You know. You want her.

This Sunday, we begin a new series of teachings that we have been excited about for a while. On the surface of it, the actual subject matter doesn't sound all that interesting. In fact, it sounds rather boring, or rather irrelevant to our "modern" lives. The topic? 

Wisdom.

Personified in the scriptures as a woman that invites us inter her ways- wisdom (chokmah, ormah, sophia in the Biblical languages) is actually a central theme to Who God is and what He wants for/from us. However, our modern, Westernized Christian culture often seems to forget this. In her place, we uphold morality. In addition, we judge things with a moral measuring stick. But, even though morals have their place, th

ey are not the point, and not at all the chief concern of God. Shocked? Many people will be until they come to see just what the implications of wisdom, and seeking her, are. Wisdom goes well beyond morality- well into how life actually works and doesn't work. We all want that.

_______________________________

You know. You want her.  Discussion Guide Part I

Thaw

• What are rules from your childhood ( home, school, team) that never made sense?
  
• What are rules that you broke as a kid and there were no consequences?
  
• What did that do to your perception of rules?
• What are some things from Sunday's message that stuck with you?
• What are some of the questions that the message raised for you?

Read (aloud)

• Proverbs Chapter 8 and Chapter 9:1-6
• What stands out to you?
• What are some of the notable differences in translations that you observed during the reading?

Discuss

• Does our current culture celebrate any sort of wisdom, ignore it or reject it? Explain your response.
  
• What differences are there in your mind between morality and wisdom?
  

Leader Note: Help your group understand that morals, though important in many se

ttings, are accepted customs. Mores change and shift with moods, times, regions, politics, influences, arts, wars, etc...Wisdom, personified in the actual Word (logos) of God, in Jesus, isn't affected by what we accept!)

Respond as a group to these quotes:

•  "Custom represents the experiences of men of earlier times as to what they supposed useful and harmful—but the sense for custom (morality) applies, not to these experiences as such, but to the age, the sanctity, the indiscussability of custom. And so this feeling is a hindrance to the acquisition of new experiences and the correction of customs: that is to say, morality is a hindrance to the creation of new and better customs: it makes stupid. " — Nietzsche Daybreak 19
• "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences." -C.S. Lewis
  
• How might enforcing morality, or giving it primacy, diminish how people view God?
  
• A popular bumper sticker reads, "God said it, that settles it". Do you think it's disrespectful or sacrilegious to discuss why God may have commanded something, to explore where He is coming from? In other words, does it honor God more to explore His "big picture Wisdom", or to be satisfied with the bumper sticker?

Apply

Apply this discussion about wisdom vs. morality to:

• Drinking alcohol. 
  
• Premarital sex.
  
• Lying. ( Leader Note: is there ever a time to? How do you "know"?)
• Cheating on taxes.
  
• Current "Political" issues.
  

Leader Note: You may need to pay close attention through the night to people perhaps giving the group permission to speak into an issue that needs wisdom. You may also note that over the course of the next few weeks, that's exactly what one or more members need, and you should shut down the course of study and come around that person in the Spirit of wisdom (Prov 15:22). Don't feel tied to the study. Feel tied to pursuing Wisdom. Decision making, seeing God and His world, understanding Jesus, families, relationships, careers, spending, politics; this all has so much to do with embracing the Wisdom and understanding available to us through His Spirit and which saturates His world if we'll go after it. So, you should feel free to pursue Wisdom, wherever she calls your group during this series and in the months to come.

THIS SUNDAY!

Hey Group leaders- the following comes from our Children's Staff and needs some immediate attention. Thanks in advance to any of you that knock this out as a group and for continuing to help make what we do on Sunday mornings awesome!

-Steve

Deena and I are very fortunate to have a pretty consistent team of volunteers each week, but there are times when we will need extra help.  THIS SUNDAY IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES!
Four times this year there are months with 5 Sundays.  As most of our team volunteer either the 1st and 3rd or 2nd and 4th Sundays, we have openings on these 5th Sundays.  
This coming Sunday is a 5th Sunday! 

