Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Raising the Bar of Authentic Fellowship

How to learn the deep "one another" community described in Scripture.
by Howard A. Snyder

Community in the New Testament sense of koinonia assumes and requires face-to-face communication, whether in a horse-and-buggy age or an Internet age. Three things marked New Testament Christian community: It was centered in Jesus Christ (believers met together as Jesus' followers, constituting his body); this fellowship was a gift of the Holy Spirit; and the community was missional. That is, the New Testament community was directed toward a purpose outside itself—actually being a living witness to Christ and the gospel's power in the world.

Christian community is easily mistaken for mere cordiality, courtesy, or sociability. It easily becomes least-common-denominator "fellowship," not much different from the Kiwanis club or a neighborhood potluck. Often, so-called Christian community is marked by nothing that is specifically Christian and nothing that challenges the values of surrounding pagan society.

There is an answer to this problem, however: The "one another" passages in the New Testament.

Key Characteristics
Several things stand out when we look at the many "one anothers"—such as "be devoted to one another" (Romans 12:10), "serve one another" (Galatians 5:13), "carry one another's burdens" (Galatians 6:2).

First, most of these passages imply behaviors, not just attitudes. The New Testament writers are less concerned with how believers feel about each other than they are about their actions—their living together as community and publicly as disciples. Sometimes we reverse this, focusing on attitudes but forgetting action.

Second, all the "one another" passages imply a social context—appropriate structures in which these behaviors can be lived out. In the New Testament, of course, the early church was essentially a network of home fellowships, and this happened more naturally. Today, in congregations of hundreds and thousands, most of the "one anothers" happen through home groups or other small-group structures—Bible studies, choirs, and so on. But not all of these structures are as intentional or as deep as the New Testament sense of community.

Third, nearly all the "one another" passages are imperatives—instructions about actual behaviors, not reminders of abstract spiritual truths we can enjoy meditating upon. The New Testament is full of these "one another" injunctions precisely because early Christians needed to be reminded of them.

If so then, even more so today.

Raising the Bar
Hebrews 10:24–25 shows that mutual encouragement ("Spur one another on toward love and good deeds") was a primary church function. The author of Hebrews tells these brothers and sisters to be intentional: Consider how you may prompt one another to the practical living out of your faith.

This passage also hints, however, that "some" were developing a bad habit of neglecting the meetings. So it is in any age or culture. Some people will drop by the wayside. The temptation, then, is to water down the intimacy or frequency or cost of meeting together to accommodate those who want something less demanding.

This is a fatal mistake. Historical and sociological studies have shown repeatedly that churches with high belonging expectations are more vital, grow faster, have more countercultural impact, and last longer than those that relax the intensity of their community life.

In small groups, it is important to share your concerns and "growing edges," and to study Scripture. Face-to-face community in such contexts is not a secondary add-on—it is the church itself, as described in Acts 2:42 ("They devoted themselves … to the fellowship") and in the "one another" passages.

When in 1738 John Wesley started the religious group known as the Fetter Lane Society, he said that he did so "in obedience to the command of God by St. James, and by the advice of Peter Böhler." The reference is to James 5:16 ("Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed"). Wesley came to understand—as other Christians have learned—that Christians don't naturally confess to each other. It takes the kind of trust and openness that develops only in some form of face-to-face community. That is the way churches know what it means to "be healed."

Howard A. Snyder is professor of the history and theology of mission at Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Take a Scroll through Raleigh

Hey Group Leaders                   
I hope this note finds you doing well.
You may already know about this- but I wanted to alert you and your group to a great way to dive into some fascinating history related to the Bible.
Through December, the NC Museum of Natural Sciences will be holding an exhibit on the Dead Sea Scrolls- right here in Raleigh! These are the ancient texts found in caves in 1947 on papyri and include fragments of Genesis, Exodus, Isaiah and more- all a thousand years older than the next oldest fragment of copied sacred text. This tour will help us discover how the scrolls are dated, how they preserve them, interpret them and what they mean to us as we take the Scriptures more and more seriously. Truly a rare treat!
This is a huge opportunity that will surely peak some first-time interest in some group members about the history of the sacred texts, and how we have come to get what we now call The Bible.
Groups of 10 or more pay $15 per person. I am told Mondays through Wednesday are the least attended nights- which may make for a better environment for questions and access to the texts.
If you go- please share the stories of what you learned and experienced together. We'd all love to hear them.

