DECISIONS, Final Cut

The choices you made many years ago are part of where you are sitting right now. Decisions you made relationally, the quick, impulsive choices you made financially, wise, love-filled decisions you made about family or friends; decisions you made about health, geography, education, revenge, vanity, integrity, loyalty...good or bad, had you chosen something else it would be affecting this moment.

While there's no way to see ahead, there are some realities to be shaped by living out in each moment the kind of story that we want to live. There's no way to control other people's behaviors, or a trillion other potentialities that exist in traffic today, the mood of those we trust, employment rates or extinction-level meteors hurtling toward earth in the not-so-distant future. What we can control is the kind of story I am living today and how it best sets "me"/"us" up for the kind of narrative we can be proud of. The kind of story that aligns with God.

Use this group time this week to encourage and challenge each member, and the group as a whole, to recognize the sacredness of our collective story, how all the parts overlap, and that we have choices to make right now that shape reality for years to come.

"What we do in life echos in eternity" Maximus, Gladiator.

Thaw

• What is something that has stuck with you in this series?
• What is something in this decisions series, no matter how seemingly small or huge in significance, that you would like to take further?
• What most grabbed you from the last message?

Read

• 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
• Thoughts?

Leader note: This text is the often misquoted "God never gives you more than you can handle" passage. Though divergent from the theme of this particular discussion, it might be wise to bear in mind that this text says no such thing. The passage actually speaks of us always having a way out of a particular temptation. We never "must"sin is the point. But it typically gets used to say that our pain isn't anything to get down about...He never, after all, gives us too much to handle. Right? To turn this passage into a phrase that means "God never gives us more difficult circumstances than we can handle by ourselves" essentially makes it so that God protects us from circumstances that would require us asking each other for help. That, of course, contradicts the entire Bible. We, in fact, can't handle much, and need each other. This is why love is the sum of all scripture....we must help each other handle what we can't alone.

• What is a time that you could have chosen a way of out of temptation, but didn't?
• What was a time that you were tempted and couldn't see a way out? Do you see the way out now?

Leader note: Be careful not to let the atmosphere become condemning if someone dares to answer this in a way that reveals some dark stuff. Also keep in mind that the moments leading up to a temptation are how we get out of that temptation before it ever occurs. If a man can't think of how they could have gotten out of having a stripper suddenly performing a lap dance, it's within reason to go back an hour and ask how he might have chosen a different road than the one that leads to the strip club.

• What significance can be found in the fact the the Greek word translated temptation ("peirasmos") can also be translated "tested"?

Leader note: You may consider the end of the Lord's prayer for further conversation on this.

Read

• James 1:2-4
• Thoughts?

Leader note: Same word in 1:2.... peirasmos.

• James sees temptation and testing as a tool. A proving grounds where our metal is forged. What are some examples of this that you have experienced in your own life?

Discuss

• What kinds of temptations are the hardest to resist in our culture, and why? What is at the root of the most potent temptations?
• How does our culture celebrate giving into temptation?

Leader note: Spend just a moment on how temptation has become cute or something to just accept as part of life. Desserts are labeled "decadent" or "sinful". Lingerie is advertised by seductive women with angel wings. Cutting corners at work is presented as "tenacious" as long as it proves profitable. Slanderous gossip is followed up with the phrase "just saying...".

• How does this group's participation in each other's lives serve the idea that our stories matter?

Apply

• How do you determine and even state, ahead of time, what kind of story you want to live?
• How do you make these intentions known so that others can walk with you in encouragement, accountability and reminding?
• How can this group become a place to lay more and more of the trajectory of your story, as it plays out in the moment-to-moment?
• How can others in this group help you define a story that you want to live?

Leader note: This is an invitation for the members of your group, if they have never done so, to lay out some goals. The kind of story we want to live has to be named. It's easy to look back and say " I don't want to become my mom" or "I don't want to mess that up again". It's far more to say "this is the person I feel like I was made to be, so this is where I am heading, and this is how I make decisions about the present so that I stay on this story's path". Vocational, marital, health, intergenerational, sexual, integrity, etc. See if you can help your group take a swing at the kind of story they want to live so that the group, and even the individuals themselves, have something to be accountable to in the weeks, months and years to come. You may want to capture some of this on postcards and use them as book marks, put them in electronic form and highlight them in various ways over 2011. Be creative. Help the story get written and then lived.

