Sunday, September 26, 2010

Finding Beautiful, Part 4

Remember your biggest regret, or your biggest hurt, and you may find it has to do with words.
painful words spoken to you once, or for year.
Beautiful words that you longed to hear and never did.
A foolish choice that began with not having the guts to say "not me".
A wonderful opportunity passed because a few moments fear sealed your mouth, and you'll never have that chance again.

Words have the power of life.
And words have the power of death.
Use this time as a group to get serious about this big, seemingly out of control hole in our face, and the heart it's connected to. As a leader, this will be as much for you as for the members, as you may see an opportunity to, with grace and truth, step into a moment with one of the members and say what needs said. Or, you may need to restrain a talker for the first time so someone else can finally get precious words in. It can be one of the best discussions you have ever had!

Thaw
  • What's one thing you have learned in this series about finding beauty that makes a difference in your life?
  • What other thoughts not covered in a sermon has the series created for you?
  • What was the most significant thing from the message this Sunday?
  • How does it resonate with other, similar messages that God has brought to you about the power of our words?
  • If you found out from trusted friends that your words were doing things you did not intend, would you see it as an attack, or as an opportunity to grow?

Read
  • Genesis 1:3-4
  • Thoughts?
  • To this day, humans, made in the image of this Creative God, speak. And the words can be light, or more darkness. Creative beauty, or destruction. Neutral words reinforce that words mean nothing, which makes them accumulate into more destruction. With this in mind, share a time when words spoken to you were life and a time when words spoke death.

Leader note:
"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." (Proverbs 18:21, The Message)

Read

  • Take the following proverbs and assign them to a member of the group. Some members may have multiple. Read the proverb out loud and discuss what this meant to the original hearers, and what, if anything else, it means today.
  • Prov. 10:14
  • Prov. 10:11
  • Prov. 16:24
  • Prov. 27:2
  • Prov. 12:18
  • Prov. 17:27
  • Prov. 15:2
  • Prov. 18:7
  • Prov. 21:23
Leader note: You may note by now in the group that one or more people want to focus on words that have been said to them. Be delicate with these real wounds, but remind the group that you cannot control the words of others, and you cannot change what's already been done. The wisest path is to become the kind of person that learns from past mistakes, and doesn't feed into the mistakes of others. If the level of wounding seems significant, offer to chat more after group to see if in a smaller setting more help can be provided. If it seems significant enough to tackle it in the context of the group (as in it's insensitive to dismiss his or her issue in light of "keeping the meeting's agenda") then dive all the way in. But remain mindful that "finding beautiful" may be about words of forgiveness. In that case, once again, we're back talking about our own words as the only thing we can actually control. Forgiveness can be the only possible light in a lifetime of darkness.

Reflection (8-10 minutes)
  • Read James 3:2-12 to yourself, and allow God to bring up specific circumstances that He wants you to address, as well as specific habits that you have, depending on your environment, for speaking more death and darkness than life and light.

Apply
  • What are some things that can be done in the context of this group, where our words are concerned?
  • What are some things that are too risky to say about ourselves, or about others in the group, that might need said right now?
Leader note: Let that one hang in the air uncomfortably long before moving on!
  • What are beautiful words than need spoken outside of this group this week and how can this group help?
  • What are words that need said and fear has kept you silenced, and how can this group help?

Closing quote!
"Speak only when your words are more beautiful than darkness."

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