Stuff Jesus Made Up, week 2

One topic that gets misunderstood and neglected enough to be harmful is forgiveness.

In this discussion, you will likely have to lead with more humble strength than normal, as latent un-forgiveness has devastating affects between friends, family and the involved persons and their forgiving God. It must be dealt with head on, just as Jesus dealt with it on numerous occasions.

At the same time, the "what ifs" and special circumstances may bring the feeling that forgiveness isn't possible or reasonable in all cases. As such, go into your time mindful of the all-encompassing love and forgiveness of God, and that our own sense of pride and strong desire to defend ourselves against any form or measure of discomfort is often what holds us back. You may, as a leader, find yourself leading your group to go places you haven't fully gone yet, so may your leadership be rooted in an increased trust that Jesus, the Son of God, claims victory through the power of Cross-style love, and not the retribution we deserve. He redeems all with love.

You may find it is appropriate to deal with the content here for two weeks, rather than just one. Discern well, and lead accordingly.

Thaw

• Have you ever been forgiven of an offense, when you could have had the book thrown at you? Do tell!
• What are your thoughts from the message on Sunday?
• Are there any areas of change, or specific people, that God has brought to mind that He seems to want to give attention?
• Have you found yourself making exemptions, or classifying certain situations as not applicable to Jesus' words of forgiveness?

Read

• Matthew 18:21-35
• Thoughts?
• In what ways does the parable teach what God is like, and in what ways does it prove to be an illustration or allegory?

Leader note: Help the group understand that the metaphor isn't supposed to be broken down or pushed too far to comprehensively understand the reality it illustrates. But we can draw some meaningful conclusions: Jesus' parable shows us that their is an accounting for our lives to be expected some day. It teaches that their is one King, and everyone else can be seen, seemingly, as equal "fellow-servants". The King calls the servant a "wicked servant" based on his lack of forgiveness, not based on the debt he had incurred. Additionally, we see that the King in the parable doesn't know what''s going on until the fellow servants tell him, which is unlike our omniscient God. The King is also shown as having pity, but not Father-like, "remains present with the servant" brand of love. The King hands the servant over to jailers for torture until the servant pays, which is unreasonable because imprisoned, tortured servants have even less means for payment than before they were imprisoned. It may be EXTREMELY helpful to stay rooted in jesus initial words about forgiveness being offered 7x70 times in the beginning of this part of his discourse. Even the jailed servant can be thought to have an awakening to love and grace while experiencing his "prison" and, in acknowledgement of his error, be offered the King's debt-canceling forgiveness again.

Read

• Matthew 5:43-44
• Matthew 6:14-15
• Romans 12:21
• Thoughts?
• Why do these passages, and many like them, seem to register in our hearts as, at the same beautiful and inspiring, while also unrealistic?
• What do we learn from God from the passages that stands against what we have come to believe about Him?

• Psalm 32:1-2
• What do covering and forgiving have to do with each other?
• What do forgiveness and having no deceit have to do with each other?

Leader note: Totally acknowledging sin seems key here, as it does everywhere. Holding back what we should admit we owe is a way of trying to "cover" our own sin. This is one main reason confession is such a healthy, redemptive labor.

Discuss

• The following are some clarifications about forgiveness. Discuss them and share from your own examples of how they ring true, or create theological/philosophical problems for you.

Forgiveness:

Is Condemnation

Is Final

Is Not "Forgetting"

Is From Your Heart

Is Not a Feeling, But a Choice.

Leader note: It's condemnation in that it implies the guilt of the other. It's final in that you can't cancel debt and secretly be hoping the other party still have to "pay", it's not forgetting in that you should remember so you can tell the story of grace to others, it's from your heart in that it's not forgiven if you can't hope good things for the forgiven, and it's not a feeling but a choice, because you may not feel "forgiving" type feelings. But, remember, God doesn't command feelings. He commands actions.

Apply

• How does one step into forgiveness if they haven't before?
• What holds us back?
• Is the thing that holds us back form God? If not, where is it from and what is to be done about it?
• How do you pursue true forgiveness while also allowing good and corrective (not retaliatory) consequences to follow? Can the group come up with a Jesus-centered rule for this?
• How can this group help one or more of it's members freely give the forgiveness he or she has freely received?

Prayer

Leader note: The following is how the Lord's prayer reads in Matthew 6. You may want to point it out and then spend some time prayerful in the same spirit he teaches:

"This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.