DECISIONS, Third Cut

Over and over the New Testament captures Jesus' summary of the Law and the Prophets: Love God, love people. The insistent theme is that without the second part, loving people, the first is just a religious lie. We must love people, and what good is it if we only love the lovable? Even IRS agents do that.

This week, as a group, you will hopefully be taking some steps into the mystical realm of harmony. But, rather than some flaky sense of "getting along with others", this is the summation of what God wants for humanity. That we would evaluate and make decisions about each other a new way, which is actually the old way. In so doing, we will more and more find out things about ourselves. Deep things. We will also lean about God and just how powerful love actually is.

To the extent that this doesn't seem deep, or that somehow this is just a rehashing of some feel-good message but lacks substance, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate what we consider what depth means. Regardless of our understanding of original languages, the theological camps we join or our views on hot button issues that define our worldview, our ability to embrace the oneness of humanity and the power of simply loving others the way we wish to be loved is all that matters.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love". (Paul, I Corinthians 13:11-13, Galatians 5:6b)

Thaw

• What is something you believe has always been misunderstood about you?
• How has this affected your relationships (to others, elf and God)?

• What has most hung with you from Sunday morning?
• What do you feel like you are supposed to do with whatever it is that has been in your mind since Sunday morning?

Read

Leader note: You may want to add more texts to this list, choosing them based on a recurrent theme of others-centeredness and having each member read one aloud.

• Deuteronomy 10:19
• Proverbs 18:13
• James 1:19
• Thoughts?
• What do passages like this have to do with the love of Christ?
• What do they have to do with the inherent unity of people?

Discuss

• What are ways our day-to-day lives reinforces division and separateness from each other?

Leader note: It's important not to vilify as much as recognize reality. Fashion is an example. We are taught to both conform to a visual standard, and yet stand out as unique. There's a paradox to both all look alike, and yet be notable. We are not made to live and experience this strange duality. Rather than it being evil, our individual expressions of style and art, like unique pixels in an overall screen, has been turned into a way of rating and categorizing each other. This is not shalom, harmony or love, and it's one more way we cost ourselves the ability to know each other, to know ourselves, and to experience love like Love intends.

• What are the counterfeits of unity?
• What is something you have learned about yourself by loving someone that wasn't "easy" to love?
• Why are we threatened by allowing the Spirit to flow between us and seemingly dissimilar people?
• How much of our hesitation about loving people is based on fear of our own welfare? Explain.

• What is the difference between "building a tower" and "building a bridge"?

Leader note: The reference comes from Genesis 11 and the tower of babel being built. Towers are for protection and defense. It's about human conquest, rather than true shalom. Acts 2, at Pentecost, we have a reversal of the confused languages, and the Spirit-filled disciples can now go to others and speak THEIR languages. The Spirit of Immanuel, the GHod who comes to us, is now reuniting divided people.

Read

• Ephesian 4:1-3
• Thoughts?

Apply

• What obstacles do the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace have in your life? What can be done about those obstacles?
• What obstacles to unity are playing themselves out within the context of this LifeGroup? What can be done about this?

Leader note: Depending on where the conversation is going, you may enjoy sharing thoughts from Tertullian, AD 210:

It is mainly the deeds of a love so noble that lead many to label us. "See," they say, "How they love one another!" For themselves are animated by mutual hatred. "How they are ready even to die for one another!" For they themselves will sooner put to death.
They are angry with us, too, because we call each other brethren. There is no other reason for this, I think, than because among them names of consanguinity are given in mere pretence of affection. ...
How much more fittingly they are called and counted brothers who have been led to the knowledge of God as their common Father? Who have drunk in one Spirit of holiness? Who from the same womb of a common ignorance have agonized into the same light of truth?
But perhaps the very reason we are regarded as having less right to be considered true brothers is that no tragedy causes dissension in our brotherhood. Or maybe it is that the family possessions, which generally destroy brotherhood among you, create fraternal bonds among us. One in mind and soul, we do not hesitate to share our earthly goods with one another. All things are common among us but our wives. (Apology, ch. 39)

Meditation

• Read quietly to selves Galatians 5:13-26

New Leaders Needed

DECISIONS, Second Cut

Use this week to further last weeks' discussion on the first and second voices that seek to guide our decisions, and the awareness that our sick/deficient/immature/deceitful hearts need renewal before we put any weight on them for deciding things.

As a group, you may also find that inviting all (or even some) of the members of your group to ask for others to speak into their lives. To provide communal wisdom on specific issues or even generally.

