Above Ground 5 Patience

"All men commend patience, although few are willing to practice it."

Thomas Kempis

If we get this one, all kinds of growth becomes available to us! But we're not going to have much help by watching most of the people in our lives. Let us not rush or merely mimic a counterfeit version of patience to try only to get an instant version of it. . .

Thaw

• Who comes to mind when you think of patience?
• Why?
• Describe a time when you saw them putting patience to work?
• How is/was this different from how you would shave responded?
• Why?
• What most stuck with you from Sunday?

Read

• Proverbs 19:11
• Proverbs 14:29
• Proverbs 15:18
• Proverbs 16:32
• Ecclesiastes 7:9
• Thoughts?

• Why is patience so valuable?
• Does our culture value it? Explain?
• Can people make a living in your field of work (past or present) by being known foremost as patient?
• Explain.

Read

• Ephesians 4:1-3
• Thoughts?
• Why do you imagine patience, or its lack, was an issue in the early church?

Leader note: Help the group imagine the difficulties of the rely church. Much like today in many respects, very different i others: extreme differences in opinion on doctrinal issues. Persecution from Jews, Romans, family. Class struggles, where rich people were still assuming the hierarchy of human worth was intact, even within the church body. And then famine, disease, violence, injustice and everything that plagued people, regardless of belief system. Help the group imagine a new body of people that's known for complete humility and patience with people, despite the difficulties of life in every way.

Discuss

• What is a recent example of your will being blocked, and anger being the result?
• How could moving your will (as in considering the person or people that blocked your will as now the object of your love, rather than objects in your way) have changed things?
• How does planning ahead help?

Leader note: Help the group think about ways to assume the testing of patience is coming. When kids go to bed, they WILL get back up. How will we act? When our manager makes the much anticipated announcement, it likely WILL be good news only for some because of his/her lack of perspective. How will we respond and will we pride ourselves at being a hard worker, or derider of leadership? When you're running late, everyone else WILL seem against you being on time, but that's only real in your own head. Will you cuss traffic, let your blood boil or keep your mind clear and get to where you're going, like everyone else on the road? Planning and anticipating ways that your will may be thwarted, widens your will and makes you infinitely harder to upset!

Apply

• On a scale of one to ten (ten being nuclear and one being frozen) rate your degree anger, agitation and anxiety in any given moment. Keep this number to your self.
• On the same scale, rate the person closest to you.
• Share the numbers, and see what you can learn about how you perceive yourself and others where a sense of being angry is concerned.
• What does this tell you about patience, and its "community" value?

Leader note: You may have people that feel defensive about the results they hear. Peacefully, gently, remind them that they have just been given a gift. There's no need to argue another's perception. Take it as information you couldn't possibly have about yourself and see what we can learn about it. Fruit of the Spirit!. . .A a fruit tree, it's no use arguing that the oranges you are creating were supposed to be regarded as pears. Feedback on how others perceive you simply helps bridge the gap between how we think we are taken, and how we actually come across.

• What are three areas that you need patience?
• How does the practice or "lengthening the wing", and changing your view of what you want and who's in the way help in these ares?
• Are you willing to give it the next 2, 5 or 10 years to grow?
• How can this group help get you on the path?

Above Ground 4 Peace

"When the restless activity of your mind slows down, when your thoughts stop rushing like waves on a windy day, then you will start getting glimpses of the sweet taste of inner peace." Remez Sasson"

We all want peace. Problem is, we're frantically trying to get it. Grab it out of others' hands. Buy it in bulk. Steal it. Compete for it. Even kill for it.

Paul lists peace as a third word in a succession of descriptors. Building on the other two, discuss as a group what peace might look like in your life, and how it will affect the quality of your family, work, school, etc..but also others' ability to see God's Spirit at work within you.

Thaw

• What have you found yourself worrying about as 2012 is well underway?
• What expectations are you meeting, and what ones do you feel like are slipping out of reach?
• Who is someone that you know that best represents peace?
• Who is someone that least represents it?
• What has stuck with you most from Sunday morning?

Leader note: You may want to ask if the daily readings from Luke have coincided with the message at all.

Read

• Galatians 5:22-23
• Thoughts?
• Why do you think the concept of peace follows love and joy in Paul's list?
• Why does peace elude so many people of faith, even though it's such a key idea, and sure an important marker for the faith we seek to have?

