Color, scene six

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. (Matt 5:6)

In discussion prayer and fasting, we would do well as leaders to understand that the best thing we could do to tap into the meaning of them is to do them. Consider emailing or calling your members before group and inviting them to fast the day of your meeting. You could break the fast with the meal at group. (This is admittedly difficult for the Sunday groups, so you may want to invite them to do it the following week so you have time to communicate and plan it.)

Help your group in this study to understand that the bottom line isn't etched in a complete understanding of the disciplines, but in the observing of them. If someone were to say they wanted bigger muscles, but only ever "read up" on push ups and sit ups, they would be well informed but weak. Knowing all about muscle development and recovery, etc. would be very helpful, but at the end of the day, you have to take your questions and wonder with you to the floor and start sweating. Only in the experience will you be actually learning and developing beyond the information.

This may be a great time for you and your members to take a step into assigning prayer partners, accountability structure, prayer and fasting rhythms, a google or yahoo group for prayer and fasting reminders, etc...Take advantage of it. At the same timne, understand that some of this is just a couple steps too far. Be challenging, but remain sensitive to where each of your members are. Don't set them up for failure by asking the group to cater to the strongest in the group. Creatively move everyone a step.

Thaw

• What's something God has been challenging and teaching you about through the daily devotional guide?
• What stuck with you most from the message from Sunday?
• Anything you had never heard before?

Read

• Matthew 6:1-18
• Thoughts?
• Are you surprised to find the assumption in Jesus words about prayer and fasting? What about your past or your perceptions makes it so you are surprised?

Read

• 1 Corinthians 6:12
• Thoughts?
• What is Paul getting at here?
• How does this apply to eating? Entertainment?

Leader note: the idea that everything is permissible includes the fact that it is "permissible", thankfully, to eat! It's also permissible to have a favorite show, a hobby, etc. The idea is NOT merely "good vs. bad", but about being mastered by things other than the Master. The theme of repenting of even good things when those things begin to be distraction, works throughout the scriptures. Fasting is a way of turning from even good things for a time because even good things can take you off course if they aren't controlled.

Read

• Luke 4:1-4
• Luke 11:1-4
• Thoughts?
• Prayer and fasting were a regular part of Jesus' life, as it was an assumed and celebrated part of his earliest followers'. Why do you think some people struggle with it, or even ignore it, now?

Discuss

• What are healthy ways that we use systems, patterns and rhythms in our faith?
• What are some unhealthy ways?

Leader note: help the group determine that, beyond the general definition of "religion", meeting on Sundays, meeting fro group, helping kids and one another to remember to practice prayer, read the scriptures, serve, forgive, etc. are all ways that having patterns are healthy. When those patterns become the point, or even the metric by which we evaluate each other's faith, it has turned into something that it has often turned into in the history of faith; something bad.

• How would having fixed times of prayer and fasting be helpful for the members of this group?

Leader note: Let everyone speak into this. You may have people still uncomfortable with the idea. You may have people who have zero intentions for doing anything with these practices. Let everyone have a swing at speaking into the implementation of discipline, recognizing the disillusion some have with traditions such as these, as well as the perception that this will make them "weird".

• Respond as a group to this quote from the book"Fasting" by Scot McKnight:

Fasting along with our prayer requests is not some kind of magic bullet to ensure the answer we want. Fasting doesn't reinforce the walls of our crumbling prayers like a flying buttress, nor is it a manipulative device. We fast because a condition arises- what we are calling the sacred moment-that leads us to desire something deeply. We fast because our plea is so intense that in the midst of our sacred desire eating seems sacrilegious. A body plea occurs when the unified person gives himself or herself wholly to God to plead for something or someone....Sometimes, to quote James, the brother of Jesus, we have not because we ask not. And sometimes we have not because we don't want it bad enough (James 4:2). Fasting can be the way for the unified person to turn to God to plead with God completely.

Apply

• What could this group do in patterning times of fasting, both as a group and as individuals, to regularly discipline the body and center the whole self on the pursuit of God?
• Is someone in the group willing to lead with effort on behalf of the group to help create a workable rhythm.

Leader note: You may help, depending on how this is being received and the specific nature of your group, with ideas about weekly meal skipping, month day of fasting, Lent next year, etc. You may also want to talk to the person that handles your prayer concerns about adding a group fasting schedule to some of the prayer concerns you already have on the list. Be creative, and, again, help the group take a step into what may be a totally new and practice.

