge others' behavior?

Read

• John 8:57-59
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• What are the implications to you of God in Christ, the incarnation of the Great I AM, leaving the woman at the beginning of the chapter gently confronted but not condemned. 
• What are the implications to you of Jesus having only harsh words for the religious leaders, but not the sinners?

Leader note: Play with the idea, if you have time, about a possible difference between "righteous sinners" and "unrighteous sinners." The former being those who follow the letter of the law, but don't understand what God really wants. The latter being of the exact same value and merit, who are also sinners, who have failed the letter of the law, but often at least have the humility to admit it.

Apply

• If we won't assess ourselves soberly, or work to see our own lives in light of those we condemn, we cannot have compassion. Much less, can we do the work of Christ in being loving, kind and inclusive to all. How can this group be a way that we become people who do the work of seeing ourselves on the other?
• There's a flip side. We may have the temptation to demand people who are condemning or judging us stop and consider themselves. Even angrily. Especially when their condemnation of us is misguided, or hypocritical. But we can still live the way of Christ when being on the receiving end of condemnation. What are some examples of working to see ourselves in our accusers?
• What stones might we need to drop this week so that we might identify with the other, loving them more, seeing ourself more?

Of Forests and Trees. Elijah.

Sh.


Write the phrase "What Are You Doing Here, ________?" on small pieces of paper or index cards, filling in the name of each of the members of your group in the blank. You will pass these out toward the end of your group time.




Thaw

• What does Fall mean to you?

• What has most stayed with you from Sunday?
• Would you consider yourself a person who willingly enters the silence of God, answering tough questions about your true self, your true motivations, or are you someone who avoids it?

Read

• 1 Kings 19:9-14
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Many of the rabbis wrestled with this passage and felt that, rather than the "still small voice" many of us have grown up talking about here in verse 12, that the text instead is communicating in the ancient hebrew a "sheer silence". The New Revised Standard Version captures this idea, while most other translations, likely in order to remain logical about the sound being something heard (versus silence being not heard) hang on to the quiet-but-not-quite-silent idea. This may be a topic for discussion in your group, but this study, and the Sunday message, are predicated on the idea that the minority of Rabbis had the right idea.

• Moses had served on this mountain long before. The wind and earthquake and fire all harken back to the powerful display of God's presence the Israelites had seen as Moses went to receive the Law and the covenant renewal. Would it be disappointing to come all the way to the mountain of God and be faced with sheer silence, and questions about your real motives?
• Why does Elijah answer the same question the same way twice?

Leader note: It would seem that if God asks the same question again, God wasn't satisfied with our answer the first time. It would go well to truly reconsider even our most sincere reasoning if asked to give an answer for it twice.

Read

• John 4:13-20
• When Jesus starts to deal with her real issues, how does she respond?
• We can use theology or doctrine to distract from the work God is really up to in our life. What else can we use?

Leader note: This woman, who tries to shift the discussion to religion when asked questions about her real life, is very likely a wounded, disappointed soul who has been passed around and beaten down. Don't think of her as a woman who shops men and can't commit over the long haul  She would have had no such power in the first century. She has been divorced, or widowed numerous times. And now the man who is with her won't marry her for some reason. She has no roots. She is really at the mercy of a patriarchal society. Jesus isn't likely accusing her as much as trying to get her to be real about how hard life is, and about her pain.

Discuss

• Why do we avoid the sheer silence even though it's there we can finally get real?
• As a group, watch this scene from the Matrix. In it, the character named Cypher is betraying his friends to the sinister Agent of the Matrix. A sophisticated network of computers and machines have taken over the world, keeping humanity asleep and feeding off their biological energy. But in order that the sleeping humans remain good sources of power, their sleeping minds are placed in the Matrix, an incredibly detailed simulation of real life. Cypher, and his friends, have awakened and are trying to save the world. Cypher comes to believe waking up to what is true isn't worth it.

Read

• Hebrews 4:12-13
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Remember, the "word" of God here is the the "Logos". This isn't simply the Bible. It's the Wisdom of God. Christ, as in John 1, is the Logos. Christ is God's Wisdom and Message. As you think of this passage, give the text its breadth.

