Better Living Through Stealing-Demas

This week, the discussion centers on a man with a mere three sentences worth of mention in all of scripture (Colossians 4:14, Philemon 24, and 2 Timothy 4:10). And yet, we can find our entire story in his life if we pay attention.

Use this guide and the principles laid out in Sundays message not for talking about Demas, but for discussing our own lives, relationships and decisions and our own penchant for retreating to ease.

Thaw

• What plans are there for the 4th of July?
• Will any of you be "going home"?

• What most stuck with you from the message this Sunday?
• Have you heard a sermon about Demas before? What was it about?

Read

• 2 Timothy 4:7-10
• Thoughts?

Leader note: It may be worth noting up front that what Demas does isn't seemingly any worse than what Peter does to Christ. Less so, if anything. Perhaps, it's not even to the level of what Paul was doing to the church when he went by "Saul", persecuting and approving of the arrest and torture and killing of Christians before his own conversion.

Read

• Luke 9:23-26
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Context! Don't let your group forget that this was said to Jewish men and women that were expecting a military messiah. To be ashamed of Jesus in the context in which he spoke was to deny him for being too soft, too loving, too forgiving, etc. This isn't directed at people that don't "evangelize enough" or fail to be a certain kind of Christian. It's aimed at anticipating Jews who aren't sure they want to give it all for a man that isn't going to help them get even with their oppressors; Rome.

• What does it mean for us to gain the world and forfeit the soul?

Leader note: "World" in this passage is "kosmos" which means all of the created order. It is not "aion" which is often translated "world" in the 2 Timothy passage earlier.

• It's easy to imagine in this in a large scale. What are the daily ways of trading the deepest parts of ourselves for something temporary?
• When we do it, why do we do it?

Discuss

• What is the difference between our selfish (self-interested, self-protective, self-preferencing, self-comforting) tendencies and what we would call "evil" in someone else?
• Are there any heroes or role-models that you can think of that were ultimately selfish?
• What are some examples of when you metaphorically went back to Thessalonica?

Leader note: the examples may be about a relationship, an acquaintance or co-worker, a marriage, an integrity issue at work, faith, patience, something physical,a discipline, etc. The idea here is a time or a recurring habit of leaving the more beautiful, more kingdom-based decisions and attitudes and behaviors and going to another, more base choice.

• What happened as a result (short term and long term)?
• Looking back, how much was a failure to know the difference between hard and impossible in play?
• When similar circumstances circle back to you in the future, how will you handle it differently?

Apply

• The two words of challenge at the end of the message sunday were about talking to the right people when you are tempted to "go back to Thessalonica", and to simply "not give up". How can this group play a further, more meaningful role along these lines?
• What kind of difficulties have you had about speaking of the challenges you face in your life, with this group?
• Are there any other members of this group that you feel like haven't really talked about there own challenges very much?

Leader note: Don't let any particular member get attacked in this question. Some people might say "Yeah, Bob never talks about his real stuff" but what is really going on is that some people are threatened by a quiet, reserved personality. It sometimes has very little to do with someone "going there" but an anxiety that comes with not hearing from someone else's heart in an amount that assures me that I know you like I am allowing you to know me. Bob may be sharing deeply by his own standards, and the first member is just nervous around such quiet confidence. Others may not feel the freedom to "go there" simply because they have never been asked to, or haven't been in your group long enough to get the sense that a risk like that would be safe. This discussion may be a first-time catalyst, so be mindful of that as the group proceeds.

• In closing, what are the circumstances, people, ideas, etc that this group can encourage you about? It may be a small, ongoing type of scenario, or it may be big decisions on the horizon that make you want to run and just take the easy road. Share with the group how they can come along side you and help you stay away from Thessalonica!

Better Living Through Stealing-Naaman

Heres a riddle, or perhaps just an annoying question:

What if it's possible that someone "far" from God but pointed toward him is closer to God than someone who is "close" to God but pointed away from him?

Attitude is as important, and perhaps even more so, to God than anything else we hold toward him.

This week is a discussion about the steps we take in a complex, messy area called faith. It's not clean and neat. It's not formulaic. And more than anything, it's God wooing each of us to himself from our very real circumstances and genuine desires. As such, faith and growth can often be something that doesn't write out well as a program or in bullet point fashion. Naaman is a great example of this, and you might suspect a member or two in your group (or people in your day-to-day life) are too.

Thaw

• What most impacted from the message Sunday?
• What specific people did you think of ?
• Did it give you a sense of peace as you think about your own "walk" or in how you think of God's view of our devotion?

Read

• 2 Kings 5
• Thoughts?
• What main point from the message Sunday do you tie to this passage?
• What wasn't covered that you feel is a lingering question?

Read

• Mark 12:28-34
• Thoughts?
• This scribe wasn't a Christian. He didn't worship Jesus. He didn't get baptized. He isn't recorded as following him from there. He isn't present at the crucifixion. He isn't mentioned at the resurrection or in the Upper Room with the others right before the Resurrected Jesus appears to them. He isn't mentioned having preached, written, prayed or sang anything that moved Jesus or His church forward. Yet Jesus affirms him as doing well and heading in the right direction. How is this similar or different that how you perceive Jesus and his discussions with people about being "one of his followers"?
• Why is it important to encourage people where they actually are?
• Why is it often harmful to encourage people from where you think they ought to be?
• Why do many of us prefer to have people in a well understood "box" where identity (especially faith issue) is concerned?
• Why are some people threatened by not knowing where other people stand, or by knowing that they stand in a very different place?

