Of Forests and Trees. Third Way

Everyday of our life is full of countless decisions. A half dozen or so in the last few moments just to get you to the point of reading this.

How do we make decisions? How do choose whether to do

this 

or 

that?

In your group discussions, see if you can find Christ as less the figure who gets us to not do one thing in favor of another, but more so one who teaches us how to think and decide what's best, what's wise and what's loving. Regardless of the options presented.

Thaw

• What process of decisions led you to NC?
• How did you choose your current home?
• What do these decisions tell the group about you if anything?

Read

• Matthew 5:38-41
• Thoughts and impressions?
• There are of course many layers of interpretation to this famous text. How does it speak to there being more than two options?

Leader note: Consider that when struck in the face the two clearest reactions to decide from would be hit back, or get away. And these are solid options. Fight or flight have gotten our species pretty far, thank God. But Jesus is teaching a middle path, a Third Way, which is predicated on understanding the context and a desire not to succumb to the evil happening to us. In this, the one hit forces the dominant hand of the assailant, the hand reserved for more esteemed things, which levels the playing field if he/she throws another punch. Jesus, in one interpretation, says here, "Don't just hit back or run away. Calmly make them treat you like an equal. Assert your and his equal humanity."

• What does this passage teach us about decision making even when things are dire?

Discuss

• About what age did your children, or you as a child, find a "do this/don't do this" world largely unrealistic?`What changed in your opinion?
• Why do we continue to look for either/or decision making even when it struggles to fit real life circumstances?

Apply

• What are some decisions you are facing and feel stuck in an either/or?
• How can the group help you think about some other ways forward?
• How do we know if we are entertaining a legitimate Third Way?

Leader note: You may find that the group needs to dig in here. Any third option is a third option, but Christ isn't trying to make our decision tree bigger when we face a crossroads. This is about recognizing that the Third Way will look like him. Try and help the group see that the Third Way will be recognized as being comprised of, among other things, 

others-centeredness, 

self-sacrifice, 

human dignity, 

generosity,

forgiveness,

peace in the face of aggression or narrowmindedness,

wisdom that will matter for generations, 

actions which don't harm others, 

vulnerability for the sake of others, 

etc. 

There may very well, in the Third Way, be less money, more difficulty, etc. But "less fun" isn't a necessary marker. Even when the Third Way scares us, the ride is a fun one in its own right. Perhaps your group could comprise a list of markers to look for when making a decision and use it as something of a litmus test when life shows up!