Below, find the general discussion makers and texts from the message. As you move through these questions, be mindful that what we all really want, even if we have never clearly stated it to ourselves, is to be wise. This runs contrary to the loud voice of impulse, fear, our desire (demand, sometimes...) to be respected, accepted, loved.. You may see and hear hints of this reality playing in the background, if you search for it. Don't allow your discussion to be "about" wisdom. Make it one that moves toward it.

Texts

• Jeremiah 17:9
• Proverbs 28:26

Discussion Questions

• What were the key points for you?
• What was the "one thing" you took away?
• What surprised you?
• What bothered you? Why?
• Have you ever heard or come across a similar teaching or idea? Have you ever been taught something that was contradictory?
• What is/was already part of your thinking on this subject?
• What did you learn that was new to you?
• *About God?
• *About yourself?
• *About others?
• What changes of thought are necessary in light of what you learned?
• What changes of action are needed?
• How would life be different if you/we applied this teaching fully?
• What are the hindrances, and what do we do about those?
• What role can this group play to help you take steps this week and beyond?

DECISIONS, First Cut

By the time you read this, the number of decisions you will have made about everything from how much longer to cook your PopTart, to whether to roll through a stop sign, to how much you're going to say about a person not in the room to whether to leave your Christmas tree up one more day numbers in the thousands. No wonder you're tired.

Use this study time to help your group members understand that that living in an interactive relationship with the Spirit of God has everything to do with submitting to Him not just our decisions, but the way we come to our decisions. To tune ourselves in the the "first voice" of our loving Father and to learn how to use and hear the "second voice" differently. What may seem like a daunting mental task at first can actually be kind of fun, when done in the context of a group that wants to take seriously Paul's challenge to be transformed by the renewing of our thinking (Romans 12:2)!

Thaw

Have fun with this decision tree.

• What's one small and one big decision you are facing right now?
• What most stuck with you from the message Sunday?
• What difficulties do you think the message presents?
• How do you suspect it will help you grow?

Read

• John 10:-1-6
• Thoughts?
• What does it mean to hear the voice of Christ?
• What limits or skepticism do we bring to this passage?

Discuss

• In the context of a group of people dedicated to pursuing Christ and each other, there are a few ways to determine if, through prayer, the voice of God is speaking into a decision.

• Read each of the three points, and discuss:

1. God's voice carries the weight of authority. God will never argue or try to convince. He will simply speak.
2. God's voice is consistent with the Spirit of Jesus. Jesus, being God in flesh, never guilts people into things, manipulates, hurries with anxiety or coerces with threats of painful punishment. He invites, with peace, us into the best life imaginable.
3. God's voice will not contradict scripture. The impulse to take action, no matter how seemingly justified, that's in direct opposition to the whole of scripture (not just one or two choice passages) is not from God.

Leader note: Make sure and provide a distinction, if necessary, between the "the scriptures" and "our interpretation" thereof. Many times God is asking us to do something that goes against what we always thought was in the Bible. This is a slippery slope for some- so put on your cleats and make sure the group understands that the Bible being contradicted is far different than our interpretation of it being contradicted. The latter happens everyday! Thus, the DIRE need for decisions to be made in the counsel of trusted friends and within a spiritual community.

Read

• Proverb 3:5-6
• Thoughts?

Leader note: You may want to challenge the group to commit this one to memory!

• What does this passage have to do with tuning into the "first voice"?

Apply

• The decisions that you mentioned earlier: what does the second voice of fear and survival have to say about them?
• Using the decision you are facing, what is the difference between the second voice of self-preservation and the first voice of God's Spirit?

Leader note: Very important: The second, internal, noisy voice of self-preservation sometimes makes us want to not risk anything so as to protect ourselves and our interests, OR risk everything so as to really excel beyond the competition. This voice is about me- me doing too little, or me doing too much. Either way, the point is me. But, the first voice of God may also be about excelling or restraint- but it's based on an eternal Kingdom perspective. Rather than just my own well-managed fears, it includes other people's welfare, my best future, the effect the decision will have on the community, the office, the church. The two voices are in opposition not because one is about deciding to do things and the other is about deciding to not. The two voices are about my own fears being the master, or God being the master. Be sure and help your members understand that it's more than right or wrong (we'll discuss wisdom next week). It's more robust a thought than "the second voice wants to date her, but the first voice says no". It would sound more like "the second voice wants to date her because I don't want to be alone any more and though I don't think she shares my desire for a kingdom life, she's pretty and paying attention to me. