Transformed thinking. Transformed living.

This Sunday, Jonathan will walk us through a deeply significant principle that helps us better understand what it means to change. So many of us have the transformation that's being offered to us out of order and based on views Jesus did not have in mind. The results are frustratingly out of character for someone pursuing Christ, yet many of us have no idea what it is that continues to go wrong.

Thaw

• What was the most life-changing period of your life? Why?
  
• What's an example of something you thought or believed being changed very suddenly?

Read

• Romans 12:1-2
  
• Thoughts?

• Why would Paul guide his readers to be changed internally first, rather than the obvious behavioral changes that were needed?

• Why would he call this a spiritual act, or a reasonable exercise in worshiping God?

• How is this different than getting all your beliefs worked out intellectually before you act on them?

Leader note: We discuss often as a community that Jesus calls us into the journey before we get everything mentally handled. We are invited to bring our doubts, wonder and unanswered questions with us, along the way. But what Paul is talking about is actually being changed inside, paradigmatically. This may not equal answered questions and feeling of assurance. But it does equal the mental discipline of forcing yourself to see your world in accordance with who jesus is, rather than by who you used to be. This is certainly not easy at first. You have to train yourself to think this way, evaluating the old, habitual thought patterns as they arise. It is in this difficulty that we honor God. In that it's hard, it's a sacrifice. That's worship.

Read 

• Matthew 12:33-34
  
• Thoughts?
  
• What does this passage say about the importance of what we allow into our minds?
• Jesus said that if we hate or lust, we are then guilty of murder and adultery. Do you see a connection between this teaching and his words about fruit revealing the tree? What is that connection?

Discuss

• Jonathan discussed the principle of paradigms, strategies, actions and results in the message. With the paradigm that others owe you in place, what will your strategy be for dealing with people?
  
• With that strategy prepared, what actions and results will you see in your relationships?
  
• How would you define friends and enemies when you start with the "others owe me" paradigm?
  

Read

• Romans 15:7
  
• How does this shift in paradigm play itself out in strategy, actions and results?
  
• Why or why isn't this realistic in some of your more challenging relational circumstances?
  

Discuss

• What is an example of a person, or even a group of people, that you do not relate well to?
  
• Spend a minute or so and see if you can uncover what your paradigm is with this person or persons. Are you starting with them as having failed you somehow? They've disappointed you? They've caused harm? What does it mean  to change your paradigm from what they owe you (or even owe someone you love) to acceptance, forgiveness, grace and love?
  

Read

• Luke 17:12-19
  
• Thoughts?
  
• Respond as a group to this quote: "Unexpressed gratitude communicates ingratitude".

• Would you be considered a grateful person by feeling grateful alone?
  
• If this were your paradigm, describe the likely strategy, actions and results.

Leader note: It may look something like Paradigm: I think I am grateful because I feel that way. Strategy: I assume people know how I feel. Action: I don’t take the time to express it. Results: End up alienating people, communicating rejection.

Apply

• Are there other paradigms that the members of this group need to air because they feel like they are unhealthy or unrealistic, and are consistently producing bad results?
• How can this group help the individual paradigms that need renewing?
  
• Each member write down a single phrase that represents a paradigm that needs shifting. As you live out this next week, especially as you interact with family members for the holidays, see if God brings it to mind to help you allow Him internal access so that your behaviors and words (results) are better aligned with Christ.

Leader note: You may want to help by giving an example. Someone may need to write for their broken paradigm "Judgmental people deserve no patience". If they carry this into a family situation where they have judgmental family members, they are set up for Christ-unlikeness. In this case, that phrase needs to be front of mind so that when they interact with the judgmental person, they can allow God to transform them in patience, seeking to understand where their view cam from. Now they can live in the Spirit of Christ, watching peace and love and gentleness work better as a strategy than the impatience (and the ensuing holiday awkwardness) that's showed up every other year!