• Do you think of God as primarily building you to make you what you are, or cutting through and subtracting things to make to what you are? A combination?
• What does your personality and age and upbringing have to do with your answer?

Apply

Leader note: Pass out the cards you made which ask each member by name, "What are you doing here?"

• How might this phrase help end an argument, or deescalate your sense of upset at something political or relational, etc?
• How might this question, if answered honestly in the moment, help you begin to see how often you are trying to relieve pain under the guise of something else?
• How might your group help you begin to enter into sheer silence, listening for this question of God's, to get to what you are really trying to do, or avoid, or cover over in fear?
• Consider this question a mantra this week. Allow God to ask it in the silent spaces you will pursue. See what you learn about God and yourself and share it with the group next week.

Of Forests and Trees. Third Way

Everyday of our life is full of countless decisions. A half dozen or so in the last few moments just to get you to the point of reading this.

How do we make decisions? How do choose whether to do

this 

or 

that?

In your group discussions, see if you can find Christ as less the figure who gets us to not do one thing in favor of another, but more so one who teaches us how to think and decide what's best, what's wise and what's loving. Regardless of the options presented.

Thaw

• What process of decisions led you to NC?
• How did you choose your current home?
• What do these decisions tell the group about you if anything?

Read

• Matthew 5:38-41
• Thoughts and impressions?
• There are of course many layers of interpretation to this famous text. How does it speak to there being more than two options?

Leader note: Consider that when struck in the face the two clearest reactions to decide from would be hit back, or get away. And these are solid options. Fight or flight have gotten our species pretty far, thank God. But Jesus is teaching a middle path, a Third Way, which is predicated on understanding the context and a desire not to succumb to the evil happening to us. In this, the one hit forces the dominant hand of the assailant, the hand reserved for more esteemed things, which levels the playing field if he/she throws another punch. Jesus, in one interpretation, says here, "Don't just hit back or run away. Calmly make them treat you like an equal. Assert your and his equal humanity."

• What does this passage teach us about decision making even when things are dire?

Discuss

• About what age did your children, or you as a child, find a "do this/don't do this" world largely unrealistic?`What changed in your opinion?
• Why do we continue to look for either/or decision making even when it struggles to fit real life circumstances?

Apply

• What are some decisions you are facing and feel stuck in an either/or?
• How can the group help you think about some other ways forward?
• How do we know if we are entertaining a legitimate Third Way?

Leader note: You may find that the group needs to dig in here. Any third option is a third option, but Christ isn't trying to make our decision tree bigger when we face a crossroads. This is about recognizing that the Third Way will look like him. Try and help the group see that the Third Way will be recognized as being comprised of, among other things, 

others-centeredness, 

self-sacrifice, 

human dignity, 

generosity,

forgiveness,

peace in the face of aggression or narrowmindedness,

wisdom that will matter for generations, 

actions which don't harm others, 

vulnerability for the sake of others, 

etc. 

There may very well, in the Third Way, be less money, more difficulty, etc. But "less fun" isn't a necessary marker. Even when the Third Way scares us, the ride is a fun one in its own right. Perhaps your group could comprise a list of markers to look for when making a decision and use it as something of a litmus test when life shows up!

Of Forests and Tres. Lamentations

Plopped right in the middle of the writings of prophets is a book titled "Lamentations."
It's a book of complaints. 
Of confession, accusation and yet, somehow, hope.

LAMENTATION. 

From Latin lamentationem,

"wailing, moaning, weeping,”

The book in the original Hebrew language is called Eichah, the first word of the book. It means “how?” The book flows from a word, and finds its identity in, the questioning of pain, grievance, sin experienced and caused. Right in the middle of prophecies about all Israel was to be, and what God is doing in their midst, is a collection of grieving, moaning and asking How? How can this be?

As a group, consider together that which needs grieved, confessed, felt and thought of clearly and empathized with. But only in coming out the other side with a stronger appreciation for the hope we share.


Thaw

• What most stayed with you from Sunday?
• What grievances, frustrations, disappointments and pains do you carry with you habitually?