Happy scrolling,
Steve

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Pandemic Discussion, Part IV

This week, Steve will be teaching part four in this series. This week's topic is repentance--changing one's mind about the path that they're on. This week encourage your group members to "name it". What changes of thought or action are needed at this point in their journey? If there is a time to dive in, this is the week. Take the opportunity to encourage vulnerability; remind them of confidentiality. Know we are cheering you on and we are praying for you and your group.

Based on the content of the teaching/message:

What were the key points for you?
What was the "one thing" you took away?
What surprised you?
What bothered you? Why?
Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?
What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?
What did I learn that was new to you?
*About God?
*About yourself?
*About others?
What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?
What changes of action are needed?
How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?
What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Pandemic Discussion, Part III

This week, Steve will be teaching part three in this series. In talking about suffering and evil, keep in mind that Jesus does answer this and ultimately resolves it by way of the cross and His sacrifice. Remember communion is always appropriate in the context of a group and especially so when talking about eradicating evil and suffering. So we'd encourage you to consider communion in your next meeting as we dive into this topic.

Listed below are the general questions that you can use this week in your discussion. If you'd like to refresh your memory on Steve's thoughts and how-to's for celebrating communion together as a group, then please refer to the blog post on Thursday, May 29th.

Based on the content of the teaching/message:

What were the key points for you?
What was the "one thing" you took away?
What surprised you?
What bothered you? Why?
Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?
What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?
What did I learn that was new to you?
*About God?
*About yourself?
*About others?
What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?
What changes of action are needed?
How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?
What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Thursday Dinners at the DRM in Oct-Dec

Hi leaders,
Pam McKerring, Pastor of Mobilization, tells me that the following dates are already spoken for in October: 9th, 16th, 23rd, and 31st. Be sure to discuss this incredible opportunity with your group soon to select a date then contact Pam.
For more details, refer to the blog post on July 10, 2008.
Have a great day!
Jenny

Friday, July 11, 2008

Pandemic Discussion Part II

Many LifeGroups are following this series and discussing the affects of sin and suffering in our world. As they tackled the depths of last weeks discussion, many found there was a lot more than you could possibly get to in a single group time. You should review last week here and be open to revisiting the momentum that you have begun and not finished then.
This week, we will build discussion on last week's theme as well as talk about some NT principles and an interesting statement found in psalm 137:1-4. When times are at their toughest, we many times withdraw from God and wait for things to get better before we deem Him worthy of our praise and following again. We can't even imagine seeing Him the same way when everything is going wrong around us.

This week, you can pick up on some of the exact theme from last week, as well as how we build on the message.

Thaw
  • What's something you haven't done in a long time that you really miss doing?
  • What something someone has asked you to do, but you just don't want to do anymore?
  • What changed? Why don't you do it anymore?
  • How is this like what happens in our faith when things get difficult?

Read
  • Psalm 137:1-4
  • First thoughts?
  • Can you blame the Israelites for feeling this way? Why or why not?
Read
  • Romans 5:3-5
  • First thoughts
  • Spend some time as a group walking through how this progression actually looks when lived out.
Leader note: You may help the group note that the rejoicing in the beginning has in mind the hope and character in the end. You can't rejoice if you don't think there is anything beyond the suffering, or that you are going to turn out worse for it. We must believe that God can redeem anything, and come back to the principle of not knowing why, but that God IS going to do something about it. 
You may also note, if none of the group members recognize it, that the words "us" and "we" are used in this short passage 6 times (literally about 3 in the original language, but implied as many as 3 additional times, as translated in English in the New International Version). This supports the pervasive call of the scriptures, in contrast to our modern way of living individually, to live these realities openly, in community, vulnerably and in long term unity, no matter what.

Discuss
  • What are ways we hang our harps?
  • Do you agree that giving up on living in trust, selflessness, love and holiness are ways we "hang our harps"? Why or why not?
  • In looking at the passage from Romans 5, what are the benefits of someone sharing their grief, pain and suffering with you and the group? What are the drawbacks?
  • What does this say to our need to tell our story(ies)?

Application
  • What can this group do to collectively pick their harp back up?
  • What's in the way?
  • What needs to change to make this happen?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Life Group Curriculum Guide & Serving at the DRM

Hi leaders,
We have posted the Life Group Curriculum Guide on the blog itself so you’ll be able to access the latest version anytime you need it. We have even updated it since reGroup so take a look at the additional new resources plus two new categories-- “For Women Only” and “Exploring Christianity”. Also if you’d like a printed version, you’ll always find a few on the bookcase outside of my office; feel free to take one.

