Christmas Icebreakers and Games

Looking for a last minute Christmas icebreaker or game for your group this week?

Check out the following:

Christmas Icebreaker Questions such as "What Christmas tradition means most to you?" or "What is your favorite Christmas Carol?"
“Find Someone Who…” Game-- for example, find someone in your group who has seen a live reindeer.
The Wright Family Christmas gift exchange
Christmas Riddle Game with answers
Christmas Scattergories Game Card

Enjoy!

change: the Baby. Part II

Continuing the momentum of last week, this week we will talk about how something may seem to be our end, and turn out for our salvation.

Joseph was faced with decisions and realities that were based on questionable circumstances outside his control. Some of us can relate. Others of us create a mess with our own poor choices. yet God has the unique ability to turn every single set of circumstances into into beauty, given the time and trust to do so.

You may want to share communion with your group this week as you strive to discuss the deep disappointments and darkness that may follow people into your living rooms this week. Jesus came to turn despair into hope- but first we have to hand him the pieces.

Additionally, you may want to take time to read as a group the Christmas story and just talk about it. You would be surprised to find out how many Christians and non-Christians alike have never actually read the Christmas story in the Bible, due to over-familiarity or it always feeling like seasonal reading that gets read in December by the pastor.

Matthew 1:18-2:23

Luke 2:1-40

Thaw

What's something you have learned or come to understand this Christmas season that you didn't realize before?

What's something you feel like you have done to work toward building "your wall"? One brick that you have put in place?

How can the group help you set the first brick?

Leader note: Yes, this is accountability that so many of us desire but don't know how to ask for! Don't let any almost-decisions fall away with time!

What something about the message Sunday that stuck with you?

What has it made you think differently?

Read

• Revelation 21:1-5
  
• Thoughts?
  
• How does this resonate with your view of what God is going to do in the future, and how does it run contrary to what you thought was coming?

Leader note: keep in mind that the word for "new" here is kainos in Greek, which is not neos like "never existed prior". This is about refreshing something that already existed, but had worn out and needed REnovation and REdeeming. this matter in the sense of God making good and beautiful out of the worn and broken.

• Have you ever taken a craft or project that a child seemingly ruined and turned it into something good? If yes, what does it require of you to be able to do this?
  

Leader note: looking for words like creativity, and knowledge of greater options than the child could conceive of. Your wisdom and ability took what the child thought was ruined and re-spun it into something beyond her imagination!

• How does this principle apply to those who call God "Father"? 
  
• How does it apply when you can see how it could be redeemed?
  

Read

• 1 Peter 2:11-12
  
• Thoughts?

• Why does Peter call for deeds in response to other's accusations?
  
• Why is this harder to do than well formed arguments about faith?

• Think of that friend or family member that doesn't understand your journey of faith- perhaps they're even hostile. Would you think a sustained life of inspired living change their perspective? Why or why not? 
  
• How would this change you?

• What's an example of something that you thought was going to be the end of you somehow, that God got you through?

• What's an example of something you question whether or not God will be able to keep you moving through it to see it through to redemption?
  

Leader note: Take some time in prayer at the end, inviting members to tell of what it is that they think has served as an anchor in their journey of faith. What is it they feel is unforgivable, irredeemable, too broken? What is it that is so disappointing that they don't feel as though there is anything good that could come from it. Perhaps, during communion, you celebrate a God that isn't offended by our inability to see how He can make goodness come of it all. Invite Him to, over the course of weeks, months and years, to blow our minds with His ability to make all things new. Then, as a group, commit to live such good lives in front of the pagans that though they have some nasty things to say about our previous way of life, they will eventually be forced to recognize that change has indeed come.

change: the Baby. Part I

This series is about God's plan for transforming the world. Transforming humanity's hearts. Transforming our relationships and futures and reinterpreting our pasts. God looked at all He made, and wanted to change it for good, forever. So, He impregnated a seemingly obscure teenage peasant girl in 1st century Palestine, saving her and all creation through the child's death and resurrection 33 years later. Christmas isn't just a celebration of Jesus' birthday, but a reminder of how God tackled our deepest need for change.

This week is about making big decisions by first making the small ones. You may look through this study first to best decide which parts are most suitable for your group. Be sure and get to the last part of the discussion with James 4:17 and the 52-week challenge. As we build an atmosphere of accountability (which is a secondary benefit to loving relationships!) we want to make sure that we give our members a chance to be stretched.

Thaw

• What are some family Christmas traditions you grew up with?
  
• What is your most memorable Christmas?

• What made the biggest impact on you from the message on Sunday?
  
• Do you feel like God spoke about something specific to you through it?

Read

• Nehemiah 1:1-4
  
• First thoughts?
  
• What's news that you have gotten in your life that completely overwhelmed you when you first heard it?
  
• What's the value of "mourning, fasting and praying" as a first response?
  

Read 

• Nehemiah 2:17
  
• Thoughts?
  