Leader note: You may wish to point out that these are things which happen to us, or that we caused in others. We often carry a little of both.

Read (various readers, or take turns in circle)

• Lamentations 1:1-5
• 1:11
• 1:13
• 1:16
• 1:18
• 1:19
• 2:11
• 2:15-16
• 3:1
• 3:4-5
• 3:10-20
• 3:21
• 3:22-26
• 5:1

Discuss

• Thoughts?
• What is the significance of both God and humanity committed to remembering in the end?
• Read verses 3:22-24 again. What value might it have in a book about grieving and disappointment that the literal central passage of the book reads this way?
• Why might it be important to confess while complaining?
• Why might it be important to be hopeful while despairing?

Apply

• How can you make a remembrance of the goodness of life, and of the Source of life, the center point of your disappointment? What works against this?
• Is there something in your life you have never grieved? Why do you think this is?
• Have you ever done the work of allowing God to show you what's real beneath how you've gotten used to explaining your pain?

Leader note: This is a bit tricky to work through for many people. The idea here is that many of us are so used to using only the rhetoric of pain, or the most illustrative ways of explaining our suffering, that we haven't thought about how we are actually doing or what really happened. "She stabbed me in the back." "He was a terrible father." "I never amounted to much." "I treated him like $%^&*" The examples are endless. In each, there's something of substance, veiled by words that are, at one point, not as real as they've come to seem. Help the group value a precision of words in their grieving, and even in their confessing, that helps get at what really happened so that real grieving,  real apologies and reconciliation and hope, can occur. But it may be wise to table this work until later if you don't feel your group has been together long enough to trust each other to do it in a group setting. Allow it to happen organically if you can, and as a leader, only as you have done the work yourself.

• How might our remaining hopeful in our own pain be a way of being a loving person?
• What does lament have to do with serving others?

Of Forests and Trees. Babel

As a church, we want to move with the Spirit of God. In fact, one might argue that without the Spirit of God, it isn't a church moving. It's but a group of people who ultimately don't have that critically important third ingredient to guide our actions toward love, reconciliation, mercy, equality and justice.

Spend time as a group discussion what it looks for the few of you, and then Crosspointe as a whole, to hoist sails and catch the Wind in our homes, schools, jobs, city and world.


Thaw

• How is your life changing with Summer coming to a close?
• What have you learned about yourself recently?
• What has most stayed with you from Sunday morning?

Read

• Genesis 11:1-9
• Thoughts?

Read

• Acts 2:1-21
• Thoughts

Discuss

• What kind of symmetry do you pick up on when you read these two stories, separated as they are by thousands of years?
• God is bridging a gap between peoples. Why is it necessary that The Spirit is involved in this reconnecting?
• This is a story about a minority of people not merely managing their sins and staying out of trouble, but moving toward and into others' world to "make the two, one". When you think about the birth of the church, in what ways does your or your family's faith have room to grow?

Read

• Ephesians 4:28
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Help the group see that this little verse is Paul describing the two major phases of faith. A "stop sinning and be good" phase, which is very important. And then a matured, "here's the good we accomplish" phase, which is what marks us as not merely religious or moral, but "Christlike".

Discuss

• What are the difficulties in growing from a "sin no more" phase of your faith, into the "go and serve" phase?

Apply

• In what ways can this group, and the individuals and families that comprise it, take a more active role in bringing about the love, the healing, the reconciliation and the peace of Christ?

Of Forests and Trees. Isaiah.

If you can get through a day without having to genuinely say you're sorry to another human being you're probably doing faith wrong.

As a group, discuss the importance of slowing down our speech, recognizing the power in our words whether intended or not, and the peace restoring effect of saying "I'm sorry". And perhaps, as a group, you can become the kind of people who can't get through a day without saying "I'm sorry" because, with a disciplined mouth wired to a transformed mind, you're finally starting to do faith right!


Thaw

• What changes in the calendar are upon the members of the group and how are those affecting life?

• What most stuck with you from Sunday?
• What is something you had heard before but it struck you differently? Why do you think this is?

Read

• Isaiah 6:1-6
• Thoughts?