We are excited that many of you have already chosen one of the Thursdays in October, November and December to serve a meal at the Good Samaritan’s Inn at the Durham Rescue Mission. Please contact Pam McKerring if you have questions or if your group is interested and hasn’t signed up yet. We have also posted her handouts for meal ideas (which you did NOT receive at reGroup), overcoming possible hurdles, conversation starters, and general information as your group considers volunteering for one of the Thursday meals.

Thank you for your leadership and service!
Jenny

Monday, July 7, 2008

Help your group find Rescued Treasure!

Hi Leaders.
Pam McKerring, Crosspointe's new Pastor of mobilization, sent this email to Jenny and I last week. You will definitely find it helpful for getting your group plugged into serving others in our area. Thanks, Pam.

Hey guys!
I just got back from an afternoon at the Rescued Treasures Thrift Store operated by the Durham Rescue Mission! 
One, I never realized how close it was to Crosspointe until I drove there today.  We are practically neighbors! They are literally 15 minutes North on Highway 55!
Two, I never realized how many "treasures" they had there!  Wow, some seriously awesome stuff, I might have to go back on Saturday and continue furnishing my apartment.
Three, it is an easy place to volunteer, and loads of fun!  I laughed, had some good talks with a few ladies, and yes learned some new words to add to my vocabulary...I love learning languages in different communities!  There are so many ways to give your time there...and they aren't picky about how much time you serve!  Show up when you can and leave when you need to...and your kids are more than welcome to come along too!

I learned a lot while I was there.  First, they weren't really expecting me, miscommunication happens, but when I told them I was there to volunteer and not shop they eagerly, and with a huge smile put me to work!  I had a blast working alongside a 14 year old girl from the area who had community service to complete!  It made me realize how much Durham Rescue Mission does to allow for life change in our community.  It was awesome!  Also, I never realized how much of a financial impact the thrift store has for DRM!  I learned that because people donate their stuff to them, they are able to feed and house more and more people!  This is serious info in the financial times we are in!  

So now that I have gone once, I am going to try and speak with some expertise about how people can serve there...here goes...

1.  Call and let them know you would like to volunteer!  (Call Rodney 688-9641 ext 5025)
2.  Show up.  At the cashier they have a volunteer notebook they like you to sign before you get started.  Let them know you are there to volunteer and they will get you going!
3.  have fun serving and encourage those you are working beside.  Most likley they are residents of the Men's mission or the Good Samaritan Inn and they are learning valuable life skills to be able to move towards self-sufficiency one day.  
4.  When you need to leave, let them know, sign out, encourage them, and if you are desperate like I was, hit a drive through and get a cold soda, or blended iced chai and praise God for the work he is doing in our area through the Durham Rescue mission as you drive home!

ANOTHER OPTION:
Give to them!  We all have stuff in our attic, in our garages, sheds, trunks...you name it, we have it, I think I even have stuff I am not using stuffed away somewhere.  Well, do a little spring cleaning, and take it to them, they will take it off your hands with a smile, and sell it to help support the needs of the mission!  Sidenote:  They don't accept mattresses or car seats because of NC State Law.

As always, people can feel free to connect with me if they want to learn more about serving,  

Pam McKerring
Pastor Of Mobilization
 

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Pandemic. Discussion Guide I

pan·dem·ic  (pan-ˈde-mik) adj. From Greek pandēmos “of all the people”, (pan- all + dēmos people) : occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population.

For the next few weeks, we will be talking about a highly communicable disease that affects us all: suffering and evil. Each of us are victims of suffering in different ways and degrees. We are also, each of us, responsible for its spreading.

We Read in Genesis 1 and 2 an ideal. By chapter 3, sin and all its influence enters the scene and God’s “very good” world is infected. From rebellion against God in people, to pain and fear to ways that we slowly kill ourselves; what God intended for us and this earth has been deeply contaminated.

In this first week, we will ask the question that always comes first on the heels of suffering and tragedy….why? Why would God make/allow this to happen? Why, if I am a follower, would this happen to me? Why is God punishing me, since I, unlike so many others, am sincerely working on my faith in Him? We’ve all asked why-questions in our own words.

But maybe there are better questions to be asked. Questions that move beyond the “why?” and get into “what are God and His people going to do about suffering?”