Leader note: You may want to help the group discover that when you hear someone say, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire..." it feels like they are getting ready to rally support to rebuild it all. It doesn't seem like the next statement would be inspiring and hopeful if it only pertained to rebuilding one wall. Yet, Nehemiah feels this saves them from disgrace.

• What's the first thing you would have rebuilt? Why?

Leader note: The significance of the wall is about the identity of Israel, which had been largely lost by falling into babylonian and then Persian rule. These walls were many meters thick, and towered over the heads of onlookers. This was an obvious symbol of strength and security, both terms important to having any sort of national identity.

Read 

• Nehemiah 2:19, 4:1-3, 6:2-4, 6:9
  
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• How do you handle constant negativity in the face of something that's overwhelming to start with? 
  
• Are you ever that voice of criticism? What does it mean to be a voice of encouragement, even when you think someone else's decision is unrealistic?
  
• When you are paralyzed by the size of a decision that needs made or a step that needs taken, and the only voices you're hearing are of doubt and criticism, how do you remain tuned into God's voice?

Read 

• James 4:17
• Is there anything in your heart that you feel like God has been asking you to become, do, say or just generally dive into that you have felt completely overwhelmed by? Will you share what it is?

• How can the group help you start with just a couple bricks?

Apply!

• Nehemiah 6:15-16
  
• The wall was done is 52 days, which blew the minds of everyone watching, and pointed to a tremendous faith in God. This next year has 52 weeks. Write down what you feel like your "Wall" should look like in a year, impossible as it may seem to you know, and commit that to God. Your wall may be something to begin. Something to become. Something you have sensed God calling you toward but you have been to scared, overwhelmed or even lazy to move into it. It may be something you've always wanted to quit or remove from your life, but you can't imagine the difficulty or the consequences and so you just push it off to address another time. Take ahold of a brick this week, look to the members of your group for support and encouragement and accountability- to God for strength, and begin building. 
  

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

A Crosspointe decorating "party" is taking place this Wednesday (12/3) and Thursday (12/4). If you know of anyone in your group that is free during the day and would enjoy this type of activity, please forward this information to them. They can call Mara at 469-9111 x 227 or email her at mgroegler@crosspointe.org for more details.
Thanks so much!

While Shepherds Watch their Flocks Part One

Hello leaders/shepherds...

I hope you have had a chance to crack open the shepherding books that were distributed to all the LifeGroup Leaders. As a community of leaders, we will be referencing the book and its themes throughout the year as a way of growing and nurturing our own souls, as well as equipping ourselves to better lead environments where our group members can be cared for and nurtured. As we dive into this theme more deeply, you are each encouraged to give feedback based on your experiences, past and present, that will add to our collective growth in this critical area of caring for God's children.

If you haven't yet read Chapter 1, make sure you take 8 or 9 minutes this week to do so. You may want to read the introduction to the book as well, though we're going to dive in starting with the first chapter. 

__________________________________________

Author Tim Laniak describes the desert wilderness in a way that helps shed some light on the scriptures. As important a metaphor as the desert is throughout the Bible, we often can't feel the weight of it because our lives are so disconnected from that way of life.

"Only after settling into [the wilderness'] unhurried rhythm will you recognize its subtle, continuous changes."

Page 21

In terms of leading groups, it's important for us leaders to recognize that the people we lead default to avoiding the desert. Most of us leaders do the same. Our culture operates on the premise that pain is to be avoided as a bad thing. Though much pain can and should be avoided, I wonder often we beg God for spiritual maturity while flat refusing to step one foot into the discomfort of the wilderness.

"Our lives can become a wilderness when experiences expose our frail and tenuous existence. Episodes of bewilderment, abandonment, and inner terror reveal our soul's restless cravings and fundamental neediness. In the wilderness we can lose our bearings. Or regain them".

Page  25

Christmas is a great time for exercising our capacity for avoiding discomfort. Shopping, stressing, planning, worrying, decorating and continuous motion are the real holiday traditions for many of the people in our groups. The last thing we would want to do is actually turn all that off, wander out into the desert, and see if we can find the Baby Prince of Peace. As group leaders, however, we have to reflect on not only the need for this in the lives of people who are pursuing Jesus, but that it may only happen in the context of the groups we're leading. What other opportunities do some (most?) of our group members have? 

If groups are about life-change, and the desert wilderness is one of the main change-agents God uses in those who turn to Him....how do we create wilderness environments (shy of meeting in Arizona...) as a group? 

How do we create a hunger for the desert? 

How do we create a thirst for desperate thirst?

Maybe you have experienced things in group world, whether in an official church group or just in the context of a few friends recognizing that spiritual growth happens together, intentionally. Please share those experiences with the rest of us. And let's look at the "Christmas season" as a chance for us to not only celebrate the Son of God coming to earth, but also for His followers coming with Him into the wilderness to pray, awaken and grow.

We'll dive into Chapter 2 next week.

Steve

This Week's Message Questions

Hi leaders,
Take advantage of the "generic" questions posted that are alwys on the blog for this week's message from Steve as you plan and prepare for your group's discussion this week. We are so thankful for you and the time and effort you give to your group members and to your meetings each week. Continue to lead well.

