Above Ground 8 Gentleness

“I choose gentleness… Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself." -Max Lucado

Not until someone believes there is another kind of power will they believe that it is better to be gentle. But this invitation has been echoing in the background of history for thousands of years, all while our arguments, wars, aggression and harshness play out in the fore.

As a group, see if you can take one step toward believing that there is power is gentleness. At the same time, allow the Spirit to rewire your perceptions of God, and see if gentleness (rather than some Zeus-ian view of God) can begin to take hold.

Thaw

• What are the individual and group Easter plans?
• What's an Easter tradition that you already have in place?

• What's something that stayed with you from Sunday morning?
• Who do you think of when you think of gentleness?
• Would you say that this person is "successful" in life?

Read

• Matthew 5:5
• Proverbs 15:1
• Philippians 4:5-6
• James 3:17
• 1 Peter 3:15
• Thoughts?

Discuss

• When you think of Christian history, do you think of the word gentleness? Why do you answer the way you do?
• When you think of your own history, do you think of gentleness? Why?
• Where did you learn to be gentle, or to not be?

Read

• John 18:15-18, 25-27
• John 21:1-17
• Thoughts?

Leader note: There are many layers to these verses. Peter is depicted as thinking mostly about his own comfort, as John takes pains to say he's "warming himself by the fire" multiple times as Jesus is mistreated inside the High Priest's Palace. This warming happens beside a charcoal fire pit, in Greek known as an "anthrakia". It is in this setting that Peter, to save his own skin, denies having known Jesus three times. Later, after the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, Peter is back to fishing and doubtless feeling horrible for how things had gone. When Jesus calls out, Peter swims to shore to find an "anthrakia" for cooking part of the catch of fish. This is the second of only two times "anthrakia" is used in the Bible, as John seems to be inserting two stakes in the ground to tether the scenes in our minds. As Peter denied Christ three times, Jesus restores him three times, gently (Galatians 6:1), renewing his calling to take care of the people of God.

This helps us understand how God deals with us. Rather than screaming, distancing, condescension or an all out pouring of wrath on Peter, the lead apostle and exemplar of the christian faith, he is simply walked back through the gates of the Kingdom by Christ like a father would his toddling son. Help your group find some of this imagery, and help them to see God through this light. Perhaps even ask them how they have (or would) deal(t) with rejection, abandonment, abuse or having been failed first, and then read this account.

Discuss

• How does one's view of God shape how they treat others when things are going less than optimally?
• How does the way one has been treated in life when they performed less than optimally shape how they view God?
• When you are being aggressive, short-tempered, crass, sarcastic, condescending, or over all carrying unfair demands on other people- what are you doing to your own happiness?

Leader note: A simple thought intended here; the more demands we have on people, and the more we are fueled by anger and aggression rather than gentleness, the more we create for ourselves a world where nothing satisfies and peaces eludes.

• Why would God choose gentleness over severity? (Romans 2:4)
• How does God's penchant for gentleness with people affect his timetables for getting what needs accomplished, accomplished?
• How does being gentle with people slow things for us, and what do we do about this?

Apply

• What is a known area of life in which you lack gentleness?
• Surely, you have already tried something; thats why you could answer the last question. What new thing might God be telling you about this area typically filled with anger, desperation, sarcasm, or a general mistreatment of other souls?
• Is this group more a place of gentleness or a place of hostility? Explain, assuming the group seeks Christlikeness even though the process can be awkward and uncomfortable when it comes to questions like this!
• Rather than trying to change the group in one meeting (the way of the windstorm) acknowledge what you have learned about your group and yourselves, and allow Christ's spirit to gently blow through, adjusting it to look more and more like his Body each time you gather. Perhaps, in 90-120 days, you can come back and ask yourselves if gentleness is a word that better describes your group- more than it did in March.