OOPS! (It's a wonderful LI E part II)

Sorry leaders. You can guess what my excuse is for the lack of message specific LifeGroup questions this week. I'll spare you all that (though I will say it's great to be back in NC!!!) and provide you with the generic questions that are good for creating discussion after a message, to discuss a book or video, etc... These questions are always located at the bottom right on the Group Leader site, titled "General Discussion Makers". You may want to add to this particular study a meditation on Philippians 4 and Matthew 12:34, as well as other proverbs about the heart and its contents.

What were the key points for you?

What was the "one thing" you took away?

What surprised you?

What bothered you? Why?

Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?

What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?

What did you learn that was new to you?

*About God?

*About yourself?

*About others?

What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?

What changes of action are needed?

How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?

What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

What role can this group lay to help you take steps this week and beyond?

IT'S A WONDERFUL LI E week 1

Most of us can point to a day when we "first trusted God" or "first placed our faith in Him". And though all of us would quickly admit that we're far from perfect, if someone were to really look at our life, our decisions and how we actually go about the business of living the existence God gave us, it would seem we didn't believe there was a God at all.

What or Who we say we hope in actually has been given little weight if any. Its as Jeremiah said, God is near our lips but far from our hearts. And with this lie we've told ourselves, there is no a life God did not intend, full of turmoil, anxiety and weariness...and very much lacking the peace He offers.

Through Christmas, we'll be discussing how this fallacy is living itself out in our day-to-day, and the hope that we have in God's grace and redirection. How the information we have can be actually turned into a radically new way of living....not just a radical thing we believe. As the series opens in week one, we begin by grounding ourselves in trust and dependence on God, in a very real, lived out sense. Invite your group into the deeper waters of trust beyond an idea, and into a daily lived reality. You may note that some of the content in the beginning of the message was taken from Day 5 of the Leader Journal "While Shepherds Watch Their Flock".

Thaw

• Looking back at your life, what's an example of doing something foolishly because you were intent on doing it your own way?
• Why did you feel you had to do it your way?

Leader note: see if any stories shared have the common denominator of self-protection or the advancement of a selfish agenda, verses the "others-centered love" of God.

• What stuck with you the most from the message Sunday?
• What was a new insight that God gave you during or after the message?

Read

• Matthew 6:25-34
• Thoughts?
• How does this apply today?
• Is Jesus being realistic? why or why not?
• What does it look like to take this too far?
• What does it look like when you don't take this far enough?

Read

• 1 Corinthians 2:1-5
• Thoughts?
• Why is it so important for Paul to put a disclaimer in his letter to Corinth?

Leader note: Help your group come to realize that he is teaching dependence on God and not himself. You may want to intersperse John 3:27-30 here as well to see John the Baptists perspective of him carrying out his role, yet within the dependent boundaries of his faith in the Christ.

Discuss

• Why is living life God's way so difficult?
• What are specific ways that it sometimes seems impossible?

Leader note: push gently here, but allow the members to share what they are up against with God and His way. It could be difficulty, stubbornness, lack of Biblical insight, religious baggage or something else. Allow the group to speak to it insofar as they speak on the way of God. This is a perfect opportunity for people to say "your way didn't didn't work? Try it my way!" This is obviously not the goal either. You will find that throughout your meeting, you will be pointing to the scriptures more and more as the chief source of wisdom. Lift them up as the arrow that points to Christ and His Spirit, as the Bible was never intended to have the last word. Dependence on the present Spirit of God is the goal!

Read

• Proverbs 3:1-6
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Biblically, it is considered wise to live in the ways of God and heed His instruction. How do we get wisdom into our hearts?
• What are some specific examples of how our culture at large contradicts the wisdom of daily trust in God?

Leader note: examples might be how we create and maintain friendships, how we see members of the opposite sex, how we see and spend money, what we do with anger and frustration , etc... Our culture is very much unconcerned with God's wisdom, but living out whatever feels right or looks good. This sounds on the surface like an issue for teen ministry...but it doesn't ever go away with age. find a way to confront it.

Apply

• How can we begin to live in dependence on the way of God in specific areas of our life?
• How can this group be part of that effort?
• What are the hang-ups in our day-to-day existence that will cause problems with living in the sacred choreography?
• What are we able and willing to do about these once and for all?

Chew

• As a group, spend some time and read silently through Proverbs chapter 3 and 4. Make notes, write down questions and copy down passages that stand out on separate sheets of paper to ponder for the remainder of the week.

• Discuss this reading as you see fit at the close of your meeting. Be sure and spend some time in prayer with God that what has been discuss can become an actual, lived way of increased dependence on the Spirit of Christ every day.

N&O Highlights LifeGroup

Great job to Pin Pin and her LifeGroup for making "love" a verb, and the name of Jesus known!

http://www.newsobserver.com/news/local_state/story/194414.html

Steve

Drive. Park?

Hey leaders,

many of you have been on the journey Drive took us on from the very beginning. Many others of you came later, but were no less impacted by our community getting intentional about where we felt like God was/is taking us.