We also have 5 Sundays in June, August, and November.  We are looking for a group of you to become our Fifth Sunday Faithful! Those of you that help once a month and would like to help more, but not every other week, this would be perfect for you! This would mean that 4 times a year you would help us twice in one month!

I appreciate your prayerful consideration of this!  

Andrea Petkau & Deena Gilliam
Preschool Directors
apetkau@crosspointe.org

More than meets the inbox

Hello my dear group-leading friends,

I just wanted to remind you that if you are subscribed to the Life Group Leader Blog or use a blog reader- and that is your only access to the Blog- you are missing out on some of the resources. Currently, on the right hand column, you can find The Life Group Member Evaluation, The Covenant,  a link to the Nooma site for a description of each episode, a 6-Week Bible Crash Course, some service opportunities with contact info, a general discussion guide that you can use for weeks when there is no curriculum designed specifically for a Crosspointe message, as well as a complete list of the general themes for Crosspointe messages through the end of the year. There will be many more helpful things added in the future- so be sure, if you're not already, to visit frequently to get more resources and tools to lead your group!

Thanks for all you do!

Steve

Quotes worth chewing

I thought these quotes from the Saddleback Church Small Groups Conference were worth

chewing on as we talk about leading great Life Groups. So, let's chew together...

“Vision without implementation = hallucination.”

“Things work better when they’re plugged in.”

“The number one task of leadership is to continually clarify and communicate the purpose of the organization.”

“You either structure for control or growth, never both.”

“Want to move fast, go alone…Want to move far, go together.”

“You teach people what you know; you reproduce what you are.”

“No one gets into a spiritual hole with a backhoe; always with a spoon.”

From Life Group Leaders Jeff & Christy Wing

On  Good Friday, some members from our Life Group served at the Durham Rescue  Mission’s Easter Dinner Event.  We helped other volunteers to bag over  750 bags of groceries to donate.  It was wonderful to see everyone  pitching in wherever needed.  It was especially inspiring to see all  the children helping out.  We arrived at 9am.  As soon as we  received our assignment, Reese Wing and Ethan Miles (9 years old) announced  they were going to haul and count bags.  I ended up in the back room  filling grocery bags and didn't see them for the next 2 hours.  At one  point I asked my 6 year old daughter to hold a bag for me and she said, "I'm  sorry Mommy, I'm in the middle of a job over here that I have to complete."   It was really wonderful to see them taking their role seriously,  jumping in and doing whatever they could to do their part.  Little did  I know what would come next...

As we  finshed bagging and walked outside to find Ethan and Reese and the 750  completed grocery bags, we found Ethan in front of the News 14 camera being  interviewed by the news anchor!  What poise he had!  No adults  around forcing him to be cute and in control.  We then heard that she  had interviewed Reese.  That's when as a parent your excitement turns  to a little bit of fear - what does your 9 year old boy say on camera?!   And I wasn't even there to comb his hair!  On the way home we  asked Reese what he said - of course, he couldn't remember - yikes!   Jeff led into the fatherly lecture.... "I should have prepared you  better - whenever you are in these situations, son it's always best to let  Jesus shine.  We want to show the public why we do what we do.  We  want to remind everyone that Easter is about Jesus, not the Easter Bunny.   We want to show that coming together and serving together is a great  way to show God's love.  I'm sorry that I didn't better prepare you  before you were interviewed.  But now you will know for next  time."

Later  that night, we sat in front of the tv waiting with anticipation (and a  little fear) to see what Reese said in front of the camera - with out any  prompting or notice or advance warning.... God is Good..... even in when it  comes to parenting.... There is text but make sure you click on play and see  the video of the actual news video clip & interview.  

http://news14.com/content/local_news/triangle/594099/rescue-mission-holds-easter-dinner/Default.aspx  

It was a great day for everyone.  See you on Easter.  

He is  RISEN indeed!

Christy & Jeff Wing

 

Thanks for Dying...

