Finding Beautiful, Part 4

Remember your biggest regret, or your biggest hurt, and you may find it has to do with words.

painful words spoken to you once, or for year.

Beautiful words that you longed to hear and never did.

A foolish choice that began with not having the guts to say "not me".

A wonderful opportunity passed because a few moments fear sealed your mouth, and you'll never have that chance again.

Words have the power of life.

And words have the power of death.

Use this time as a group to get serious about this big, seemingly out of control hole in our face, and the heart it's connected to. As a leader, this will be as much for you as for the members, as you may see an opportunity to, with grace and truth, step into a moment with one of the members and say what needs said. Or, you may need to restrain a talker for the first time so someone else can finally get precious words in. It can be one of the best discussions you have ever had!

Thaw

• What's one thing you have learned in this series about finding beauty that makes a difference in your life?
• What other thoughts not covered in a sermon has the series created for you?

• What was the most significant thing from the message this Sunday?
• How does it resonate with other, similar messages that God has brought to you about the power of our words?

• If you found out from trusted friends that your words were doing things you did not intend, would you see it as an attack, or as an opportunity to grow?

Read

• Genesis 1:3-4
• Thoughts?
• To this day, humans, made in the image of this Creative God, speak. And the words can be light, or more darkness. Creative beauty, or destruction. Neutral words reinforce that words mean nothing, which makes them accumulate into more destruction. With this in mind, share a time when words spoken to you were life and a time when words spoke death.

Leader note:

"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." (Proverbs 18:21, The Message)

Read

• Take the following proverbs and assign them to a member of the group. Some members may have multiple. Read the proverb out loud and discuss what this meant to the original hearers, and what, if anything else, it means today.

• Prov. 10:14
• Prov. 10:11
• Prov. 16:24
• Prov. 27:2
• Prov. 12:18
• Prov. 17:27
• Prov. 15:2
• Prov. 18:7
• Prov. 21:23

Leader note: You may note by now in the group that one or more people want to focus on words that have been said to them. Be delicate with these real wounds, but remind the group that you cannot control the words of others, and you cannot change what's already been done. The wisest path is to become the kind of person that learns from past mistakes, and doesn't feed into the mistakes of others. If the level of wounding seems significant, offer to chat more after group to see if in a smaller setting more help can be provided. If it seems significant enough to tackle it in the context of the group (as in it's insensitive to dismiss his or her issue in light of "keeping the meeting's agenda") then dive all the way in. But remain mindful that "finding beautiful" may be about words of forgiveness. In that case, once again, we're back talking about our own words as the only thing we can actually control. Forgiveness can be the only possible light in a lifetime of darkness.

Reflection (8-10 minutes)

• Read James 3:2-12 to yourself, and allow God to bring up specific circumstances that He wants you to address, as well as specific habits that you have, depending on your environment, for speaking more death and darkness than life and light.

Apply

• What are some things that can be done in the context of this group, where our words are concerned?
• What are some things that are too risky to say about ourselves, or about others in the group, that might need said right now?

Leader note: Let that one hang in the air uncomfortably long before moving on!

• What are beautiful words than need spoken outside of this group this week and how can this group help?
• What are words that need said and fear has kept you silenced, and how can this group help?

Closing quote!

"Speak only when your words are more beautiful than darkness."

Finding Beautiful, Part 3

Based on the content of the teaching/message:

What were the key points for you?

What was the "one thing" you took away?

What surprised you?

What bothered you? Why?

Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?

What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?

What did you learn that was new to you?

*About God?

*About the Bible and interpreting it?

*About yourself?

*About others?

What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?

What changes of action are needed?

How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?

What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

What role can this group play to help you take steps this week and beyond?

Finding Beautiful, Part 2.

Why do we have internal metric for what's good at all? Society dictates some of that. "Social constructs" gradually emerge in any culture, and run so deep it seems inherent.

But what if, beyond all the various definitions of goodness and beauty, there is actually a baseline. A Standard.

What if being made in the image of God gives even the most diehard atheist an internal sensor that can detect when something is beautiful in his or herself, or another?

Use this group time to go as deep as possible into what it means to look at our selves the way our creator does. Find the difference between too much attention to our own worth, and too little attention. See if, as a group, you can grow in faith by understanding the value of our own lives in the eyes of life's Maker.

Thaw

• What are some examples of beauty that you have experienced in the last week?
• What are some examples of the absence of beauty that you have experienced?
• What did you learn in either of the above?

• What most stuck with you from the message on Sunday?
• What do you sense needs to change in the way that you view yourself and others?

Read

• Psalm 139:13-14
• Thoughts?
• Why is praising God the response for acknowledging the significance of self?