Leader note: At this point, someone may have brought up that a person could be perceived to be in danger of hell, thus the overstepping of people's readiness or acceptance to hear important truths about their life. In this case, they may feel an obligation and pressure to, without regard for "where a person is", bring them into a better understanding, into account for error and into an opportunity to decide swiftly. Discuss the Mark 12 passage as it relates to this issue, and how Jesus doesn't seem worried about the scribe, as he sees him pointed in the right direction. Then discuss what directs people toward God if they are not at all. Threat of punishment? Or the long term observation of a better life lived by those that care for them? We live in a world where people don't care much for what's "true". But they are deeply interested in what's "real". Sharing the gospel in our culture with people is more about orthopraxy than orthodoxy.

Discuss

• Is God understanding of our circumstances (immediate external, emotional, psychological, cultural, etc.) as we come to faith? What informs our answer?

Leader note: Part two of the above question should allow you, the leader, to challenge members' views of God as they've been formed by our own parents for us, by how we view our parents style of parenting us, our previous church experiences, our take on the Bible, our philosophy, stuff we've heard and didn't critique, etc...

• How do we best mimic God's attitude toward people and their growth?
• What influence can we have over people's growth and how does that affect our attitude each day?

Apply

• Who are the people in your life that need to know that, even though they may not be ready for sainthood, are pointed in the right direction?
• Who in your life is teaching you the lesson of Naaman and you didn't realize it?
• Who in this group is more Naaman than they realized, and are blessed to find out that perhpas God isn't the rigid referee they'd feared?
• What step needs to be taken toward God (hint, the answer is not ever "none")?

Better Living Through Stealing

This week, have your group come up with key words, or extensions on the words given in Sunday's message, that express recurring circumstances to grow in.

When one person shares, be sure and ask other people to interact with the story, so the group can best "steal" from each other. Come up with words based on actual events or circumstances that each member feels has been most formative, most recurring (haunting, irritating, relentless) and see what kind of agreement between the group there is.

Disappointment

Hurt

Praise

Fear

Anger

Conflict

Comfort

Joy

Use this time to not only discuss the sermon, but to find ways of growing, as well as identifying areas of growth that have gone unrecognized.

Some of the questions to ask:

• Are you more patient than you were a year ago? Why/why not? Are you more generous....kind....calm....understanding....thoughtful....forgiving....aware of people....awake to your own thoughts....?

• Are you less greedy....fearful....anxious....manipulative....pity seeking....fatalistic.....furious....needy.....?

Live Better By Stealing

One of the chief ways we grow in wisdom is by watching others. People in the past with notable lives. People in our own past that made an impression on us personally. People around us today that we are paying attention to. Much of what we call maturing, wisdom and common sense is actually gained by simply looking at another person's choices, good or bad, and the subsequent results, and stealing that information for ourselves.

Only a fool refuses to consider and learn from precedent when trying to m

ake a decision.

This series will be several weeks of character studies from major (and a few minor) players in the scriptural record, learning what they did or didn't for our own context.

In this first discussion, you may find that an appropriate encouragement to begin following Jesus will come about. Some in your group have been journeying for a

while but still haven't actually committed to anything yet. A step toward actually entrusting their lives and interests might be what they are waiting to do, but not until their leader or another in their group expresses encouragement to do so.

Be mindful of this as you discuss Judas.

Thaw

• With 2011 half over, what do you feel like you haven't done that you thought would be done by now?
• What do you think it seems as though times moves faster every year?
• What should a thoughtful person, seeking to really live life, do about this phenomenon?

• What most stayed with you from the message from Sunday?
• How have these ideas come up in your life and thinking since Sunday?

Read

• John 12:1-8
• Thoughts?

Leader note: One of the obvious dimensions of this passage is "the poor". Let the group discuss this as much as it seem necessary for your group to understand and step into this reality, but don't let this become a talk about the "the poor" or any other mere idea. It's hard to discover what's going inside our own hearts when we sit around discussing ideas that don't require us to face ourselves!

• What do you think the atmosphere was like having Lazarus at dinner?
• What's the difference between Judas' general statement of objection (to the pouring of the perfume) and going to God and expressing confusion?
• Why do you think this short story was included?

Read

• Matthew 26:14-16
• Thoughts?
• What does it mean "from then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over?"

Leader note: See if you can get the group to embrace this symbolically. Judas, from this point on, was around Jesus but was always looking to get rid of him. What are we doing when we spend time around discussions of Christ, but gravitate toward ways to not submit ourselves to him, finding justifications instead to keep him at arm's length.

• How would you define "eternal Life"?

Read

• John 17:3
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• How does one know God?
• How is this different than religion?
• How is this the same as religion?

Leader note: REALLY lead the group away from trite explanations of what a relationship or knowing God is about. Try to not use words like "all you gotta do" or "just...". Knowing God, as you have gotten to know over the years, is very difficult. All relationships are difficult, and this one is no less so in that we don't get to employ our 5 senses, or get the same kind of familiar feedback and validation that we do with even our loosest of human friends. Be sure and encourage every single thing that a group member has pointed at the things of God to help them understand they are on their way. Admit the difficulties yourself, and be sure and show respect for people in the group who seem to have an easy time, while pointing out it's not that way for everyone. Throughout the scriptures, trusting in God is described by living in his way, remaining in obedience to his commands, and loving others in genuine, others-centered humility. Love of others is the center of what it means to live out faith. Prayer, generosity, increasing sensitivity to his presence... These, too, are ways that we slowly immerse ourselves into what it means to know God and live out eternal life.

Apply

• What is the difference between being around discussions of Jesus, and actually seeking him out as master, for yourself?
• What step do you sense you are being invited to take, but that you hesitate to take?
• How can this group, or particular members of this group, be helpful as you consider moving from just seeing jesus, to being seen (being in an interactive relationship with) him?
• What would you like to do with your relationship with Jesus right now?