Leader note: It may be worth pointing out that before, as is depicted in verses after tge, Isaiah can be commissioned, as is depicted in verses after this passage, he must first deal with his own junk. Those who speak for God must do so from a place of real transformation, not simply information.

Read

• Proverbs 26:18-28
• Favorites?

Read

• Matthew 5:21-24
• Thoughts?
• Why would Christ prioritize reconciliation with another human being over the act of worshiping God?

Discuss

• What is the difference between mere censorship and truly disciplining your speech?
• What are we saying when we say we're sorry?
• What are we saying when we say we're sorry but also make sure that the offense of the others are included? ("I'm sorry, but you.....")
• What are we doing when we demand someone say they're sorry?

Leader note: This is a question that deals with what the other feels and what we are demanding they feel. If we demand an apology, we are often demanding an act. When someone takes the time to understand the hurt they have caused, the "sore-y" will be felt and the apology will come. Otherwise it's forced, which could be argued to be a second insult!

Apply

• There are undoubtedly people in this group whose words have made others in the group uncomfortable. Do you think it might be you? Why or why not?

For the next three Sundays (August 3, 10, 17) there will be for the Sunday messages no specific discussion guides provided. Use general questions such as these below, while also being mindful of the specific passages, stories and themes covered.

• What's something going on in your life that made this Sunday pertinent?
• What did you learn about yourself, others or God?
• What were the new ideas and what were the reminders?
• What passages were taught in the message, and how did the teaching about these passages awaken you to the story we're part of?
• Did other people and your relationship to them come to mind during or after the message? Who and why?
• What areas of growth have you identified?
• How can this group help you grow in those areas?
• What do you suspect will be working against your effort to grow?

Of Forests and Trees. Elisha.

Jesus's first recorded words in the Gospel of Mark are that the News from the front is good. We are invited to turn back toward this news (Mark 1:15). Your group time will be another small step in believing this proclamation of the Kingdom, situated right in front of us, if only obscured by a few trees.

Imagine if your group became even more free and full of light as its members conned to awaken to what God really is, and the Love that's really there for them.

Imagine if, contrary to other reports from other fronts, we all began to see that there's goodness available to us and between us all right now!



Thaw

• What makes a person and optimist?
• What makes a person a pessimist?
• What does it mean to be a realistic, honest person while also being hopeful and positive?
• What most stuck with you from Sunday?

Read

• 2 Kings 2:19-22
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Has there ever been a time in your faith journey where you felt like God "healed the waters" only later to revert back to a sense that things were as "undrinkable" as ever?

Read

• Philippians 4:4-9
• Thoughts?

Leader note: This passage is beyond familiar for many students of the Bible. Yet, to receive it as the writing of Paul, a man imprisoned, misunderstood, alienated from friends and family alike, unsure when he'd finally be killed for his alleged blasphemy, helps us to keep it fresh in our minds as a directive for our most pessimistic inclinations. Help the group understand that this wasn't written from a place of naive comfort, but from a co-laborer, co-struggler and one who understood just what it means to be rescued by God from being enslaved by our own negativity and victimization.



Apply

• Have you given this group, or any other group, the right to tell you whether you are person who lives as though the water is good or not? (In other words, have you made it safe to tell you if you are negative, if you complain disproportionately, if you are one looking to retain your victim energy?)

Leader note: Be cautious of real victimization within your members. Some in our groups have been mistreated in the worst way. We never, especially in the name of faith and spirituality, tell people that they need to "just trust God and get over it." At the same time, without any one person in the group being targeted, create an atmosphere that challenges the instinct to see circumstances as always against. To create a spirit in your group where members allow one another to push back on cynicism and an insistence that bad things are more likely to be real that good things. This is a big part of what it means to be free people of God- we can live in the world though it goes on being the world, with new, unmerited access to clean water.

• How would your life be different if you really began to believe that you are not at the center of misfortune, disappointment and negativity? What would you become freed of those waters?
• How can this group remind you of the freedom you already have so that you can begin to really live?

Of Forests and Trees. Nebuchadnezzar.

If God has an ego, we're in trouble.

Because history has shown that ego + power = suffering for all.