Life Group Leaders,

As we launch into this great weekend of remembrance and celebration, I’m reminded how grateful I am for each of you and the critical role you serve in our community. “Thank you” is not nearly adequate to convey my appreciation for all your sacrifice of time and energy to get people connected in an environment where they can pursue Jesus, build authentic relationships, and be on mission together. I regularly hear stories from people about how much their Life Group means in their lives. And while all of us certainly go through seasons where you wonder how much of a difference I am really making, trust that God is always at work-using you in ways that you don’t always see or understand.

This weekend I’ll be talking about what has to die in order for us to be ushered into resurrection life. Well, being intentional and disciplined about loving people requires putting selfishness to death in numerous ways and as Life Group leaders, you model that weekly in our community and not only am I thankful, but I’m proud. I’m proud of who you are, what you do, and who you’re helping our community become.

So thanks for all you do and being on mission with us.

Grace and peace,

Jonathan

DRM Update!

The DRM still needs about 50 people for their Annual Good Friday Dinner. If you are available to serve with your group members- be sure and contact Rodney McClain (rodney.mcclain@durhmarescuemission.com) and register by the 12th!

Steve

The Trouble With Jesus- Discussion Guide II

The following may not suit your group, because the goal is to get your group thinking, and thinking about thinking...creatively. We too often default to black and/or white. This or that. Living Kingdom lives, however, requires that we make decisions, solve problems and see the world from outside the immediate context. But to choose the "third way" is often dangerous, difficult, and even more costly. So, spend time with your group members thinking of ways to be more creative about your individual lives, issues facing our community, and how followers of the King of the Third Way can impact the world outside of simplistic thinking.

_______________________________________

Discussion Guide

Thaw

• There is a room with a door (closed) and three light bulbs. Outside the room there are three switches, connected to the bulbs. You may manipulate the switches as you wish, but once you open the door you can't change them. Identify each switch with its bulb.
  

Leader note: Make sure and ask anyone who has encountered this riddle before to not blow it for the others. Also, make sure and give a good chunk of time for the group to work at figuring it out (the side-effect of this, unrelated to the topic, is that it will help the team learn about how it works together- which is always a plus!). Using the third way metaphor, you may notice that the group defaults to ways "one" and "two": they will try to solve the problem mechanically by taking the switch apart to see what wires went where, or wondering about some special tool that tells them what connects where and how. This is not the solution. They may also begin talking about light peaking through cracks in the door, or asking questions about other ways to see the light. Not it. The second way may be seen in their evaluation of the words in the riddle- looking for tricks and plays on words. This may be followed by a barrage of questions that are designed to get more accurate and complete information from you. This is not the solution. The "third way" in this riddle is to think of heat. A light bulb riddle is about more than light and riddle. The bulb generates heat. The solution is to flip the first switch and leave it "on" for an extended period. Then turn it back off and turn the second one "on". Go in the room. The one that is illuminated belongs to the second switch. The one that is off but warm is the first. The third is off and cool. You may have other and even better riddles that require a third way of thinking. The point is that the first two ways are default, and the third required something more!

• What were your thoughts from Sunday's message?
  
• What surprised you, or left you wondering?

Read

• Matthew 5:38-48
  
• First reactions?
  
• Does this bring up any other thoughts from Sunday's message?

• Is Jesus' teaching easier or harder than the Old Testament commands He expands on? Explain.
  
• Is Jesus' teaching easier or harder than the Roman Government's laws that He expands on? Explain.
  
• Many Christians have made themselves heard in recent years about the public posting of the Ten Commandments. Why do you think we never hear Christians voicing a desire to see the "Beatitudes" of Jesus, such as in this Matthew passage, also being publicly posted?

• What is the difference between the creative and difficult third way, and merely being indecisive, wishy washy, compensatory or pacifistic? 

• What are some examples, in our lives, of black and white decision making that seems inadequate? Pick a few examples from what is shared, and discuss as a group what the Third Way may look like in each.

• What are some examples of dealing with one another in relationships that could benefit from a Third Way?

