I want to make sure we are realistic in what we are going after with the groups we lead. If you start out with an unrealistic goal, then you will probably find yourself leading what you consider a bad group. And this is especially true in the area of the kinds of friendships that will form within your group.
Jesus had friends. He had 72 that he sent out and associated with, but they weren't so close that we ever get to know their names. He had 12 that he spent tons of time with, though their interests and goals turned out to be, in the very least, varied (a tax collector and a zealot at the same table? Wow. They probably never went for hot wings together unless the other 10 went...) But then there were 3 that Jesus seemed to really have at the center of His life. Peter, James and John. These three spoke with Jesus about the deepest things. These three witnesses Jesus do and say things the others didn't. These three saw Jesus cry in the garden.
Perhaps it would be good for us as group leaders to expect no more than this kind of friendship making from ourselves. Perhaps our group members will love to be around each other, be vulnerable in increasing measure in the context of group discussion, and know each other like no one else. But, maybe the group should be seen as an environment where the members can do all that, but then further connect with a few of the others and be known in the deepest ways possible. Not to ignore others in the group, but to embrace the reality that even Jesus wasn't an open book with a group like He was with just a few others.
Rather than seeing our groups of a dozen or so as the relational end, maybe we should see them as one of the last steps that help people go deep, and then deeper still, with a few great friends.
How would this affect group discussion? Prayer? Serving? The environments we lead our people in?
What are your thoughts?
Steve
having led a group of 24 women...I definately have seen the 'groups' inside the group. A large group is nice for those that want to 'hide' for a bit, but if you want to go deeper, you need to be around just a few...I know I don't want everyone in the group to know all my 'stuff'!
ReplyDeleteps...loved Sunday's service!
Personal friendships don't really seem to gel until people take it to a level beyond the corporate safety and support of a life group's weekly meeting. Until you've picked up the phone individually, taken a personal risk, broken bread and leaned on someone, you're probably still just fostering acquaintances.
ReplyDeleteThe beauty of the life group is that it sets the stage for taking these next steps comfortably.