Though the emphasis is on singles, understanding that God made us to be whole people that love each other, versus half (or less) people requiring each others' love to find happiness, is critically important for marrieds and singles alike. Jesus is inviting us to need each other in healthy, whole ways, (true community) but to "carry our own cross" and cease to believe that we're dependent on any other for our fulfillment.
This discussion will be much about disbelief in what's almost universally unchallenged in our society. Make sure you do the work of praying and meditating on these ideas beforehand so that you have in your mind the implications of this great shift in thinking before your group tosses it around. As you discuss this as a group and specific questions and objections arise, remember that this comes back to being remade by Christ to love, not to require or demand love. We cannot truly love and serve a person that we are trying to get love and service from.
Thaw
- If you haven't yet, briefly outline what your summer plans are so that your group can begin having clarity what the schedule will be in the months to come.
- What was a toy that you remember begging for, for some time, and then finally getting? How did you treat the toy, and how did you treat others when they encroached on the toy?
- What most stuck with you from the message Sunday?
- How have you been trying to apply it?
Read
- Galatians 6:2, 6:4-5
- Thoughts?
- Are Paul's two statements about how to handle burdens a contradiction?
- Based on this passage, what is the relationship of one person to another within the early church, where "neediness" is concerned, and how might that be different from now?
Leader note: It may be worth noting, if it becomes necessary in the discussion, that Paul never tells the Galatians to have others carry your burdens. There's no expectation on others that they must serve you. Instead, the expectation is that the each would serve others, while doing what he/she can to carry his/her own. If everyone follows this, then everybody will be supported and served.
- What is Paul talking about when he refers to the Law of Christ?
- How is this different from a position of requiring love from others?
Read
- Luke 14:25-33
- Thoughts?
- Does this passage feel positive or negative to you as you hear it? Why?
- Why would one want to be a disciple?
- Why would one not want to be?
- Does it help to define disciple not just as "follower", "apprentice" or "student" (which the word certainly means) but as "one who has stopped demanding to be loved and served, but asks who they can love and serve instead"? Why or why not?
Leader note: Jesus suddenly begins to talk about building a tower and going to war. In both cases he is referring metaphorically to preparedness. To build a tower without having considered how to fully fund it would make you a laughing stock about half way through. What was suppose to look like strength will now look weaker than if you'd not built anything at all. Same with the war bit. If you're going to go to battle, it would be good to have an awareness of what you were before you go off half cocked. Following Jesus and claiming the title "disciple" but not considering the cost to self would be foolish. Interestingly, the cost to self ends up being a bigger blessing to the self in terms of fulfillment and wholeness than not being a disciple could have ever garnered!
Discuss
- How are the people in your life potentially possessions?
possession |pəˈze sh ən| noun1 the state of having, owning, or controlling something
- Why would we want to control someone?
- What's the hidden evil in being dependent on any other person for your happiness?
- Can you be possessing/controlling someone and loving them at the same time?
Leader note: Someone might bring up a parent's relationship to a child. The argument might go that by controlling her, you love her. She's not ready to control herself, so it would be the opposite of love to not provide control. Discuss the difference between bearing someone's burden (providing for someone's needs, even an infant and her unique needs) and trying to own someone, (even a baby, to get from her the fulfillment of personal desires- needing to be needed to find personal worth). One is the healthy, interdependent relationship that's intended, the other is using another to find happiness. This correlates to being single: being a whole person that can love regardless of reciprocation, and that can understand his or her own legitimate desires for romantic companionship, but doesn't need someone to provide this in order to find happiness and a sense of having worth- this is the kind of person jesus is trying to get us all to discover that we are. A disciple is ready to love. A half person, hoping to possess another to get happiness and purpose from them, is only ready to BE loved. And, as we have seen, you cannot control and possess someone and love them like Jesus teaches us to love at the same time.
- How is our culture reinforcing the idea that love and happiness is something you must get from another?
- How might your own view of relationships, past or present, reinforce this?
- How would no longer possessing people, hoping to control the love and respect and validation that they provide you, affect you as a single person? Spouse? Son/Daughter? Parent? friend?
Additional Reading
- 1 Corinthians 7
- Gen 1:26-28
- Gen 2
No comments:
Post a Comment