But what if God, and God's power, aren't there to keep us trembling and in fear (as in reminded at gunpoint this Town ain't big enough for more than one Sheriff) but as a resource and reminder that we don't have to do what the animals do; remain fit enough to survive. That at the center of a very beautiful and difficult Universe, there is love and peace for us all.


Use this discussion time to reshape your views of God, each other and what God wants us to know about our place in the Universe.


Thaw

• What's on your mind today?
• What most stuck with you from Sunday?

Read

• Philippians 2:10-11
• Without context -as verses like this are often shared- what does Paul seem to be saying to his audience of varying opinion and faith?

Read

• Philippians 2:1-11
• With context, what does this say?

Discuss

• What are the implications of a master who has walked all the way through life, and is THEN exalted to a place where other recognize his rule?
• What are the implications of a king who simply inherits the throne without any sense of "earning" it?

Read

• Daniel chapter 4
• Thoughts?

Leader note: It's important to realize that Nebuchadnezzar is an appreciator of the God of the Hebrews, but also still has his own pantheon of gods he's traditionally sought as a Babylonian. He is still transitioning to monotheism. His chief god, by the way, is Bel, or more technically in Akadian, "Marduk." Marduk is the head of the gods and is the judge, therefore making Daniel's involvement, whose named means "The Hebrew God is my Judge"all the more interesting. Also note in verse 35 that Nebuchadnezzar recognizes that "all the inhabitants of the earth are counted as nothing." This is a rhetorical device, where his own humbling is applied universally. But clearly, as reenforced by Jesus' command to love one another and that being the highest law; others are worth infinitely more than "nothing." For a self-absorbed king, it's a big step for Nebuchadnezzar to say "perhaps nobody is that big of a deal after all!" The playing field is leveling a bit for Nebuchadnezzar.

Discuss

• Why didn't God destroy Nebuchadnezzar?
• What kind of leader do you think he was after he got his sanity back?

Apply

• In what ways might God need to humble you?
• Why would he want to do that (think of the relationships you have with friends, family, co-workers and how humility might make you more connected to them as "one with you".
• In what ways might God be trying to get you to notice the oppression around you?
• In what ways might God be inviting you to risk experiencing hardship, pain and disappointment, even though you may have gotten good at avoiding it?
• How can this group be helpful as you choose to allow yourself to be humbled so that you might grow in compassion, awareness and love?

Of Forests and Trees. Abraham.

From a Jewish-identity perspective, it all stars with Abraham. Take this time to talk about not only Abraham but also what these images and stories means to faith for other people, in other cultures, all these generations later. There is a lot of content here. You should feel free to use all of it, or select parts that fit your group's personality.

Thaw

• What's the biggest thing you have ever been promised?
• What's the biggest promise you have ever made?
• What most stuck with you about the message Sunday?

Read

• Genesis 12:1-3
• Thoughts?
• What do you notice about what God is setting up?

Leader note: Note that God, six times in just these three verses, says "I will". It's already based on God before the details are given. Also note this is not a tribal or cultural or nation-based promise. It's for all. The actual hebrew terms translated here are "all the various tribes/families of the soil ("adamah") will be blessed because of you". This is something for all humanity, despite the rigid exclusivity that the Jews, and later the Christians, put on it.

Read

• Genesis 15:1-12
• Thoughts?
• Why would God count Abram's continued faith as righteousness, when he'd done nothing else at this point? Why is God so big on trust?

• Why do you think God had Abram reference the stars?

Leader note: Stars make the point of the innumerability of Abram's offspring very well. But also, remember, that Abram has been called out of a whole system that worships and depends on the close watching of the night sky to determine blessing. God is now teaching Abram to use it to remember the faithfulness of a real God.

• Why do you think God used an already established custom of covenanting with cut animals, verses creating something new to get the point of "commitment" across?

Leader note: God seems to, most times, take existing cultural norms and spin them. Circumcision already existed. Temples already existed. Law contracts with abbreviated summaries already existed (see the Torah and the 10 commandments for His spin on that), eating bread and drinking wine were already sacred acts, baptism already existed, sacred writings already existed, hymns, psalms, prophecies, shepherds, sacrifice, etc, etc...)

