I Prefer Sticks and Stones week 2

This week could be called "how to disagree like Jesus" or "ways to talk in the rare instance that your view might perhaps differ with another individual with their own way of thinking". We'll work on the title later....

Most of us equate conflict with war, and therefore see conflict as something to to win, at all costs. This week, well try and get at why disagreeing on even the most minute level can get ugly, and what's going on, at heart.

You may want to watch this, from Monty Python, as an icebreaker:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM&feature=related

Thaw

• Who had some success monitoring their speech from last week? Share.
  
• Who would say they disagree with others at work or at home often? How do those disagreement go, typically?

• What's something from the message that really stuck with you?

Read

• Psalm 19:14
  
• How could this prayer change your days?

Read

• Matthew 12:34-35
  
• What are ways we fill our hearts with evil?
  

Leader note: try and bring out all the avenues into our heart. Some people wish they didn't use foul language, but watch the Godfather Trilogy every week. That's not likely to help them in their goal of cleaning up their language and lessoning the violence they carry around inside them. Media, certain acquaintances, unhealthy memories replayed, unforgiving attitudes, un-dealt-with sin, etc...these all corrupt our innermost being.

• What are ways we fill our hearts with good?

Leader note: You may want to turn to Phil 4:7-9 to hear Paul peak directly to this. 

• How does having evil in our hearts equal regrettable speech?
  
• How do our words provoke evil in others' hearts?

Discuss

• The message detailed that there are at least 3 major views that we store or treasure within us that cause conflicts to become ugly wars. Which of these three do you see stored in some degree within yourself?:
  

You Owe Me.
I Must Win.
I Must Have Approval.

Leader note: If the group has a hard time deciding, spend a few minutes and let the group define these views in their own words.

• Can anyone give an example of how one or more of these has recently played itself out in a conflict that turned into a verbal war?
  
• What are the strategies for beginning to replace these views with views that are more like Christ's?
  
• What are we up against when trying to rid our hearts of these stored views?
  

Read (You may want to assign 4 readers)

• Eph 5:21
  
• Phil 2:3
  
• Romans 12:18
  
• Eph 4:25

• How can this group help its members get these scriptures and their values into the heart?
  
• How do you recognize ahead of time in life's fast pace whether you are operating according to texts like these, or out of the the way you used to treasure in your heart?
  

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 

James 1:19-20

Leader note: You may want to give the members of your group a few minutes at the end of your time together for some silent reflection. It would be good in this time to return to Psalm 19:14, helping peole to turn this ancient prayer into their own.

Additional Study

• Isaiah 6:1-8
  
• Proverbs 17:14
  
• Proverbs 27:5-6