Read

• Colossians 3:15
• Thoughts?
• In Colossians, we're "called" to peace. In Galatians, it's evidence of God at work. Is there any difference here. What can we infer from the different way Paul and others speak of peace?
• How do we have peace "rule" in our hearts?
• How do we maintain the the reign of peace within us?

Read

• John 14:27
• As we seek to let peace rule in our hearts, what role do our anxieties play in trying to overthrow that rule?
• Why do we have and feed our anxieties?
• Are there any of us who have stopped believing we can do anything about our anxieties? Explain.

Leader note: Make sure you step into this with the understanding that if anyone has given up dealing with their anxieties in the various columns of life, they have given up peace. And without peace, there isn't much of us primed to love and enjoy the life God has given us. Make sure you don not condemn this admission, but to ask how the group can fight for the member's reawakening to a life of peace, with or without the resolution of their problems and disappointments.

Discuss

• How are wrong or stubborn expectations taking away our peace?
• Leader note: Remember the metaphor of a prisoner being thrilled with the hotel room, while a vacationing adult would be very disappointed in it. Same room, different perspectives.
• What can we do with the expectations we continue to use on our daily lives.
• How is confusing peace with apathy happening in our lives? Share any personal examples that come to mind, and discuss how peace could be properly experienced in the story shared.

Read

• Colossians 2:13-14
• Thoughts?
• How has a lack of personal forgiveness cost you peace?
• When we feel guilt or shame, often times it is for something we could have done better, but didn't. But more often than not, guilt and shame were passed down to us from someone else, OR, we inappropriately feel guilt/shame when what we should be feeling is foolishness for our previous ignorance. How does this distinction apply to you, and how might it help in your sense of robbed peace?

Leader note: To be clear, guilt and shame apply to something intentionally done wrong. When you steal from someone, or knowingly lie, then you are designed to feel shame for that. You are, in fact , guilty of wrong. Forgiveness applies nonetheless. Most of us, however, carry guilt and shame for foolish immaturity of the past, perspectives that we adopted to survive in our families or socially, choices we made on impulse, words that flew out of mouths when we were hurting, etc. In these cases, guilt is a useless sense. We weren't being evil, we were being stupid. That's not to say that we don't need to worry about any of the consequences of that past moment, but harboring a need to be punished ( either by ourselves, by someone else or by God) is needless. We need only to mature, to wake up and to learn from our foolishness. Guilt is trying to get us in many cases to try and go back in time and attend to a justice issue that wasn't a justice issue at all. It was a maturity issue and ignorance issue. It was a moment in our less mature past. So, you may get a chance to help a member of your group to shed needless guilt (because they weren't being evil, just stupid!) and instead, to forgive their younger, impulsive selves and to grow forward.

Apply

• How is this group a source of peace/
• How is this group a place to put up your guard and not experience peace?
• What can this group do to provide its members a place to practice letting peace rule in its collective heart?
• What stands against it?
• How are bad expectations, apathy and a lack of forgiveness toward self or others realities right now, and how can others in this group address them?
• How many of you believe that to being up any interpersonal difficulties, character issues or annoyances or even the direction of your particular group "rocks the boat", and so it seems more "peaceful" just to keep your mouth shut?
• Depending on the answer to the previous questions, and the awkwardness factor in the room, discuss this. do so with love, joy and peace.

Above Ground 3 JOY

So, I'll blame sickness for the curriculum not happening Sunday.

But I'm not sure what to blame for forgetting that I forgot since then.

My apologies. I know many of you count on this as you lead. Ugh.

In order to put together something quickly, please reference the general discussion makers below, as well as noting the key texts from the message.

As a bonus, I'll include at the bottom a rendition of one of my favorite Japanese parables. Consider reading it to your group, and watch for the sense of puzzlement about what seems to be a missing conclusion.

Key texts:

• Galatians 5:18-23
• James 1:1-3
• Luke 22:39-46
• Hebrews 12:1-3

What most stuck out for you about Sunday morning?

What were the key points for you in the message?

What was the "one thing" you took away that seems applicable in your own, personal life?

Why is working to find joy harder than complaining or pushing joy away?

What did you learn:

*About God?

*About yourself?

*About others?

What changes of thought and style of relating are necessary in light of what you learned?

What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?

What role can this group play to help you take steps this week and beyond?

