The Issue of Truth
A second factor influencing this push/pull dynamic of intimacy is the difficulty we human beings have in facing the truth about ourselves. How often we wear masks and try to cover our tracks. How easily we deceive ourselves and others and try to justify inappropriate behavior. When we are afraid to face our true selves, and when we deceive others, we tend to flee relationships—with God, with ourselves, and also with others.
This urge to go it alone is not the only result of our deceptions; they can also prevent us from developing trust even if confidentiality is assured and practiced. If we conceal rather than risk disclosing our true selves, and if we deceive rather than trust others, we prevent the two necessary conditions for experiencing intimacy in our relationships: risk and trust.
What gives us the freedom to face the truth about ourselves? The Christian gospel affirms that it is okay not to be okay. Jesus came preaching a message of repentance and forgiveness of sin. Repent and believe in the gospel, Jesus taught. God's unconditional acceptance of us is what can give us the freedom to face the truth about ourselves—to be our true selves, warts and all. Rather than flee from others, then, we become free to reveal our shortcomings, to acknowledge our need for others' acceptance and support and care, and to change our ways. Rather than deceiving others, we can risk opening ourselves so that trust and intimacy can develop in our interpersonal relationships.
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