Use this guide and the principles laid out in Sundays message not for talking about Demas, but for discussing our own lives, relationships and decisions and our own penchant for retreating to ease.
Thaw
- What plans are there for the 4th of July?
- Will any of you be "going home"?
- What most stuck with you from the message this Sunday?
- Have you heard a sermon about Demas before? What was it about?
Read
- 2 Timothy 4:7-10
- Thoughts?
Leader note: It may be worth noting up front that what Demas does isn't seemingly any worse than what Peter does to Christ. Less so, if anything. Perhaps, it's not even to the level of what Paul was doing to the church when he went by "Saul", persecuting and approving of the arrest and torture and killing of Christians before his own conversion.
Read
- Luke 9:23-26
- Thoughts?
Leader note: Context! Don't let your group forget that this was said to Jewish men and women that were expecting a military messiah. To be ashamed of Jesus in the context in which he spoke was to deny him for being too soft, too loving, too forgiving, etc. This isn't directed at people that don't "evangelize enough" or fail to be a certain kind of Christian. It's aimed at anticipating Jews who aren't sure they want to give it all for a man that isn't going to help them get even with their oppressors; Rome.
- What does it mean for us to gain the world and forfeit the soul?
Leader note: "World" in this passage is "kosmos" which means all of the created order. It is not "aion" which is often translated "world" in the 2 Timothy passage earlier.
- It's easy to imagine in this in a large scale. What are the daily ways of trading the deepest parts of ourselves for something temporary?
- When we do it, why do we do it?
Discuss
- What is the difference between our selfish (self-interested, self-protective, self-preferencing, self-comforting) tendencies and what we would call "evil" in someone else?
- Are there any heroes or role-models that you can think of that were ultimately selfish?
- What are some examples of when you metaphorically went back to Thessalonica?
Leader note: the examples may be about a relationship, an acquaintance or co-worker, a marriage, an integrity issue at work, faith, patience, something physical,a discipline, etc. The idea here is a time or a recurring habit of leaving the more beautiful, more kingdom-based decisions and attitudes and behaviors and going to another, more base choice.
- What happened as a result (short term and long term)?
- Looking back, how much was a failure to know the difference between hard and impossible in play?
- When similar circumstances circle back to you in the future, how will you handle it differently?
Apply
- The two words of challenge at the end of the message sunday were about talking to the right people when you are tempted to "go back to Thessalonica", and to simply "not give up". How can this group play a further, more meaningful role along these lines?
- What kind of difficulties have you had about speaking of the challenges you face in your life, with this group?
- Are there any other members of this group that you feel like haven't really talked about there own challenges very much?
Leader note: Don't let any particular member get attacked in this question. Some people might say "Yeah, Bob never talks about his real stuff" but what is really going on is that some people are threatened by a quiet, reserved personality. It sometimes has very little to do with someone "going there" but an anxiety that comes with not hearing from someone else's heart in an amount that assures me that I know you like I am allowing you to know me. Bob may be sharing deeply by his own standards, and the first member is just nervous around such quiet confidence. Others may not feel the freedom to "go there" simply because they have never been asked to, or haven't been in your group long enough to get the sense that a risk like that would be safe. This discussion may be a first-time catalyst, so be mindful of that as the group proceeds.
- In closing, what are the circumstances, people, ideas, etc that this group can encourage you about? It may be a small, ongoing type of scenario, or it may be big decisions on the horizon that make you want to run and just take the easy road. Share with the group how they can come along side you and help you stay away from Thessalonica!
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