This week, you may find that the thrust of the discussion is deeply therapeutic, while dealing specifically with faith. Or with a current relationship. Or with a past one. Pay close attention, and try and allow plenty of time in each category, rather than flitting like a bird from one idea to the next. If you can focus, growth in this area will be better made- so, you may be listening to someone talk about guilt in their childhood, and someone interjects about "Catholic guilt." Hear out the second person, but then, say something like, "I think that's a valid direction to go, but I wonder if we should spend a few more minutes discussing how guilt and condemnation and a sense of "owing" shaped us as kids, and affects how we interact now.....Bob, what else can you tell us about your upbringing and guilt".
Thaw
- What's the worst job you have ever held. Why was it bad?
- How have you seen your mind and/or a relationship change since the beginning of this series?
- What is a recurring theme that you seem to be hung up on?
Read
- Numbers 5:5-8
- Thoughts?
- When you have fallen short of a standard in your behavior (sinning against someone, somehow), it creates an internal and inter-relational deficit. Something internally tells you that you must pay something to make the deficit go away. How does God answer this?
Leader note: The idea is simply to attach what is written in the two passages above with the psychology of guilt. Knowing that we will need to do something, and pay something to ease our minds, God gives a system of confession and 20% over payment. This way we can be sure it's finished afterward. Also note that the passage discusses next of kin. In the event that the sin happened along time ago, and the person isn't even around anymore, you can pay restitution to the family, or even to the priest if they are gone too. Note that the idea of an intermediary isn't applicable first. First, it's the person wronged- then the family- then an intermediary. In the Catholic tradition, many people have come to think that confession is something done through a priest and then it's over, leaving the "sinned against" un-dealt with. You may want to reference 1 Timothy 2:5 for those hung up on our call to confess directly to those whom we have sinned against, and to God, without a human traffic cop to make it all official.
- Why is sinning against someone connected to be "unfaithful to the Lord" in verse 6?
Read
- James 5:15-16
- Thoughts?
- Similar to the Numbers 5 passage, confession to others, God's pardon and our overall health are connected. How is this different that your view, previously, on guilt and confession?
Read
- Romans 2:4
Discuss
- How is this picture different or similar with your view of God and how he transforms people and their behavior?
- How is this mentally the same or different with how your parents raised you and got you to do and think the right way?
Leader note: Here, you may find that people need a little prodding to see how guilt has followed them around for years like a stray cat they once accidentally fed. Ask follow up questions and look for nods that communicate others in the group can relate and may be waiting for you to invite them to add their experience as well. Be aware that guilt, fear and anger are ll cousins, and getting a chance to talk about how we carry this junk around, and how it clouds our view of each other and God, is very helpful. As John said, perfect love drives out fear. Paul added in Romans 8 that in Christ, there is now NO condemnation!!!
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt. George Sewell
- How is this mentality different or similar to how you interact with people in your life?
- How would your relationships be different if you began using less of an "I owe you/you owe me" framework, and more of a model of kindness and patience?
- How is this striking you as immediately unrealistic?
- Why do we avoid risking being "in debt" with other people?
- Why do we sometimes work to get others in our debt?
- How does this power struggle affect our ability to surrender to each other, and being loving?
Leader note: It may be worth camping out in the idea that you can't, at the same time, being working to maintain some kind of relations power and control over someone, while also loving them. For the most part, control over others and love of them is an either or choice!
Apply
- What do you sense this group is supposed to do with this discussion and the information we have shared?
- What are the implications of living without guilt and condemnation between us, others and God?
- How do we begin breaking the power of guilt in our lives so that we can have a healthy understanding of how God transforms us, as well as when actual, good guilt is necessary?
Leader note: Remember, some guilt is good, as it serves as a catalyst for right action and thought. It's living in guilt that kills us.
- As a group, go into the rest of your week (life?) being mindful of all the ways guilt and manipulation and fear and anger are trying to control how you interact with others, and how you see God as you think and pray. Acknowledge it as it creeps in, and replace it with an others-centered, peace-having, Father-trusting love.