If its a fit for your group's discussion, go over what most inspired you from Sunday morning. There were many elements of the experience to stir the thoughts and point us both backward and forward. Discuss what's next for your group as you take the mission of Crosspointe forward. What can you as a group do on Sunday mornings to enhance our environment? What could your involvement look like at the Durham Rescue Mission in the short and long term? Financially, how can the group each take a step into further trust God and fund the mission? Can your group go to Haiti- perhaps Kenya? Perhaps just a few members go, and the rest of the group support and encourage the effort? Have others gone in the last three years and do they have anything to share with the rest of the group? Be creative and find out how your group can step even more into the dream God has for us.

There are many things to discuss. As leaders, the bottom line is that we have to do the work of aligning our members with the flow that God has created, and revealed to us largely through Drive. It's shepherding (sheep-herding) 101: gently corralling each member of the herd in the direction they need to go. We're all doing it each week. Thank you for making that happen!

Steve

November 8

I hope you have had a chance to discuss what some in your group may have decided last Sunday with regard to saying "yes" to Jesus in some way. You group will serve as the main environment that that yes gets encouraged and carried out.

We would love to hear some stories about all that, so while maintaining an appropriate amount of confidentiality, please share what you can about your members' growth in the last few weeks and what that means.

Additionally, make sure your plan for meeting is absolutely clear through the end of the year. Thanksgiving dinner? Serving together? Holiday travel? Christmas plans? New Year's? Get out your calendars and make sure you're all on the same page so the year doesn't fizzle out.

____________________________________________________

This week's stand-alone message is positioned at the perfect time, as we determine what we mean when we say yes to Jesus, as well as try and meet all the other expectations that mount from this point on, through the end of the year. As the leader, try and hep your group understand how this issue is largely performance-based, and that understanding a life lived free of false expectations is a life lived in peace.

You may want to recommend this book for members that want to take these valuable ideas further for themselves and their family.

Thaw

• What would be the ramifications of you sitting on the couch all this whole week, getting up only to eat and use the bathroom?
• What is the difference between fulfilling healthy responsibilities, and trying to meet unhealthy expectations?
• What stuck with you most from the message this week?
• Do you feel like there is an area that God wants you to focus on specifically, or perhaps a general sense of expectation that hangs over you? Share.

Read

• Luke 10:38-42
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Help the group identify that this passage isn't a depiction of good vs evil. So often we think that's the theme of scripture; but here Jesus points out a good vs. better.

• How did Martha's pressure get passed on to her sister?
• How would this have gone if the guest were someone other than Jesus?

Leader note: The point here is that it's likely Mary would have been dubber "lazy", or somehow less a guest than Martha. Of course, a guest less than Jesus certainly changes the pressures to sit at his feet, get things ready, etc..., but this doesn't lessen the reality that Martha is subtly judging her sister for not operating under the same expectations she is apparently operating under. As a result, Martha is in the presence of Christ and is bitter, wrongly focused and enjoying little or no peace.

• Verse 38 says that the home is Martha's. How does this affect the pressure she feels to fulfill expectations?
• Knowing its her house, and her sister doesn't seem to share her values for hospitality, how could she have handled this better from the beginning?

Discuss

• How is it that the perceptions of others become an expectation?
• How do we avoid this?
• How do we turn it around if we recognize it too late.

Leader note: Make sure the group is aware of cynicism. Simply refusing to be nice, hospitable, engaged, diligent, etc. for the sake of personal "peace" is not the answer, as it is simply a pendulum swing in the opposite direction.

• What are some expectations that your family has on you that creates pressure, anger, resentment? Where do these expectations come from?
• What are cultural expectations that you feel you fall short of, also creating negativity? Where do these come from?
• Are there unhealthy expectations at work or school that you continue to be mastered by?

• How do you choose what to say yes to?
• How do you choose what to say no to?

• What can you imagine the benefits would be in being able to say yes to the right things for you, your family and your journey?

Meditation

• Spend some time thinking of your life in columns, and how expectations and pressures shape how you live in each column. You may want to break down your life into categories like family, work, recreation, etc... (having a category called "faith" or "spirituality" is unbiblical, because the collection of categories is, together, your spiritual life. It's tied to each thing we do.) For instance, you may want to have a column for "children" and ask why they are involved in what they are involved in; are you trying to not go down in their history as a disinterested parent, a disappointing mom or dad? Are they dressed the way they are to impress other parents? Do you live in guilt for not being what you think your children need, and therefore are you parenting out of guilt and hopes to not further disappoint? Do the work of sorting through some of this in various categories, and write it down. You can then begin asking where the pressures and expectations come from, and then how do you choose more wisely what you say "yes" to. God will help free you from the slavery of living under the perceived expectations (or real unhealthy ones) of others so that you can simply do what's best.