This series could be a “next-level” season for your group. Not because the messages will be that groundbreaking (though, we’ll swing as hard as we can!) but because the discussion content could reveal the deepest issues your members have working against their lives, against their faith, and even against their ability to see God for who He really is. As their leader, be mindful that a superficial discussion about suffering fails to take advantage of perhaps the most significant issues growing inside those your journeying with. Make sure your LifeGroup environment is one you head into prayerfully, with a constant challenge to your members to wade out into deeper waters.

Special note: If you have someone in your group that has lost a loved one, and you feel like that is the exact suffering that needs dealt with in your group, you may want to watch and discuss the Nooma entitled "Matthew", as it deals with this issue specifically. We have copies in the office.

 

Thaw

  • What's your favorite movie about someone's life not going how they wanted?
  • What are the songs, foods, books, movies, activities, etc. that make a bad day better?
  • Share about a day (week?) where everything went wrong, and what it was like. The proverbial “worst day of my life”.
  • What were the main takeaways for you regarding this Sunday message?
  • Were there any ideas you found helpful, surprising, confusing?

Read

  • John 9:1-3

Discuss

  • First thoughts?

Leader note: A couple things you may find worth noting. First, the question posed to Jesus about the man’s blindness being a punishment for his own sin is a silly one. How could a person commit a punishable act prior to being born? Next, you may also note that Jesus refers to Himself as being “sent” in verse 4 (as He does in numerous Gospel passages), and then to heal the man, he makes mud and then sends him to wash in the pool of Siloam, which means “sent”. Like Jesus’ teachings and parables, his healing is even theatrical and paints a broader picture for people to think about.

  • What are the disciples trying to do in verse one?

Leader note: This may seem like a strange question, but the goal is to get people to look beneath the text and see if they can find the very human motivation behind the question. The disciples are trying to find meaning and purpose. “What’s the reason?” “Why has this happened?”

  • What are some examples of “having a reason” for pain in your life that made it bearable?
  • What are some examples of suffering you have experienced where you never got any explanation? What got you through?
  • How is giving people who are in the midst of suffering trite explanations, clichés or speculation as to the “why” often a bad thing?

Leader note: See if you can uncover that when we speculate and try to give words of explanation to people in the throws of some kind of suffering, it’s generally for ourselves and our desire to fix. In other words, when we try and give a friend the possible rationale behind their darkest day, it’s really to sooth our own sense of discomfort and awkwardness about not knowing what to do. If you get into this with the group, you may want to discuss the principle of “sitting Sheva”, where Jewish people mourn silently with their friend who has just suffered the loss of a family member. The principle is helpful even beyond the scope of a death in the family, in that it puts us at ease with just being present and quiet until needed and spoken to, rather than the harried activity and telling the suffering what to think and feel while deciding what they need to heal quickly. You may also want to reference Romans 12:15.


Read

  • Colossians 1:15-19

Discuss

  • First thoughts?
  • What does the cross “reconcile?”

Leader note: It may have never occurred to some of your group members that the death of Jesus doesn’t stop at forgiving our individual sin, but reconciles (squares, settles, puts to rights, resolves, patches up) everything on earth and in heaven. The effects of sin are currently being eradicated by the Cross and by those who live by it.

  • What does this say about the role of Christ followers regarding evil and suffering in people’s lives and the world as a whole?
  • You may not be able to answer the question “why is there suffering in the world?”, but in light of this passage from Colossians 1, what you say God is/is going to do about it? 

Leader note: Make sure that the church is highlighted as one of the primary means by which the power of the cross is carried out. This cannot be overstated!


Read

  • Phil 1:28-30
  • 2 Thes 1:4-5
  • 1 Peter 4:12-13

Discuss

  • What do these passages say to the idea that being faithful to God will result in ease?

Leader note: As simplistic as this sounds, many people reflexively assume that when suffering comes, it means God has gone. More Christian faith, for many, means less difficulty. But, this is not the case. In fact, it’s an easy argument from even a cursory reading of the New Testament that following Jesus makes your life, in many respects, harder. Harder in the sense that for many people in the world, you are now opening yourself to a certain kind of persecution. Harder in another sense that you are living selflessly in a world that seems to get by on selfishness. In Christ, we are people who love, give, live at peace, live wisely, live calmly, faithfully, interdependently. All the while, the same broken world exists around us, reinforcing the lie that the only way to survive in it is to be live as a selfish animal, constantly avoiding pain at other’s expense.

Be sure to discern how your members are dealing with this question, and don’t let your group off the hook here. Really dig around and see if the “why?” question, if ever asked of God in the midst of suffering (maybe even being asked this week by a member going through some crisis) is really being generated by a misunderstanding about faith. They may have the false view that “we” (God’s people) are supposed to be somehow exempt from pain, sorrow and even the seemingly random consequences of a world contaminated by sin. The passages above, as well as Jesus’ own life-example, contradict this idea.