Prayer-

End in prayer to God about following the patterns and disciplines of Jesus. As Him to reveal how these simple, small, even peculiar measures have the net affect of creating growth and maturity in the biggest areas of our faith.

Ideas!

Dave and Carrie Franklin rattled off this list to their group members to help them take some steps (and even have some fun doing it) in the anonymous giving and serving department. The "Color" devotional guide suggests this kind of "doing" for Friday's theme, so help your members embrace that God is up to some cool, yet simple action kinds of things in our community right now as he shapes our hearts to look like his. Enjoy! (Thanks Dave and Carrie!)

Acts of Kindness
· Buy a meal for a young couple or family sitting next to you at a restaurant.
· Buy shoes or clothes for a family in need.
· Bake cookies for a neighbor or teacher, just because.
· Help an elderly person with yard work or grocery shopping. Many elderly people have a story or two to tell about their own baby that died many years ago.
· Visit a nursing home and bring cupcakes. Sit and visit with a few of the residents. You'd be amazed at the loving reception you will receive as many residents rarely receive visitors.
· Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter or a crisis nursery.
· Buy a new calendar for a workmate.
· Donate some grief books to the library or a local support group.
· Leave an extra large tip for your food server!
· Buy the meal for the person behind you at the fast food drive through.
· Leave a bouquet of flowers on someone’s front door step.
· Bake goodies and take them to the police station, fire station, or hospital.
· Pay a local teen to mow an elderly neighbor’s yard.
· Crochet a baby’s blanket and take it to the hospital nursery. Premature babies can always use tiny booties and caps.
· Buy a balloon bouquet and ask the nurses at the children’s hospital to deliver them to a child.
· Make a memorial donation to honor your loved one and a friend’s loved one.
· Take a box of doughnuts to an elementary school for a classroom.
· Plug someone’s parking meter.
· Adopt a street or just pick up litter in the neighborhood.
· Leave your change in the soda machine for the next person. It's a nice surprise.
· Buy coffee for the person standing behind you in line.
· Write to management at places where you get especially good service and commend them (specify names!)
· Send your child a note in his lunchbox. Remind them how special they are to you.
· Pay for a small child's candy at a convenient store.
· Pay for someone's toll and/or gas.
· Look for opportunities to open the door for someone or give up your seat for someone.
· Buy a toy for a child in the store and ask the clerk to deliver it after you’ve gone.
· Send a ‘ Thank you’ card or note ‘from a local citizen’ to the officers at your local police station. Rarely are these people ever thanked for the protection they give or the risks they take.
· Do a chore that is normally your spouse’s job.
· Send a nice card to two people you randomly select from the phone book.
· Drop coins in someone’s garden so when they are weeding they get a surprise.

Repeat as often as possible!

Curriculum.

Hi leaders,

Back on April 26th, at reGroup, we asked that you evaluate any curriculum on the curriculum list that you have gone through in study and get your notes and star-ratings in to us as soon as you could. We've only received 9 responses to date. (Thanks for those!). Please, if you haven't gotten yours in, do so this week, so that we can make this resource available for leaders looking to make as informed a decision as possible on where to take their group with regard to study. It's ministry we do for each other when we provide feedback and share our experiences. Thanks in advance for helping out.

Steve

color, scene five

This week we finally cross over into chapter 6 of the book of Matthew, where Jesus and his sermon start to move from the inner world to the outer activity. Help your members discuss how this plays out in the non-literal sense. This isn't merely a matter of a "secret santa" mentality. The heart of it gets at the kind of religiosity that requires people to not only notice, but to rate you higher on the Spirit-o-meter because of what you have done and achieved. It's gross, and it's not like Jesus.

Help your members discover all the ways our culture demands attention, accolades and a never-ending stream of behavior validation. In the Kingdom, it just doesn't (can't!) work that way, because that mentality is an emphasis on self. The Kingdom is an others-centered one, where the emphasis is always on everything but self.

Depending on both your group, and your sound system, I reckon y'all might have fun with this as an icebreaker.

The following is the basic outline for discussion-making. You can use it with any topic, video presentation, sermon, etc. The idea is to equip you, the leaders, to be able to custom-create the kind of questions your specific group needs to get them where they need to go. Use the following to help you not only make discussion, but to help you take a shot of asking other penetrating questions that get your group with its specific issues and personality chewing well!

Matthew 6:1-4

What re the key points of Jesus words for you?