• Why doesn't God correct Abram for all his questions? 
• Does this seem like doubt? 
• Do you express your doubts to God, or to people, or do you hide it? Why?

Leader note: the  "birds of prey" in verse 11 are "ayit", most likely carrion eating falcons. These falcons are identified with the Egyptian God, Horus, and is likely a wink toward the people of Israel's coming tussle with Pharaoh that would last 4 centuries. But, the seed Abram would, in some sense, successfully shoo that bird away.

Read

• Gen 15:12-13, 17-18
• Thoughts?
• What are the implication of God walking thru the blood alone and twice?
• Going back to the original chat with Abram in Gen 12, and now this- the whole plan seems to rest on the shoulders of God. So, then- what's the responsibility of Abram and all that would come after him?

Leader note: in the coming chapters, you find Abram lying, sleeping with a servant, Hagar, to "help" God with His promise, getting very little right and being largely clueless. God doesn't seem to be hoping we all have our lives all put together.

• Respond as a group to this statement: "God has obligated Himself to what He alone created. He has made Himself the sole guarantor to all creation being set right and redeemed. All our prayers for justice, all our hopes and dreams for being made whole in our own hearts and in all our relationships, all our cries that what is evil and ugly and broken be mended, go to a God that promised He would do all these things. God has bound Himself to fulfilling the purest ache for salvation in us. He has compelled Himself in His covenant to Abram to save the world and to redeem everything in heaven and earth. He must follow through."

Apply

• How do covenant relationships differ from contractual ones?
• How do we live as covenant people in a world that needs the blessing God promised thousands of years ago? 
• What are some examples of stepping into this covenant in our own lives?
• Do you think this LifeGroup is an example of covenant relationships, or something else?
• What can the people of this group do to more fully give themselves to the others,regardless of others performance, merit, etc?

Of Forests & Trees. Jonah

They're all stories we've heard at least a piece of. Jonah, David and Goliath. Sampson. But few of us allow ourselves to glean more than the one or two layers of the story than we're familiar with. Oh, that's that story about the whale that ate that guy. That's the story about the weakling taking down a giant. That's that strong dude with good hair.

Spend some time as a group to discover why stories from as far back as the Bronze Age might still have something to say to our modern life, if we'll allow ourselves to resee the larger picture, the nuance and the subtext.

Thaw

• What is something you are learning right now?
• What most stuck with you from Sunday?

Watch

• Many in the group may have seen this before. But if not, it's a good intro into seeing more than what you've determined to look for: http://youtu.be/Ahg6qcgoay4
• (or, same principle but less well known, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzC_sHTW43c)

Discuss

• Can you remember a time where you became fixated on only one part of the whole (in a project, in a relationship, etc.) and regretted it? Share. 

Read

• Jonah 1:17
• Jonah 2:10
• Jonah 3:5
• Jonah 3:8
• Jonah 3:10
• Jonah 4:1-11
• Thoughts?
• What is this story about if we remove the giant fish? 
• In what ways does the story of Jonah differ from how you'd always thought of it?
• How do you think the first Jewish hearers of this story took it?

Apply

• What does your answer to the above have to do with our own understanding of God and our lives now?
• Do you think the plausibility of a fish swallowing Jonah detracts from the point of the story for us today, adds to it, or has no bearing? Explain?
• How can this group benefit from being challenged to see God as at work in the lives of those we determined were on the outside of our faith?

2,4,6,8: "Big Picture"

This week the message spoke more to the artistic and visual dimension of our minds. Use your group's discussion time to see how this helped the members grasp a larger narrative, connect the dots or even find themselves within the story.

• What most resonated with you?
• Which part of the illustration do you find yourself living in?

Read (in order)

• Gen 3:25 
• Rev 21:1-3
• Exodus 3:7
• Galatians 3:10
• Proverbs 3:34 
• Galatians 3:13
• Revelation 22:1-3

• Thoughts?
• How does this sequence of events differ from your understanding of faith and what God is up to?
• How will this understanding affect you, the life of this group, or other facets of your day-to-day?