Enough 05

In this final installment of "Enough", we find that the theme is carried on fluidly, while at the same time we're thrown a curveball. What has been all about God, from his hand, out of his heart and totally outside of our sphere of influence, is not planted in our laps as something that busies us, redirects all our energies and becomes categorized as very much something WE do.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

So often (most often?), our faith is relegated to an intellectual, if even at times emotional pursuit of a historical figure that once had a few important things to say, if only we can crack the ancient code. We forget that Jesus didn't go the way of Alexander the Great or Gandhi; Jesus is still here (Matt 28:20). We're still invited to follow Jesus, not just study about him.

This week, be bold. You always are...I know. But this week, crank it up to about 11. Be bold enough to lead your group to do something outside of itself in the pursuit of Christ. The Christians need a shot in the arm. Lukewarm ones need a fire lit under their rear-ends. Non-believers need to find Jesus beyond the discussion if they're ever going to surrender. So find a way as the shepherd of your group to lead the flock past the room you meet in, metaphorically and literally, so as to help them become literal rather than metaphoric followers of the Christ. We can't wait to hear the stories of how all that goes down! (be sure and read the last paragraph ahead of time so that you can be thinking all evening how you want to direct your group to move on the discussion you'll be having.)

Thaw

• What does November bring for your family, traditionally?
• Does anyone experience changes at work when the seasons change?
• Does anyone have changes of mood when the seasons change?

• What has God taught you over the last 5 weeks through this series?
• What stuck with you most from this last message?
• Did anyone here say "yes" to something and lay a card on the stage? Don't tell us yet what it was, but describe for us what that experience was like.

Read

• Eph 2:8-10
• Thoughts?
• How does this passage change your perception of the faith?
• What have you been reminded of that you had forgotten?

• The last part is about good works. What is Paul pushing for?

Leader note: For some contextual insight into what was likely in Paul's very Jewish mind when he wrote this, read here. Also, importantly, note that the literal translation on verse 10 is "prepared beforehand so that we could walk in them". Motion, "way of life", lived-out kinds of themes are insisted upon by the text!

• The word for "workmanship" is ποίημα ("poiēma"), where we get our modern English word "poem". We are a work of art, created by the reputation of Christ, to create good works in the world that align with the reputation of Christ. How does this understanding alter your view of the passage, the faith or even your day-to-day life?

Leader note: If anyone is hung up about Paul's twist "it's not by works.....we have to DO works", spend some time discussing the difference between doing things to get God's love, or doing things because of God's love. Consider Dallas Willard's phrase:

Grace is opposed to earning, not to effort.

Read

• Matthew 9
• Thoughts?
• How would you describe all that happened in Matthew's life in this chapter?
• Who does Matthew look like to outsiders? Explain.

Leader note: Religious people would have held on to the "Tax Collector" moniker in referring to him, but to everyone else, Matthew would have been very plainly seen, by the way he oriented all his life and energies, as "one of the Jesus ones"....or a Christ-ian.

• What challenges and benefits might there be for us, in 2009, in being Jesus-followers that follow Spirit, rather than flesh and blood?

Leader note: If some in the group insist that people can't believe now, like they did then, remind your group that believers (Jews) and non-believers (Romans) alike crucified Jesus, rather than found themselves having an easy time believing. Matthew 28 ends with a resurrected Jesus being believed in and doubted within the same crowd! Seeing is not always believing. That's why we're told to "do good works", not "talk good talk"....it's on the road, walking, that we most learn to practice the presence of the Spirit of the resurrected Christ!

Apply

• How do we move from intellectual appreciation to following?
• What are the modern-day tax collectors booths that we must get up from?

Leader note: it's not always about quitting your job, though it is no less than that sometimes. Don't let the group think too narrowly about Matthew getting up from his desk.

• Why do many people hear the call of Jesus to follow him, to trust him completely, and to become part of what he is setting right in the world, and settle for less?
• What is most exciting to you about the prospect of reorienting your life around the interests of Christ?
• What is the most terrifying?
• How can this group say "yes" take one step right now toward becoming more, literal, Jesus-followers? If you said "yes on Sunday, tell us what you said yes about.

* Is there anyone willing to step into faith in Christ for the first time? How can the group help? * Are there folks who are willing to admit they have been nagged by God's Spirit about something that isn't "following"? How can we help you step into it?

*Are there people kicking around something they sense God is inviting them to do, but it comes with a cost? Share with us.

*Other thoughts in relation to following Christ?

Leader note: Watch your group. You know them better than any set of questions can- so look for ways and opportunities to challenge the group to look at your time together as a catalyst for something life-changing. God is already at work, his grace has already been poured out. Sometimes we just need to nudge to pick it up and walk (run!) with it. Commit to writing or scheduled follow up emails, coffee, phone calls on anything thats been shared by your group. There's no formal "Baptism day" scheduled anymore, so as a group, you can make it for whenever you wish. Additionally, you may seriously consider having an official conversation about your group's involvement with the Durham Rescue Mission, Haiti, Kenya, Joy in Hope (the new organization that handles Haiti and Kenya that will need an army of volunteers....I mean followers, very soon. Now that you have had this discussion, give it a direction to move toward so it doesn't end in the minds of your group members as talk. Talk is important, obviously. But for many, the time has come to give these talks feet.