Based on the content of the teaching/message:
What were the key points for you?
What was the "one thing" you took away?
What surprised you?
What bothered you? Why?
Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?
What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?
What did I learn that was new to you?
*About God?
*About yourself?
*About others?
What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?
What changes of action are needed?
How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?
What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

Click on this Title

Hey leaders

Just a reminder that if you ever need to go to the leader site itself (verses just the emails in your inbox that you get with each posting), just click on the title (typically in bold blue at the top) and it takes you right to it. Once there, you will find various forms, tools and resources to help you lead.

Steve

Transformed thinking. Transformed living.

This Sunday, Jonathan will walk us through a deeply significant principle that helps us better understand what it means to change. So many of us have the transformation that's being offered to us out of order and based on views Jesus did not have in mind. The results are frustratingly out of character for someone pursuing Christ, yet many of us have no idea what it is that continues to go wrong.

Thaw

• What was the most life-changing period of your life? Why?
  
• What's an example of something you thought or believed being changed very suddenly?

Read

• Romans 12:1-2
  
• Thoughts?

• Why would Paul guide his readers to be changed internally first, rather than the obvious behavioral changes that were needed?

• Why would he call this a spiritual act, or a reasonable exercise in worshiping God?

• How is this different than getting all your beliefs worked out intellectually before you act on them?

Leader note: We discuss often as a community that Jesus calls us into the journey before we get everything mentally handled. We are invited to bring our doubts, wonder and unanswered questions with us, along the way. But what Paul is talking about is actually being changed inside, paradigmatically. This may not equal answered questions and feeling of assurance. But it does equal the mental discipline of forcing yourself to see your world in accordance with who jesus is, rather than by who you used to be. This is certainly not easy at first. You have to train yourself to think this way, evaluating the old, habitual thought patterns as they arise. It is in this difficulty that we honor God. In that it's hard, it's a sacrifice. That's worship.

Read 

• Matthew 12:33-34
  
• Thoughts?
  
• What does this passage say about the importance of what we allow into our minds?
• Jesus said that if we hate or lust, we are then guilty of murder and adultery. Do you see a connection between this teaching and his words about fruit revealing the tree? What is that connection?

Discuss

• Jonathan discussed the principle of paradigms, strategies, actions and results in the message. With the paradigm that others owe you in place, what will your strategy be for dealing with people?
  
• With that strategy prepared, what actions and results will you see in your relationships?
  
• How would you define friends and enemies when you start with the "others owe me" paradigm?
  

Read

• Romans 15:7
  
• How does this shift in paradigm play itself out in strategy, actions and results?
  
• Why or why isn't this realistic in some of your more challenging relational circumstances?
  

Discuss

• What is an example of a person, or even a group of people, that you do not relate well to?
  
• Spend a minute or so and see if you can uncover what your paradigm is with this person or persons. Are you starting with them as having failed you somehow? They've disappointed you? They've caused harm? What does it mean  to change your paradigm from what they owe you (or even owe someone you love) to acceptance, forgiveness, grace and love?
  

Read

• Luke 17:12-19
  
• Thoughts?
  
• Respond as a group to this quote: "Unexpressed gratitude communicates ingratitude".

• Would you be considered a grateful person by feeling grateful alone?
  
• If this were your paradigm, describe the likely strategy, actions and results.

Leader note: It may look something like Paradigm: I think I am grateful because I feel that way. Strategy: I assume people know how I feel. Action: I don’t take the time to express it. Results: End up alienating people, communicating rejection.

Apply

• Are there other paradigms that the members of this group need to air because they feel like they are unhealthy or unrealistic, and are consistently producing bad results?
• How can this group help the individual paradigms that need renewing?
  
• Each member write down a single phrase that represents a paradigm that needs shifting. As you live out this next week, especially as you interact with family members for the holidays, see if God brings it to mind to help you allow Him internal access so that your behaviors and words (results) are better aligned with Christ.

Leader note: You may want to help by giving an example. Someone may need to write for their broken paradigm "Judgmental people deserve no patience". If they carry this into a family situation where they have judgmental family members, they are set up for Christ-unlikeness. In this case, that phrase needs to be front of mind so that when they interact with the judgmental person, they can allow God to transform them in patience, seeking to understand where their view cam from. Now they can live in the Spirit of Christ, watching peace and love and gentleness work better as a strategy than the impatience (and the ensuing holiday awkwardness) that's showed up every other year!

Christmas Eve Heads-Up!

Hi leaders

Remember when, as a kid, if you heard that Christmas Eve was a month away, it felt like you had another decade? Those were the days. Now it feels like I may not have time to shower by then. Only a month?  Yikes.

Showered or not- it's coming. And we are, hygiene issues aside, very excited about it. And so, as the absolutely mission-essential people that you are as LifeGroup leaders, and as it's the biggest visitor attended event we do, we wanted to give you a heads up about what Christmas Eve services would look like this year at Crosspointe.