What were the key points of Sunday's sermon for you?

What was the "one thing" you took away?

What surprised you?

What bothered you? Why?

Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?

What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?

What did you learn that was new to you?

*About God?

*About yourself?

*About others?

What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?

What changes of action are needed?

How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?

What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

What role can this group lay to help you take steps this week and beyond?

Specifically, Jonathan pointed out ways to break free from the exhausting cycle of trying to gain approval from others, or seeing yourself through other's eyes, based on your performance. You may want to discuss the following as application for the next week ( and beyond):

1. Admit your inner world to someone.

2. Abandon disclaimers.

3. Secretly do great things on a regular basis. (great doesn’t mean big) mat 6:3-4

4. Commit to do the right thing, not the fair thing.

5. Learn to receive well.

Summer Ideas

LifeGroup Leaders Sean and Nicole Brady shared the following list of ideas they've been kicking around for their LifeGroup this summer. Rather than merely "taking summer off", or heading into June-August with no plan that accounts for changing schedules, these are good ideas to get the creativity flowing for all of us as we seek to create a great environment for our group all summer (and all year) long. Take peek, create your own, and enjoy!

1. Movie day/afternoon/evening
2. Camping or hiking trip (It would be fun to go up to Boone hiking or to Grand Father Mountain…Mt. Mitchell, etc.)
3. Scrapbooking party
4. Day at the beach or pool
5. Swap party – bring your stuff and switch!
6. Wii night –Rock Band superstars, unite!
7. BBQ at someone’s house
8. Progressive Dinner Party – start at one person’s house and move to other people’s
9. Outlet shopping
10. Game night – we each bring a game to someone’s house
11. Dinner & a Movie
12. Overnight trip somewhere...
13. Home improvement project for someone.
14. Volunteer for the day somewhere as a team
15. Walk together or exercise class together one night a week (more of a commitment, but I need a walking partner)
16. Movie marathon at someone’s house – kids could have their own movie marathon
17. Golf game
18. Ice cream out @ Cold Stone Creamery
19. Outdoor movie night at Koka Booth Amphitheatre.

20. Others?

color, scene four

Just when you thought things would lighten, Jesus takes another swing and details another shift that must take place if we are to understand and live the Kingdom.

Spend some time reviewing the last weeks and checking in on people's faith. What are they learning? How is God speaking to them through the guide and through their time focused on one flow of thought? It's important that the members of your group feel a momentum occurring, rather than intermittent tail-kicking. This sermon from Jesus has a large scope, but seems to carry the same kinds of themes throughout. And difficult as the subject matter can be, it's all so timelessly relevant to what stands in our way in becoming people of the Kingdom that we should find ourselves becoming more hopeful as weeks pass. He really is going to radically transform each of us and the world we live in. And this week's theme, loving enemies, is just one more step into the Kingdom of love.

You may want to end the time in communion. The bread and cup are a re great symbol of peace between previously opposed parties. But God in His kindness, sent His son to redeem what seemed irredeemable. By wrapping up your time in communion, you are celebrating that true good can conquer any evil. True love can reconcile anything. And as God reconciled us to Himself by His unmerited love and favor, we are told to go and do likewise with anyone we call, in any measure, "enemy".

Thaw

• Who was your rival in high school and why?
• Looking back, were you the good guy or bad guy?
• Did you end up becoming friends with any of your enemies from school? What changed?

• What most impacted you from the message and text Sunday?
• What changes of thought and behavior do you sense God is trying to bring about in your with regard to loving your enemies and doing good in the face of evil?

Read

• Matthew 5:38-48
• Luke 6:27-38 (Luke's take on same sermon, or Jesus repeating same kind of message elsewhere)
• Thoughts?
• How do you connect the line of thought so far in Jesus' sermon on the mount?

Leader note: The idea here is to draw a line from the kind of people Jesus is inviting, into anger, lust, care for women and then enemies. Jesus seems to be trying to get us to be someone that invites those we hold grudges against because of their failures, as well as those who make life difficult on some level, all while refusing to use anyone. In other words, Jesus us teaching us to see people the same way he proved on that hillside of ragtag followers to see, love and invite people.

• What does persecution mean?
• Why is loving and forgiving persecutors important to jesus and tot he Kingdom?
• What are situations where we don't believe Jesus is being realistic, and why?

• Would you ever let someone control your heart? Why or why not?
• When you react to the actions and attitudes of others, especially where persecution, unfairness or evil are concerned, are you being controlled by them, or something else? Explain?