• What are some business ethics examples that need the creativity of the third way? Politics?

• Are there any decisions pending for anyone in the group that seem lose/lose- that they would be willing to share to see if the Spirit and the group could speak a third way into it?
  

Close prayerfully! A major component to all of this is that our third way creativity is bathed in the Spirit of Christ, rather than in our own ingenuity. That Spirit is realized in the counsel of others (Prov 15:22) and through continued prayer and reflection.

The Paradox of Community Part II

The Issue of Truth
A second factor influencing this push/pull dynamic of intimacy is the difficulty we human beings have in facing the truth about ourselves. How often we wear masks and try to cover our tracks. How easily we deceive ourselves and others and try to justify inappropriate behavior. When we are afraid to face our true selves, and when we deceive others, we tend to flee relationships—with God, with ourselves, and also with others.

This urge to go it alone is not the only result of our deceptions; they can also prevent us from developing trust even if confidentiality is assured and practiced. If we conceal rather than risk disclosing our true selves, and if we deceive rather than trust others, we prevent the two necessary conditions for experiencing intimacy in our relationships: risk and trust.

What gives us the freedom to face the truth about ourselves? The Christian gospel affirms that it is okay not to be okay. Jesus came preaching a message of repentance and forgiveness of sin. Repent and believe in the gospel, Jesus taught. God's unconditional acceptance of us is what can give us the freedom to face the truth about ourselves—to be our true selves, warts and all. Rather than flee from others, then, we become free to reveal our shortcomings, to acknowledge our need for others' acceptance and support and care, and to change our ways. Rather than deceiving others, we can risk opening ourselves so that trust and intimacy can develop in our interpersonal relationships.

The Great Ideas are often the most simple!

Britt and Eleni, two of our Life Group leaders, have done a great job with the group they lead in terms of making sure that, though relatively new, their group is intentional about knowing each other, growing in their faith and understanding that they are meant to do study, play and serve together (they are even planning a Haiti trip at the end of 2008!). Britt emailed me this a few days ago, and I thought it was brilliant:

We've recently begun, at the end of each group time, picking names out of a hat.  Then, during the week, it is our assignment for each of us to call that person.  It's a way to do prayer requests because our group is so large (10-12 people) it is hard to do on a weekly basis (during the meeting).  We meet for two hours and we don't talk about specific prayer requests.  Anyway, the point of this was not only prayer requests, but allowing us to connect to each other in a more significant way.  And let me tell you, it has worked like I never imagined!!! Our group has really come together, it has been amazing.  I am so thankful that God has used a simple phone call to do such an amazing thing!

The Paradox of Community...Part I

Why church members often run from community despite their attraction to it.
by Thomas G. Kirkpatrick

In a book called The Different Drum, M. Scott Peck suggests that while we want intimacy, we often run from it. Perplexing, isn't it? We want to be honest and open, but we are not willing to risk being ourselves in a group of sisters and brothers.

As an example, let's say that Greg is upset over his teenager's recent experimentation with smoking pot. He wants help to sort out his feelings but is reluctant to say so. Brandy notices Greg's ambivalence when he tells the group he had a "routine week." But when Brandy inquires, "You sure you feel okay today, Greg? You seem a little down to me," Greg answers, "No, everything is going fine, really!" Unable to be honest, Greg fools only himself and agonizes in his own silent world.

If and when we are honest with ourselves, we know we need other people. While the rugged individualism of our time surely runs counter to this reality, there are additional issues that we often overlook. Here are four factors that influence our paradoxical need for, and fear of, community.

The Issue of Confidentiality

Lack of trust—or the issue of confidentiality—is one factor that helps us explain this push/pull paradox. Fear of exposure can prevent people, particularly those who live in small towns and rural areas, from joining koinonia groups in the first place. Grapevine communication is so pervasive in many small communities and rural areas that people guard themselves against revealing personal information with virtually anyone. Why should we in the church expect to be any different from the community at large in risking self-disclosure?