We will be providing 5 identical Christmas Eve services. One on Monday, the 22nd at 7pm. Four on Wednesday, the 24th, at 1, 3, 5 and 7pm.

Like the Easter services this year, we will provide tickets ahead of time for each service. 500 for each (2,500 total). This helps us disperse the large numbers of people over all the services, helping each one not either be under-attended, or grossly over-attended (last year we found ourselves with one service spiking to well over 700 people, requiring the chaotic addition of chairs as the service was already underway.) This doesn't mean that once we have 500 ticket holding people show up, we lock the door. It's simply helps those of us already in the Crosspointe community be more intentional and on mission about which service to come to ahead of time- making it easier and more comfortable for visitors to show up whenever they choose.

We will announce this on Sunday morning, Dec 7th, making tickets available each Sunday starting then. You can discuss this with your group members to strategically plan to get tickets for the same service (if possible and desired), as well as choose to ahead of time to attend the services less likely to have visitors (such as the 7pm and 1pm on the 24th, respectively).

Finally, it will take a host of great smiles and hard workers to pull off such an important day. If your group is able to help on Monday or Wednesday in any of the first impression areas, please contact Nicole Brady at nbrady@crosspointe.org. She can also answer any of your questions as you decide.

I am so excited to see what God is going to do in people's lives with the incredible news we get to celebrate; Immanuel. I am honored to get to celebrate it with you, for the world!

Steve

Recap from DRM

This comes from a member of a LifeGroup that just went and served dinner at the Good Samaritan Inn. Great job!

The Dorr Life Group had a very meaningful “Serve Day” at the Good Samaritan Inn 11/6.  Meena did an amazing job gathering, preparing, and transporting the food for our Taco Bar.  She and Allen got to work at the GSI kitchen several hours early to cook.  So the preparations went fairly smooth.  (There was some talk about burnt rice, but never mind that.)  Many more of us showed up around 4:00 to help with desert, drinks, and heating up tortillas.  The kids were there also, to lend a helping hand, and make fun of men in hairnets.  With a full Life Group crew, dinner was served at 5:00.  We almost made it look like we had prior training on a buffet service line.
 
When the lineup was finished, well, we ate too, and had a chance to sit and chat with everyone.  We talked about kids, school, forgotten homework (woops), and the chocolate chip brownies.  Soon it was cleanup time.  Everyone pitched in and got that taken care of.  The women were pleased with Jeff and Kurt’s dishwashing abilities.
 
The kitchen staff were a pleasure to work with.  Joyce, who runs the kitchen, was so very helpful.  She had solutions for everything.  Which pan for this, which utensil for that, where can I dispose of burnt rice?  Some of the women from the home were also there to help get dinner ready, and clean up after.  We found that this is part of the program for many women at GSI, as they take an active part in the success of the overall mission.
 
Later Anastasia took us on a tour of the home, where we learned some about the daily routine there.  We've known for years the Rescue Mission was doing great work, but seeing GSI up close really adds to that appreciation.   We were happy for the opportunity to serve with these wonderful folks. 

This Sunday

Hey leaders

This Sunday we will enjoy a teaching by Andy Stanley. He does a great job (as always) with a very basic idea that a lot of people get hung up on before they give themselves to Christ, or early in their faith when they wonder if they have made the right and logical decision in the midst of so much mystery and unanswered questions.

As he recaps the previous message, he will talk about how it's about a person, The Person, more than it's about the issues, important as they may be. That's how it is with all relationships. Then, he begins to talk about the terms we set for God to win us over. As though he is going to cater to our demand s on what he must do or explain before we will submit. We need reminded that the terms are his, and that's the way we need it to be, if He's any sort of "god" at all!

Thaw

• What's something going on in your life right now that you sense may be God, and you aren't sure what you're supposed to do about it? Share it with the group.
  
• What can this group do to help you. Prayer? Ask about it from time to time? Help you investigate some hunches? Listen to you over coffee? Name it!

• What were your lasting impressions from the teaching Sunday?

Read

• Psalm 8

• First thoughts?
  
• How would you describe the attitude of the person (David) who wrote this Psalm?
  
• Why is this attitude toward God better than an attitude that demands God answer some questions?
  
• Why is it good for us to submit to God's terms, rather than Him submitting to ours?

Leader note: If you have parents in the room, ask the same question using a 3 year old and her mother, and see if that helps set the picture.

Read 

• John 8:31-32

• Who has heard "the truth will set you free" before?
  
• How is that phrase changed when you read verse 31 first?

Leader note: Help the group recognize that we don't "know" truths or have answers or get any kind of mental assurance before surrender. We get it as a result ( and perhaps decades later!) of submission to the terms of our Creator.

• Why would Jesus order it this way? 
• Why would we order it the other way, first the truth and the explanation and the answered questions and the intellectual safety- and THEN surrender and obedience?

Leader note: The latter is US in control of a predictable pattern. Yikes.

Apply

• What steps of surrender does any one in the group need to take, and how can the group support and encourage that?
  