• When Jesus was being crucified, He asked for the forgiveness of those who mocked Him, spit on Him, cursed Him, beat Him and nailed His body to a cross. Besides "He is forgiving", what does Jesus illustrate for us by what He meant three years earlier in this passage in Matthew 5?

• Why doesn't Jesus say "ignore evil" or "ignore enemies"?

Leader note: The idea here is that by ignoring them, you're resolved that loving and forgiving them won't change them anyway. But Jesus is trying to put Kingdom hearts on display; hearts that cannot take shape by merely ignoring difficulty. This is as much for our own soul as it is for our enemies. Furthermore, it's for onlookers to see what a solid Kingdom heart looks like so that God can be seen.

Discuss

• Who were the enemies Jesus was speaking on that hillside?

Leader note: Help the group understand the layers of persecution these early followers were about to endure. They would be up against members of their own households. Then they would be up against zealous Jews who thought they were leaving the faith, verses fulfilling it in following Israel's Messiah. The there was the Jewish faith itself that would come to largely reject Jesus and the "people of His way". Then, over all of this, was Rome. Rome would come to murder Christians for being "atheists" because they would wouldn't recognize and worship Caesar as a god on earth. Form within their own homes, to being enemies with their government, to then finding enemies within and without every border they had created; and Jesus says love them and snuff out evil by doing good.

• Who are our enemies? Name them if you can.
• Why are they "our" enemies?
• Who have you grown used to dismissing or feeling persecuted by?
• Do you believe that there is any situation, relationship or circumstance between people that is irredeemable?

Meditate

• Spend some time, each member reading through these passages to themselves. Take notes and re-read any part that seems to demand extra attention.

• Romans 12:9-21
• Proverbs 24:29
• 1 Thessalonians 5:15
• 1 Peter 3:9

Apply

• How can this group help you take another step toward Christ and His heart?
• What specific circumstances would you like to detail for us that you feel is the issue about which God wants you to do something?

Leader note: Communion here, with prayer of thanks to God for reconciliation, is appropriate. Be sure and create a moment where people can see themselves as previously God's enemy. You may consider the following from Colossians 1 as you take the bread and the cup: "...God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in [Jesus], and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of^{f]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">} your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the good news." (Col 1:19-23a)

Color, scene three

This week will feel in some ways like not only part III in the series, but a sequel to last week. Jesus moves in His sermon from the issue of harbored anger and contempt to the use and abuse of others. It comes from the same sick heart according to God, and has the same outcome- people encountering hell on earth due to another's chronic selfishness. But rather than merely pronouncing judgment or launching new rules to further control behaviors- Jesus continues to invite us where we are into something and somewhere we've never imagined.

The spirit of the message may have felt in some way redundant, but make sure and capitalize on a repeat opportunity to allow Christ access to your group's heart; as a group, and as individuals. Though the message was based on content that is admittedly fired more at men than women, be sure and utilize the general thrust of the message for men and women alike, as well as the daily devotional/guide downloadable on the Crosspointe website to get your group wrestling with the topic. Additionally, you may note that some of the language of even this study sounds more uptight by comparison to the mood of most studies. That is due to the fact that where sexuality and marriage are concerned, that's how the scriptures roll. It's just too serious to take lightly.

Thaw

• Anyone have any Mother's Day stories?
• Anyone have any college graduation stories/updates?

___________________________________

• What impacted you most from the message Sunday?
• Were there any insights that you had not come across before? What were they and why do they matter?

Read

• Proverbs 4:23
• Jeremiah 17:9-10
• Mark 2:13-17
• Thoughts?
• How do these texts altar your view of God's view of sin?
• Why is the heart so important to God?
• Why don't rules and rule keeping affect the innermost places of a person?

Leader note: In Acts chapter 1, after the resurrection and the ascension of Christ, the Apostles are replacing Judas who had hung himself. They narrow their search down to two men that fit their criteria for the job. It's recorded in 1:24 that to choose between the two, Peter prays "Lord, you know everyone's heart; show us which of these two you have chosen...". In the original Greek, Peter calls God "kardio-gnostes", or "the heart-knower". God is the heart-knower, yet isn't disgusted by what He sees. Instead, He gets to work healing the sickness He so plainly sees inside it. What a thought: God sees and knows the heart, and loves/redeems/saves anyway!