Application

  • How then, should followers of Christ suffer? How does it look differently?
  • How is it unhealthy to spiritualize suffering as though spiritual maturity equals being less affected by tragedy?
  • Leader note: Reference John 11 where Jesus weeps ( and is quite disturbed in that it says He cries, and twice, that He was “deeply moved”…) even though He knows Lazarus will be coming back to life in a matter of moments. Knowing with certainty what God is doing about the affects of sin in the world doesn’t equal “no heart-break”
  • What is the role of your LifeGroup, or any small group of people you have entrusted your life to, in times of deep suffering? How does a suffering group member communicate need? How do the others find out if the communication is lacking?

Scriptures for further study

  • Genesis 3
  • 1 Corinthians 12:25-27
  • 2 Timothy 3:10-12
  • 1 Peter 3:8

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Site Update

By clicking here, you can view the other items available on the actual LifeGroup Leader site that you don't see when updates come to your email's inbox, or if you use a reader. You can also enjoy the fresh, brilliant new look! Currently, down the right hand column of the site, you can find the following resources:
BUT! We want to always be improving the tools we put into our leaders hands. So, here's how you can have some say about the site: What are topics we can specifically touch on? What other bits of information do you find yourself needing? How else can this site be helpful to you?

Let us know in the comment section, or by emailing me or Jenny. If we can do it (or if we can steal it from another site), we will.

Steve

Moving Help Needed

A family in our church community is moving his mother to the area this weekend and needs help unloading a truck on Monday morning, July 7th at 10:00am. If you or your group members can serve them in this way, please call Sheryl Martin at 481-9967.
Thank you for considering,
Jenny

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

LifeGroup Member Roles

This past Sunday at reGroup, one of the things that came up a few times was the importance of properly assigning roles to the members of your group. The more ownership each person has, the more it becomes clear that they are part of the momentum that God is trying to create in the group. I often think of it through the minds of uninvolved members; "if I don't show up tonight, what does that affect other than attendance?" If the answer is nothing, then I am likely to not show here and there...what's the difference, really? I won't even be missed.
As we try to be more intentional about this piece, here's a list of roles that you may consider assigning in the weeks to come. Remember that the goal isn't to create busy work, or to merely delegate- it's about the whole group working as an interdependent body toward the things God has, uniquely, for your band of friends. Some roles are universal. Some need to go to very specific people. Be wise and prayerful as you make your assignments, also keeping in mind that some people may not be able to accept them.

Special Events/Days. This person keeps a record of all birthdays, anniversaries, upcoming vacations, surgeries, interviews, etc... With this information, they also take on the role of keeping the whole group up to date, and alerted ahead of time for birthdays and such so the rest of the group can get cards, visit, etc...

Snacks. This person simply keeps the snack calendar so it that it gets rotated between people well. They also keep information like allergies, dietary restrictions, etc. This person would obviously find overlap here and there with the special events person, since birthday cake and meals being provided during a member's sickness will pop up a lot!

Prayer Concerns. Mostly, this is the leaders job. But it's also helpful to have someone that helps keep a log of those concerns that are way out on the horizon, and ones that need revisited from time to time. This role is entrusted to a person that gets the weight and significance of prayer within the group, and the importance of being consistent and having good memories.

Hosting. This can be huge. Rotate the location of your group to various members' homes. Be sure each home is appropriate and not too out of the way for the members, and make sure that the change of venue is well communicated.

Discussion leading. You may hand-select certain members to actually lead discussions, for a one time thing or for a whole series. This is a great way at setting up future leaders with the confidence that they can actually do this part of LifeGroup leading.

Serving. This person organizes schedules, working with Pam McKerring, to get the group to the Durham Rescue Mission, other local opportunities, at Crosspointe in different capacities on Sunday mornings, as well as joins you, the leader, in planning trips to Haiti or Kenya.

Socials. You need to have fun together. This person plans your outings- from Bowling, to camping, to guys/girls nights, road trips, etc...If this is to be routinely enjoyed, someone other than the leader will have to own it.

Maybe you have seen other roles fulfilled in the context of a group. We would love for you to share those ideas with us. Click here and leave your ideas in the comment section of this post.

Also, be sure and share stories of how God blesses the unity and momentum of your group through this effort of sharing the mission. 

Steve
 

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