• What's the one thing between your current spot on the journey, and where you feel God wants you to be?
  
• What are the costs (social, intellectual, physical, financial, recreational, etc...) to you acting immediately on God's terms?
  
• When will you submit to God's terms?
  

Leader note: Feel the group out before asking this one- but they may need a nudge such as this one to actually apply!

Important Update on Guides

Hello LifeGroup Leaders,

As you know, a year ago we instituted a layer of ministry in LifeGroup world called Guides. These people were put in place to create more access for our group leaders to prayerful support, as well as help for them in thinking and deciding through the week-to-week details that help keep our groups on mission. These individuals have been a great help for many of our groups and God has done some wonderful things through the interactions and relationships that have been formed.

We have, a year after of implementation and continued analysis, decided to take a different approach, and are ending the Guide ministry as it currently exists. The work of these Guides was extremely diligent and near flawless, but the structure, for our growing church, just isn't what's best for who we are.  As critical as our groups and their leadership are, we will always strive for what's best.

As the Guide Ministry is discontinued, we want to make sure that each of you leaders knows that you always have an open door with Jenny Rogers and myself to provide for your leadership needs. We look forward to being able to implement the next phase of leadership support and guidance, and will definitely keep you up to date on that. And, as always, we love getting feedback from you about how we can best serve you and come along side the important work you do week in and week out.

A very sincere thanks goes to Joey and Jeremy Hansen, Paul and Jacki Nickerson and Jan Kempe for their tireless efforts in Guiding and loving group leaders so well. They have been so great to work and dream with, and share our enthusiasm that we are going to be able to use all we've learned in the last year to take our LifeGroup ministry, and all the leaders involved, a lot further down the path God has created for our community. Thanks to each of them for laying the foundation for the next season of leadership care and development.

And thanks to you, LifeGroup leaders, for doing what you do so well.

Steve 

November Messages

Hello leaders

For those of you using the Sunday morning messages as fodder for group discussion, note that there have been slight alterations to the calendar of topics. This Sunday will be some more celebrating of what God is up to in our community in the year to come, and what's at stake. There will certainly be some good content to discuss as a community of people putting Christ and His way more at the center of their everything. Next Sunday, we will have a special teaching for which you can use the generic discussion guide in the lower right hand column of the Leader Site itself. We will close November with some thoughts on thankfulness and worship and being in awe of the life that God gives all creation. That brings us to December, where we will celebrate what it means for human beings when God becomes One.

Steve

Tuesday Night Groups...and the rest of us

Did you hear about the election thingy tomorrow?

Yeah....pretty big deal from what I understand. Supposed to go on all day...even during group time. 

In light of the fact that there is this large distraction running in the background all day tomorrow, the Tuesday night LifeGroup leaders need to help their groups focus. You might tell the group up front that you intend to put the TV on toward the end of your time together and that you can all get an election coverage update then. You may even want to email that out today so that people who are more passionate about up-to-the-minute updates (we all know they do exist!) can be assured that they can deepen their faith and friendships together, and then, as well, stay remain abreast about the next leader of the free world.

Wednesday groups, as well as all the other groups meeting in the weeks to come, remain mindful that there is much passion in this election, and you are bound to have people that are not only opinionated but, based on either outcome, also disappointed. Be sure and steer your group to engage in the political discussions with a view to the great Kingdom of God that supersedes the kingdoms of men. This isn't passivism- this is the hope to which we cling and live- regardless of who's sworn in this January!

Steve

Celebrate!!!

This Sunday is all about celebrating God and what He has done in our community over the last year. There will be some stories about what God has done and what we get to be part of because of our community's faith that He is worth our trust in everything.

If you've been with your group for a while, this would be a fantastic opportunity to share over communion what God has done and what you've experienced and learned over the last year. As you eat the bread and drink the cup as a LifeGroup, thank God for all that's been walked through, all you've become as individuals and as a community, and over all that- for His invitation through Christ's sacrifice, into His Kingdom.

If you're still in Beta, you are getting ready to covenant together. This may be a great opportunity to not only talk about the stories and challenge shared Sunday morning, but to dream ahead of what you're hoping to learn, experience and become as a LifeGroup in the year to come.

If a study time fits, you may benefit from reading and discussing Acts chapters 1 and 2, exploring how Luke describes what God had done in the recent past, how it affected the present and totally paved the future. Jesus' resurrection, charge to His followers, ascension, and the transformed community of believers that resulted, multiplied in every sense of the term as they took the story forward in themselves and the world. What are the implications for your LifeGroup, Crosspointe, and the Kingdom at large in 2008/2009? 

Your group members may not even recognize there are implications unless you discuss them and chase them down, together.

Good Reminder

It's often the basics that get left behind. This simple little article was good for me to read and be reminded that the little things are big- especially in new groups. Enjoy.

Steve

"Pay Attention to Details"

Why the little things make a big difference in your group experience.

Joel Comiskey

Here are some areas to keep an eye on as you prepare for your LifeGroup meeting.