A man is running from a tiger that’s chasing him. He runs through the woods until he gets to the edge of a cliff. The tiger is still behind him, so he climbs down a vine. The tiger reaches the top of the cliff and paces back and forth, licking its chops. Midway down the cliff, hanging onto the vine, she sees another tiger below her, pacing back and forth, licking its chops. As she’s hanging there, two mice come out and start gnawing on the vine. She tries to shoo them away, but they won’t go.

Just then she sees, growing out of the face of the cliff in front of her, a wild berry bush. She picks from it and eats it. And she thought they were so very delicious.

Above Ground 2 LOVE

We already know that it all hangs on love. But how do we know what love is? How do we know how to participate in Love the other 167 hours we're not in church talking about it merely onceptually?

Use your group's discussion time to ratchet forward on really loving, and not just agreeing that love is the point!

Thaw

• Best Super Bowl commercial?
• How do the ads serve as commentary about our priorities?

Leader note: Some people like to talk about commercials and media as something made by "someone else". Be sure and embrace humility here, because the reasons ads and TV are what they are is a direct reflection of what we all are. When you consider the research they employ to figure out their targets and the fact that we're all in this society together, WE'RE making them, in a manner of speaking. We just hate to admit it. This kind of reality check is important in embracing humility, because if we divide ourselves in a disgusted, reactionary way, we will not be able to love people the way the Spirit is training us to love.

• What stuck with you the most from Sunday?

Read

• John 3:16
• 1 John 3:16
• Thoughts?
• "Laying down your life", or "giving your life", has the obvious connotation of dying for others. But in the broader sense, it's an attitude (such as is found in Philippians 2:5-8) of choosing to give your self-preferencing, protective ways to others. Going forward in this discussion, think about laying your life down not as taking a bullet for someone, but in the daily choice to live less guarded; free to love others as you'd previously worked to get others to love you.

Read

• John 10:11
• Thoughts?

• How do we emulate a love given even to those who, like to a sheep, can't or won't pay it back?
• What blocks us from loving like that?
• How do we make determinations about who we lay our lives down for? How do we determine who doesn't get that from us?

Read

• Leviticus 19:18, 19:33-34
• Thoughts?
• How does the context of the often quoted Great Commandment help you understand the thrust?

Leader note: Help the group see that it's not just love your neighbor. Without context, many hear "love people that you already love", which Jesus says isn't the point at all in Matthew 5:46-47. In context, the idea is that there are circumstances and people we would naturally want to put up our guard around, naturally want to work to get back from them what they took out of us, or live in anxiety around because of a past wound, or the potential for a present one. These Jesus says love as self.

Discuss

• Who are the people in your life that you are most guarded, distancing or dismissive around?
• How do your fears of difficulty, pain, punishment, or loss of something you'd prefer to have play into how you withhold love?

Read

• John 13:37-38
• What did Peter end up doing and why?

Leader note: Center on the fact that he was poised to lay down his life in even the most literal sense, but then he came under threat of persecution and/or death, ("hey, aren't you one of the disciples that were following that Jesus-guy that they arrested and are questioning inside?") and gripped his life tightly. It's also worth pointing out that the text said he wept bitterly after choosing this (when the rooster crowed, as prophesied), having caused himself more pain and grief than he'd tried to avoid.

Discuss

• How does fear of pain or discomfort affect your ability to love your parents, siblings and other immediate family members?
• How does it affect your ability to love others that see and live in the world much differently than you?
• Rather than your fear of them possibly happening, how do your current, experienced discomforts- whether they be physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, economic, etc- affect your ability to lay your life down and love?

Read

• Galatians 5:13-14
• Rather than providing another, even ultimate, way of protecting ourselves from pain and punishment, Jesus makes us free. Free from what? Free to what?

Leader note: Help the group, to the extent that they need it, understand that we are invited by The Spirit out of an obsession with self and a fearful life that presents itself as a constant consuming of the world. Slaves to fear, and a life serving them by treating others as things to glean pleasure from, or to dismiss if they won't give it to us. Jesus frees us and our clinging hands to "humbly serve one another in love."

Apply

• Who is the person or group that you think will provide you the most difficulty?
• Are there people you can imagine "taking your life back" if it proves to be unfruitful to lay it down for them? How do you think that relates to the kind of "laying down" that the scriptures depict?
• How can this group help you as you choose to lay a little bit more of yourself down to the people in the concentric circles of your life?