The centerpiece of the ministry of Jesus is about Forgiveness. Yet there is probably as much confusion about this issue as there is any of anything else.
Use this group time to not only discover some information and insights about forgiveness, but to discover areas in each life where unforgiveness reigns. The former will help the members think about the issue intelligently, raise their families more Christianly, and better appreciate Jesus. The latter will alert them to areas where they are missing out on the Kingdom, and therefore missing out on life and life's Author.
Thaw
- Who or What is foremost on your mind today, or in recent days?
- How is Psalm 23, as you currently understand it, applicable to what's been on your mind?
- What most impacted you from Sunday's message?
- What did God bring to mind, and what are you hoping to do about it?
Read
- Romans 12:14-21
- Thoughts?
- Pick one or two people in the group for the following. Have them choose a person or a group of people in their life that have been distressing, threatening or hurtful. Using the actual name of the chosen person, insert it into this text and explore as a group what this looks like.
Leader note: This is a delicate part of the discussion that you must depend on the unifying Spirit of Christ to successfully navigate. Having someone admit it was "Alex", while another says, "Al Qaeda" (or the like) will create some very interesting mental images. Consider that, in these two examples, you would be hearing things read that sounded like...... Bless Al Qaeda who has persecuted you; bless and do not curse them.... Live in harmony with Alex. ......Do not repay Al Qaeda evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of Alex...... If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with Al Qaeda.
Remind your group, if it becomes necessary, that "Alex" isn't being blessed for whatever he did, but blessed DESPITE what he did. And that blessing is forgiveness, a neglecting of what he owes and cancellation of debt. No revenge. No "paying him back".This doesn't mean he is trusted fully, yet. This doesn't mean everything is cool and reconciled yet. This just means he will not be the object of hate, retaliation or ugliness in kind. Where Al Qaeda, or the KKK, or some other large scale enemy is concerned (remembering that these are groups of humans, not collective monsters that only serve to play the villain role in a story about us!) it is trickier because of the level of evil, nationally, that they have perpetrated. Be sure and steer the group into meaningful, healthy discussions about the difference between passivity and pursuing God honoring, Kingdom trusting peace. If you are not aware of the difference, perhaps some study and reflection ahead of time will be helpful. Many people hear only passivity when they hear people discussing finding peace and forgiveness for "national" enemies. We are within our rights to insist that King David and Paul knew national enemies far more barbaric than the likes of Al Qaeda, and still saw fit to write Psalm 23 and Romans 12 respectively.
Read
- Matt 5:43-48
- Matt 18:21-35
- Thoughts?
- What are the most beautiful aspects of these passages, and what are the most difficult, or even disagreeable parts of this passage?
- If Jesus stood in front of you right now as you described the sin that has occurred against you, and he said what he said in Matthew 5 and 18 to you, what would you say?
Discuss
- What do forgiveness and peace, bitterness, anger and fear all have to do with each other?
- What does God say about the hate that we foster towards those that have harmed us?
Leader note: Be mindful that many people will default to guilt here. But guilt isn't the answer. Life is. Help the group understand that harbored hatred is enslavement to the sinner that broke you. Hating people for the harm they have caused is simply as base reaction that Jesus wants us to graduate from, not merely feel "spiritually guilty" for.
- Respond as a group to the quote by Louis Smedes
Hate is the most self-righteousness of all emotions. We feel deliriously righteous when we hate the evil creature who viciously assaulted us. No one ever feels the pleasure of self-righteousness with such lip-smacking satisfaction as a person chewing on his own hate. This is why we love our hate, coddle it, feed it, stroke it and above all justify it. But let it settle in for a while and take over the best room in our soul, and it becomes a disagreeable guest who will not leave when our party is over.
Apply
- How can this group help you with some steps toward forgiveness, and perhaps the later steps of trust and reconciliation.
- Are there any people who haven't forgiven you that you have sought out for forgiveness, and haven't gotten it? How might the group be helpful?
Prayer
- End your group time in quiet prayer and reflection. Allow Christ to help you see the person or the people that hurt you as greater than the sum total of their sin against you. Ask Christ to help you understand their blindness to your pain, or to their hurtful ways. Ask Christ to help you see how their mind works. This request to better understand the whole context is a way of loving he or she that you had formerly called your enemy. Release your right to revenge or repay, to the extent that our Lord shows you the person you are, as well as the person that hurt you as they really are as well. This is prayer in Jesus' name.
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