Home Atmosphere

We get accustomed to the smells in our homes, but visitors sense them immediately. Pets, things children spill in odd places, heavy perfumes, the evening dinner, and even room deodorizers can irritate noses. You know all about your home. You like its smell. But others might not be so enthusiastic. Think about their noses.

If you have young kids, be sure to dispose of the dirty diapers before the meeting starts or take the hamper of laundry to the washing room. God wants us to be one in Christ, but don't purposely test the oneness of your group members by allowing strange smells to flood the room. Also, make sure to clean the guest bathroom before the group begins. Is there toilet paper, soap, a towel?

Temperature

The temperature in the home increases as more people are packed into a room. Members can become agitated and uncomfortable for the lack of fresh, cool air. If your people must wear heavy coats in your house, although you're in the heat of summer, you probably need to adjust the temperature. The main thing is that you're sensitive to the needs of those in the room. One expert advised that 67 degrees is an ideal temperature for home groups. Common sense is probably a better temperature gauge.

Seating Arrangement

Arrange the seating so each person can see every other person in the group. A circle is the best choice. As the leader, place your chair so that it's on the same level as the rest of those in the group—neither at the focal point nor in the background.

If your house is spacious, it's best to move the chairs into a close circle, thus occupying only a portion of the room. Large rooms may be excellent for large groups, but they kill discussion in small groups. When people are spread far apart (as is the case in large houses), it's harder to openly share thoughts and feelings.

Lighting

The lighting should be bright enough for everyone to read but low enough to feel cozy. If it's too dark, people will have a harder time reading long.  Too bright might ruin the sense of intimacy.

Refreshments

Refreshment time isn't something tacked on to small-group ministry. It's a vital part of it. The refreshment time is often the best moment to ask personal questions, enter deeper communion, or even reap the harvest.  

Most of the time, we stand around the dining room table. This gives the most freedom for people to move around, talk freely, and visit individually. On rare occasions, we'll sit down as a group at the dining room table. Eating refreshments normally lasts about 15 minutes. Afterwards, people will drift out at their own pace. It's the leader who sets the tone. If the group leader is open to it, the people may stay for more than an hour. If the leader needs a cut off time, the people will know it. Personally, I think that one hour of talking and sharing is sufficient.

Sensitive group leaders take advantage of this time to make personal contacts, greet visitors, and reconfirm previous decisions. Be proactive during this time. Don't wait until people come to you. Go to them.

Children in the Group

The ages of the children make a world of difference in how to prepare for them. If children are six or under, they'll need more activities, such as singing, games, visual aids, or videos.

Distractions

Guard against distractions. Turn off telephone ringers and mute the volume on your answering machine. Put pets in another room or outside. Turn off TV sets, radios, and computers during a meeting. Yes, our lives are busy all the time, but during the one and a half hours of the group, you should focus on the cell 100 percent. Don't answer the phone.

What about when your own children—who are supposed to be sleeping—start crying during the group? Make sure you have a strategy for taking care of them. Which of the parents will leave in the middle of the group time when one of them starts crying?

Time to Start

A common frustration among small-group leaders is getting everything started on time. It's not unusual to wait five or ten minutes past the scheduled starting time while waiting for members to arrive. In such situations, the leader must make a decision. Will the group start on time or wait for the last few members to arrive? Two simple steps can help leaders conquer this age-old problem.

                  Agree on expectations. Ask the group what they think about starting on time. This is the ideal time for the group to establish clear expectations and the importance (or unimportance) of group members arriving on time. Most likely, the group members will agree that arriving on time is important. The most critical element is agreement among group members.

                   

Begin on time. Perhaps it seems obvious that the leader should start the group on time when battling chronic lateness. However, as mentioned earlier, many leaders don't start on time because they're waiting for all the participants to arrive. Delaying the beginning of group time sends several mixed signals to group members: 1) "This meeting really doesn't start at 6:30; it starts at 6:45," 2) "It's okay if I arrive late; they won't start without me anyway," or 3) "The first 15 minutes of our meeting isn't important."

If a group leader begins on time regardless of latecomers, he or she is sending the signal that every part of the meeting is important. The leader is also making wise use of the limited time that's available for the meeting. Ultimately, if a small-group leader is in the habit of starting on time, people will arrive on time. Conversely, if a leader does not start on time, the members will arrive later and later.

reGroup reCap

Oh how time flies. Yes, it’s been 3 weeks since we had reGroup however I’d still like to share the highlights especially for those of you that were not able to attend. We do very much appreciate those leaders that made the extra effort to attend.

1-Nicole Brady, Crosspointe’s First Impressions Director, joined us to share the different ways that your group collectively and/or your group members can serve our community. Please check out volunteer opportunities on her handout and if you have any questions, please contact her at nbrady@crosspointe.org or call her at 469-9111 x 237.

2- The Blog

Have you been reading the great stories of our groups serving at the Durham Rescue mission? Thanks to all of the groups that stepped up to the challenge to serve. We have all of the Thursdays covered between now and the end of the year. Way to go leaders! As your group serves, we’d love to post your experience as well.