Overcoming such a deeply ingrained and often well-founded fear is not an easy accomplishment for planners of community. Assurance of confidentiality is needed before many will even consider joining a small group, and it is a ground rule that groups should adopt and follow right from the start. Even so, it may take a long time and considerable evidence that trust is warranted before many church members choose to risk self-disclosure.

The Trouble With Jesus- Discussion Guide I

For the next four weeks we will be exploring a few of Jesus' views and behaviors that we, His followers, are called to emulate. If you have been a follower for any length of time, then you have likely come to the conclusion that this isn't something you figure out or achieve in a series of steps. There are new realizations and new degrees of difficulty at every turn. Jesus seems to invite us into a life that's in many ways so contrary to the one we've lived, that it can be years before we see transformation in certain areas of our life. Some people may have an easier time than others, but none of us would say that following Jesus is simple. Like an infinite puzzle, we never seem to fully arrive at the life He invites us into. And yet, there is something so beautiful about the life He offers, that we can't put it down.

________________________________________________

The Trouble With Jesus: Jesus Hid- Discussion Part I

Leader note:

Before you even consider doing these discussion questions, you may want to consider a different kind of group meeting altogether. You may find that merely talking about rest and rhythm would be counterintuitive- you may need to just do it! If you have a sense for where your group is, and you feel like it's not too early to have a deeper (to the point of a little discomfort for some) time of growth together, you may want to just provide some selected passages, blank paper and pens and just let your group members be for 30-45 minutes. Though you may initially feel like you want to drill down in discussion on the idea of rest and rhythm, nothing quite teaches it like experiencing it. Don't worry about feeling as though you're wasting their time.This may be exactly the kind of environment God wants to create, and that they need. 

Thaw

• Was there anything from the message Sunday that really resonated with any of you?
  
• When do you feel refreshed?
  

Read

Mark 1:21-37

Leader note: Note that this is all one day in the life of Jesus. As this text is read, help your group see the mounting pressure that Mark presents in just the first chapter of his gospel. Note the "news spreading", the increased amount of requests on His time. He is feeling the weight of responsibility from friends who could be called his co-workers, their family, demons, the sick, crowds from all over town.

• Verse 37 presents Jesus being told "Everyone is looking for You". Did Jesus know this when He went out? 
  
• How would you describe the noise and commotion of Jesus' day?
• How would you describe the stress level for Jesus?
• What would you say about the rhythm in Jesus' life?
  

Leader note: It makes sense that Jesus had gone to bed before the work in that town was done- that's why there were people looking for Him the next morning. You can imagine then that at one point Jesus walked away and went to bed, while there were still sick, possessed and needy people still waiting. When He woke up, He didn't just get right back to it! He went and hid with the Father, leaving work undone.

• Considering the importance of Jesus, and His short time to do what the Father had for Him to do, do you think it's strange that Jesus made Himself unavailable? Why or why not?
  
• Does it become strange if you know that He made Himself unavailable everyday? Why or why not?
  
• What prevents His followers (us) from finding and even fighting for this same rhythm?
  

Apply

• When are you unavailable?
  
• When do you shut off stimulation?
  
• How do you feel when you shut off the noise and distraction of life: cell phone, email, tv, internet, number crunching, planning, organization, preparation, negotiation?

Leader note: Help the group be honest! Many people can't shut off because of fear; fear that something will be missed, fear that someone (employer, clients, family) will be disappointed. There is also a very real-life addiction that takes place for some; there's an addiction to stimulus, to engaging their work or their busy-ness. Not doing is the same as not living, as they have subtly taught themselves through the years that what they produce in a given day is directly connected to their worth.

• What can the group do to help you create daily space for detaching from all the typical stimuli to be with the Father?
  
• What would it take for your household to have one day a week where you were unavailable to those with demands on your life?

Leader note: Be sure and end in silence, allowing extended time for people to experience quiet before God.

Additional Texts

• Gen 2:1-3
  
• Mark 6:30-46
  
• Mark 2:26-28