Read

• Matthew 5:27-37

Leader note: You may want to divide up the reading into the sections on Adultery/lust, Divorce and oaths, asking the same kinds of questions for each section. Also note that it may be helpful and appropriate to steer some of your members to a message on divorce done May 27th 2007 (click here) that spends a lot more time on the issue of divorce specifically.

• Thoughts?
• How do you think the first men and women hearing this felt as Jesus said these words?
• How are these words similar to what He had just said about anger, resentment and contempt held for others?

Leader note: See if you can get members of your group to recognize that harbored anger towards others, and lust towards others, are both way that we treat other human beings as objects to be used and discarded, rather than loved and sacrificed for. Sending women away and having to call on realities outside your own control to bolster people's confidence in your trustworthiness are more ways that we have to control people and compensate for a corrupted heart.

• Jesus speaks of being "scandalized" by even your own hand and eyes when someone is turned into a product for consumption. But doesn't a "Thou shalt not" based on how strongly He feels about it. Why would jesus feel like what He said was stronger than a command?
• Similarly, He gives no law about divorce, but turns the attention to the condition the woman would find herself in, as well as the future husband; why this over a new command about divorce?
• Jesus does give a command on oaths, saying "don't swear at all". What would be the side-effects of someone suddenly, in obedience to Christ, refusing to say anything from "I promise" to calling on God's name and reputation to get their word to be taken seriously?

Leader note: People "swear on a stack of Bibles", tell the "honest to God truth", etc. to make their apparent historic untrustworthiness be ignored. Though Jesus does seem to give a command here, by following it, one would actually put themselves in bad spot if they have a habit of lying or not following through. It would force them to have people learn to trust their real heart, and they would have to be willing to put up with a long process of building their reputation up to the point where when he or she spoke, people knew it would happen just like he or she said without all the extra language is used to take to sell them. You may also add that, throughout history, people have sometimes taken this literally and refused to make vows in their own weddings or swear oaths in court. This is the point missed, most likely. The idea is that you have a reputation for having a trustworthy heart in all (mostly daily) matters. In a marriage ceremony, it is often a beautiful thing to affirm vows in such a high commitment. You wouldn't mean it less if you just said "I do". It's that marriage vows invite God and witnesses as accountability and assistance into this, the highest human relationship. As for being "sworn in"...it's for show anyway if you think about it; sick hearts can swear an oath and still lie. And if they catch you, they don't go to work on your heart. You'll be stuck with a perjury charge. This type of swearing is not for the swearer, but for the upholding and safeguarding of human law.

Discuss

• What is working against us as we take Jesus' words seriously?
• Why is what Jesus saying so difficult?

Leader note: As leader, do not let go of this thought: If we can follow Jesus' words here by "trying harder", then Jesus has simply given a new righteousness code that does NOT require His own Spirit and presence. And that would be completely against His own purpose of being part of our lives and taking up residence in our hearts. Don't let your group leave thinking that this is a "know better=do better" issue for Jesus. Only Christ's heart can cure ours. Our will power is powerless. Those that refuse to follow Christ cannot love others the way He is explaining, because the heart is too broken to do it. It needs saved. Rather than this being another religious exclusivity- it's the sum of Christ's beautiful invitation to all gathered to listen to his Kingdom message.

• Is there anyone in the group that feels like they want to take a step in trusting Christ, in order to allow Him to create a heart of love within them?
• How can this group come along side you in the days and weeks and months to come as you surrender your heart to Him?
• What steps are you taking in the short term? Long term?
• Does anyone feel like their are parts of their day-to-day to existence that drive out Christ's heart for people?

Leader note: Some people are required to use sales tactics that demean people. Some people work for companies that use women's bodies to sell things or ideas. Some people work in environments where marriage is cheap and the office flirting (and more) is completely anti-Kingdom. You may want to devote some time to allowing your members to evaluate out loud what they can do to better honor and love in their contexts. Some may feel judgmental in doing this ( and some may become judgmental in doing this!), but that's not the goal. The goal is to deal decisively and boldly with anything that treats others like objects to consume or use. Let them be "scandalized" the way Christ is, not the way a religious prude would be.

Prayer

Spend some time in prayer over the hearts of the members, and the heart of the group. What if we could become the kind of people that have hearts being purified and mended to the extent that the closer you looked into them, the more of God's love could be seen. That our innermost being would shape how we saw others, men and women alike, as well as how people saw us. Pray this over your group, as the Holy Spirit dreams exactly this for everyone of his children.