The Life Group Curriculum Guide has been updated on the blog so check it out for the most recent additions.

Life Group Leader Report—have you completed yours? Many thanks to all that have given us a snapshot of your group. If you have not emailed yours to us, please do so asap.

Sunday Morning Message Based Curriculum is usually posted on Thursdays however if you do not see if remember you can use the generic questions located on the lower right side of the blog to help you prepare for your group’s discussion.

3-Steve’s topic for this reGroup was "Leading Great Discussions" so check out his notes on the subject here.

4-fusion—The Life Group Leader Event is happening Friday, November 7th. Many thanks to those of you that have already RSVP. If you have not, please do so either way by Tuesday, October 28th. We are so looking forward to a special evening of celebration and appreciation of YOU!

'prayer' Part V

This week we will discuss what it means to position yourself to receive what you are requesting from God and to be part of the answer to your own prayer. Prayer is, in part, a partnership between us and God. In one extreme, we sit back and do nothing, using phrases like "just pray about it". Where it is good to have a total dependence on God and and His ability and power outside of our involvement- you rarely see people in the scripture "just praying". In the other extreme, you have people who don't bother to pray at all because self-sufficiency, however they would describe it or even spin it as spiritual, is how they operate. The underlying assumption is that God isn't involved and if things are to happen, we're going to have to do it and own it entirely. In the balance, there is a sacred partnership. A partnership between believers a a body, and that body and its Head; Jesus. See if you can discover this balance in your discussion time, and then see if you can apply this balance as a group in the months to come by leading each other to live this out.

Thaw

• What are three issues about prayer that you still would like to have talked about?
  

Leader note: Please send this list of ideas to sdaugherty@crosspointe.org, as Steve and Jonathan will be producing a podcast series that deals with more specific issues regarding prayer that you can download and listen to. Who am I praying to, Jesus or the Father? and What is fasting about? are a couple of issues we'll try and tackle.

• Would anyone like to share what God has taught them, or what they sense God has been saying in recent weeks though these series?
  
• What is something that stuck with you from Sunday?

Read 

• Acts 16:6-10
  
• Thoughts?
  

Leader note: Make sure and discuss as a group how even good, Biblical, gospel-proclaiming intentions got shut down by God. The main point is that finding an answer to what God wanted required Paul and his companions to be on the move, already within the expressed will of God. This increased their sensitivity to God's leading and cleared up what they were praying to be part of. They didn't "just pray". They remained so tuned in as they moved about within what God had already said He wanted.

Additionally, it's interesting to note that in verse 10, Luke, for the first time in his letter we now call Acts, includes the word "we". Apparently, Troas is when Luke joins the campaign. From Here, Luke is not recounting His best research into Jesus and this movement of God, but is a firsthand witness. 

• Verse 10 says that Paul "concluded" that God had called them to go to Macedonia. What's the difference between concluding or gathering what God wants, and being given a direct command?
  
• How does this passage affect how you interpret God speaking to you?
• Are you encouraged or confused by the fact that "concluding" is how Christians are often to decide what God wants and how He is answering prayer?
• Read verse 10 again. Does it seem that Paul concludes alone, or the group together?

Leader note: You may note that the conclusion is connected to the "we got ready" and "God had called us". You can imagine Paul detailing the vision, the others discussing and the group realizing together that God had spoken.

• What's the danger in trying to discern God's answers alone?
• What are the benefits of sharing your prayers and hopes with others, as well as all the weird stuff that you feel may be God's response?

Read

• Matthew 16:13-18
  
• Thoughts?
  

Discuss

• How are gates used?
  

Leader note: Gates are defensive. Jesus is calling an offensive. But be sure and keep the group centered on Jesus, and not on attack-mentality. We are to be prayerful lovers of people that are constantly moving into the world according to His mission and vision of self-sacrificial love.

• How does this view of the Church change the way you think about praying and moving throughout your life?
  
• How does this affect you view about the ease at which prayer is answered?
• Are there things you feel like you have been ineffectively praying about because you haven't been on the move and on the offensive against darkness at the same time? What specific changes need to occur with regard to how you are praying to God about these things?
• What's the biggest thing you are praying about right now? Consider that Jesus says in John 14 "you may ask Me for anything in My Name [according to my reputation and character] and I will do it." When we consider that Jesus moved constantly within God's will as He prayed, teaching us what it looks like to do the same- what do you think it looks like to pray about what's important to you "in Jesus' Name"? Describe it.
• How can the group help you move and orient yourself to pray "in Jesus' name", as Paul did in Troas? What do you need to do to be well positioned to receive what your are asking for, and to be part of what God is doing?

"Action without prayer is arrogance,

prayer without action is hypocrisy."