Leader note: You may ask the follow up question, "why didn't the psalmist say 'I praise me/I obsess over me...because of how well I have been made...").

• Why does it matter to acknowledge our worth in our journey of faith?
• What are the effects of one that does not see their own worth?
• What are the effects of someone with a distorted view of worth?

Leader note: For the last question, there is an easy slip into entitlement and the outranking of others when "worth" and "beauty" are misunderstood.

Read

• Isaiah 49:13-16
• Thoughts?
• Is this the view of God, and God's attitude toward you, that you feel like you carry with you throughout your day? Why or why not?

Leader note: Try and help people source the actual view of God that they have. Some hold an image of Zeus or the Anglo-Saxon deity in Michaelangelo's Sistine Chapel. Dealing with the baggage we carry toward God, and realizing where we got it, can be a liberating step in faith in the actual God of the Universe. With regard to Zion in this text, those who trust God become the people of God; a "new Zion" in a way. It is not necessary to entertain this strictly in a historical sense. This is God's message to us today!

Read

• Luke 15:11-24

Leader note: You may want to warn your group that familiarity with this story can spoil things. Tell them to listen and visualize with new eyes and ears, as Jesus presents this story as helpful in understanding God and His Kingdom, and just what we're worth to him.

• Thoughts?

Apply

• This parable not only tells us what God is like, but what we're worth. How does Jesus help us understand the value of our own existence in this parable?
• How does he help us appreciate the beauty, significance and dignity of all people in this parable?

Leader note:

"Dignity"

early 13c., from O.Fr. dignite "dignity, privilege, honor," from L. dignitatem (nom. dignitas) "worthiness," from dignus "worth (n.), worthy, proper, fitting"

• What would you expect Jesus would say about your worst decisions or behaviors, now that you have gained better understanding of your own beauty in his eyes?
• When is it hardest to remember that you are precious and deeply important?

• What are ways, in the next week, that your life can be adjusted to better fit the beautiful, loved creature that you are?
• What do you suspect will be working against you?
• How can the group help outside of this discussion?

New Series: Finding Beautiful, Part 1.

What if it's possible for two people to go through life and have exactly the the same experiences, acquire all the same information, endure all the same circumstances...and what if they still had entirely different views? One, a die-hard, negative cynic. The other, full of life. In various places in the Bible we find that the key difference between someone who really lives, and one who doesn't, will be their ability to spot and embrace beauty. True beauty.

Use this study to help your group members be people who are tuned into life enough to locate the Kingdom seeping through the cracks, and to live and celebrate the best life possible before any external circumstances change.

Thaw

• What's one thing you learned (or were reminded of) about life over the summer?
• As 2010 is better than half way over, what's something you think 2010 will remembered for?
• What's the difference between the positive answers and the negative answers?

• What's something that stick with you from the message Sunday?

Read

• Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
• Thoughts?

(Let's admit, this song has already been mentioned, or crossed everybody's mind)

• How often do you consciously determine that "it is time" for new responses to life?
• How much control do we have over our response to circumstances? Explain.
• Is it naive to try and find or live out beauty in the midst difficulty? Explain.

Read

• Philippians 4:4-9
• Thoughts?
• Give examples of each of the words that Paul uses in his list.
• Give examples of the counterfeit version of what these words represent, or things we settle for.
• Why is it important to think or fixate on these kinds of things?

Read

• Philippians 1:12-14
• How does knowing Paul wrote the previous passage about rejoicing and filling our minds with beautiful things while in prison change how we hear him?

Leader note: Help the group understand that it's too simplistic to think of rejoicing as limited to those who have no challenges or obstacles to it. It's a discipline, even an act of faith, to comb through circumstances and magnify the beauty in it.

Discuss

• Some folks, in the name of spirituality, take all of this and twist it into something fake. They perform, fake a smile and stop thinking deeply about real issues, all in the name of faith and beauty. What's the difference between this person and the person Solomon and Paul are speaking of?

Apply

• What disciplines would we have to put in place to counteract habitual cynicism and a blindness to the Beautiful potential around us?

Leader note: Jonathan shares 3 disciplines; Pause and look around (keep your eyes open in nature, and in people, for goodness others might not see), share stories of beauty (we gravitate to sharing negativity and venting) and be willing to ask for help (ask others to help you see beauty and be willing to believe it)

• Who do these disciplines make you think of?
• How can this group help you grow in this area?

Leader note: You may want to step into this boldly- and create an accountability for certain members who seem to have complaining down to a science, while beauty spotting and positive perspectives elude them. This is a great opportunity to bring that up and ask how the group can help mature in the principle of Philippians 4. This isn't to create a plastic way of sharing negativity in a positive way, but to actually begin searching out goodness with as much habitual zeal as negativity.