Color, scene two

This week's message is about anger ( as is the daily meditation guide downloadable from the Crosspointe website, message section, as well as along side the podcast via iTunes).

For Jesus, many of the themes in His sermon on the hill have similar themes. Anger, judgment, anxiety. They all touch on a life lived in fear of others, vs the Kingdom life that loves others with the same "others-centeredness" He offers.

Be mindful that judgment, anxiety and more are yet to come as you begin to do the work as a group of trying to find more ways of letting love win out.

You may also want to have fun by starting with this classic 80's style Anger-Management therapy:

Thaw

• What's something you feel God has been teaching you in recent weeks?

Leader note: this isn't specifically tied to the message on Sunday, but is a great question to ask often in general because it a) leads to good discussion about what God is doing and b) builds a value in the groups mind that they should be looking for what God is doing in their life, since the question comes up so often. Remember, questions reveal and reinforce values!

• What do you feel like God is challenging you to do that this group needs to know about for the sake of encouragement, challenge, prayer and accountability?

• What's something from Sunday's message that really stuck with you?
• What's do you feel like God has been telling you through that message, and through the daily devotional guide?

Read

• Matthew 5:17-26
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Some key parts of Jesus' teaching need some background. First, the phrase "angry without his brother without" cause didn't originally have the "without cause" part. This was later added as a way of trying to make sense of a seemingly unbearably strict teaching by Jesus. But that creates confusion about when it's okay to hold someone in contempt. It creates an argument about "just cause". Jesus is speaking to something deeper. Second, "Raca" is an Aramaic term that Matthew doesn't translate. He must assume his readers know the term. It seems to best translate to "empty head", but is also thought to be the guttural sound of clearing the throat before you spit, as in spit in the face of whom you are angry. Third, not that it's brothers in the first two cases, while it suddenly broadens to "you fool" being spoken to anyone. Jesus isn't just trying to mend family issues. He's forbidding this attitude toward anyone. How often do we tear down people from afar, as they play a televised sport, speak politically in a press conference, or cut us off in traffic? We don't know them, yet we vent our anger on them.

• What key words and thoughts stand out to you?
• What from the message is most brought to mind?

• Why would Jesus start with such an intense topic as anger, seeing how He'd just been clear that He was inviting people from different places in their faith and maturity to follow Him?

Read

• Mark 3:1-6
• Thoughts
• How would you describe what Jesus does with His anger?
• Does His frustration create ugliness for anyone, and what can we learn from Him about the role anger can play?

Read

• Galatians 5:22-23
• Thoughts?
• How are these words contrary to living with the "low boil" of anger, disappointment and contempt?
• Agree or Disagree: sin can be defined as when a value, like one of these 9 words in Galatians 5, is ignored because of something that angers, disappoints or upsets me. Explain your answer.

Leader note: see if you can get your group to discover that, for His teaching that the whole of God's Law and will is summed in loving Him and others (Matt 22:35-40), withheld love is sin. Help the group get that anger is too often used as a self-preserving, self-preferring, self-establishing reality. It's the love of self. And those things have a way of putting others in subjection to you, which isn't self-sacrificial love, of loving others the way you love yourself. Anger towards others is most often a refusal to love like Jesus.

Discuss

• What exercises from the message do you remember sounding like a something you should employ?

Leader note: counting to 6 or 7 is all the brain needs often times to reset itself and begin thinking with higher reasoning again, after being highjacked by the "fight or flight" reaction of the lower brain that comes on the heals of being angry, scared, etc... Praying this prayer:

"God, I am seeing and hearing this person as an obstacle, help me see and hear them as the object of your love"

is a great way to get your brain turned back on, as well as asking for Gods help to love like Him, versus letting anger get a selfish foothold.

• How can this group help you with pausing, praying, forgiving and asking for forgiveness, so as to do the difficult work of destroying all the barriers that exist between you and others?
• What are we up against in this culture that operates contrary to Jesus' teaching on anger?
• What changes of thought and behavior need to happen immediately if we're to have a chance of growing into the kind of love and peace that Jesus is leading us into?
• What are things that we need to remain angry about? What's the difference between this and other issues that we need to let go?

Meditation

• Spend 5-10 minutes reflecting on the following proverbs ( you may want to write your thoughts during this time), and then end your group time in prayer, confession and openness to the steps God wants each member to take with the group, and beyond.

“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14:29)

“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11)

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 29:15)

“A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” (Proverbs 29:18)