- Jose Zayas

More Photos Needed

We still need photos of your life group “doing life”. It’s never too late to snap some shots of your group enjoying dinner, having fun at the State Fair or doing an icebreaker during one of your meetings. Email them to me at jrogers@crosspointe.org asap.
Thanks so much!
Jenny

Post HS/College Life Group Serves at the Good Samaritan Inn

A few of us went to Costco on Wednesday morning to get all the food- let me tell you, Chelsie said it best "This is the section where they have things you didn't even know you needed." CRAZY store :) Anyway, by Wednesday night 20 lbs of sloppy joes were made and ready to go (let me tell you- 20 lbs of hamburger is A LOT). We were very blessed because Jenny sent out an email about our serving, asking if people wanted to join us or to support us financially. We started the day Tuesday with no responses and ended up getting around 250 dollars donated, plus with what our group donated hit the 350 mark. Since the meal only cost around 250 bucks, we donated the additional 100 dollars to the mission.

Thursday rolled around and we headed to Durham (ok, so I admit I was running late so we didn't get there with the food until around 4:45). We ran the huge pot of sloppy joes to the kitchen where they were promptly transferred to a big flat pan and put in the oven in hopes they would be warm enough by 5:00. We decided to serve the food family style, so we put chips, fruit, cookies and drinks on each table. The sloppy joes just wouldn't heat up, so Pam had the brilliant idea to put the sloppy joes in individual bowls to heat up. 5:15 rolled around and we still didn't think it was hot enough, but we went out with the food anyway because everyone was getting restless. (Of course everything ended up being fine and they were grateful for the food and said it was good....)

After everyone had been served and then food refilled, including requests for a peanut butter sandwich and a banana sandwich (yeah, just banana on a bun) we sat at various tables and hung out with the people at the inn. Babies were held so mothers could eat, stories were told, names were exchanged, promises to visit again were made, and everyone was smiling and laughing by the time dinner was over. Our team sprung into action again, washing dishes and cleaning the dining room. After everything was cleaned up, we headed outside to play with the kids, drawing with chalk on the sidewalk and passing out stickers for the adorable kids! Unfortunately we didn't get to hang out too long b/c the kids had to go to their tutoring that night.

All in all, I think we could say we had a great experience and will be going back again! Thanks for your support, whether financial, prayer, or joining us.

Ashley Hoffman
Co-leader

'prayer' Part IV

The Church is comprised of the people of faith in Christ. 

Biblically, people of authentic Christian faith are many things, not least of which; complainers.

The Church is comprised of people who complain.

This doesn't mean that Christians are supposed to be whiny. This means that the people who take God the most seriously are the people who know how to lament that what should/could be, isn't, and that God is the only hope (late as He may seem to be in providing this hope). As you will hopefully discover more fully in this brief study, the Bible (God's inspired, sacred text) is largely rooted in people looking into heaven and wondering out loud why God delays in bringing relief, justice, redemption and peace. A people that, though considered the faithful superstars of sacred history, want nothing more than for God to speak a syllable into their ears about the difficulty of life- to turn His face toward us and give a single glimpse of salvation.

Thaw

• What's the first thing you imagine God would say to each person in this room if He walked in through that front door?
  
• What would you say back?
  
• Why do you think God doesn't just "speak" this way?
• What's something that struck you about the message on Sunday?

Read

• Psalm 6:1-4
  
• Psalm 79:1-5
  
• Psalm 89:46-49
  
• Psalm 90:13
  
• Habakkuk 1:1-3
  
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• Does faith look differently to you when you consider that people complained to God this way?
  
• Do you feel as though you can complain to God this way about what is going on in your own life and around the planet?
  
• If no, why not? Where did you get the idea that you couldn't?

Leader note: You may have people caught up in the blasphemy and disrespect of "calling God out". See if as a group you can find the difference in the heart of those writing these texts and someone that is actually out of line. The difference may have everything to do with asking God to respond according to His character (which is a fancy way of saying "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven...") and telling God He has done something wrong (as though your will is better in some way).

• Are there ways that "predetermining God's voice" results in becoming unaware of His presence and an inability to hear Him? Explain.
  

Leader note: This is simply a way of getting people to wonder aloud whether they are receiving silence from God or if they are willfully looking elsewhere for a certain kind of interaction. This is not to say that all silence if our fault. Not at all. But often times, what we call silence is merely God speaking to us in ways that we prefer either not to hear or not to listen for. You may want to show this video to see if it helps stir this discussion up well.

• What are the implications for your faith when the church becomes people who support each other even as far as to lament together through the spiritually dry seasons and silences of God?
  
• As Jesus hung on the cross, He screamed out the first sentence to what we now call Psalm 22. How does it encourage you to find that Jesus doesn't deliver us from death, but delivers us through it- with us?

Read

• Numbers 14:11
  
• What can this group do to embrace a faith that often means authentically complaining when God's silence gets loud? 
• What can this group do to respond to God who also seems to be asking us about our failure to respond as well?
  

Leader note: Have the group spend the last few minutes reading Psalm 22, writing down thoughts as they come, listening for the voice of God to speak into whatever their circumstances are. Challenge them to not only follow along for the rest of the Prayer Journal, but to continue this simple discipline often.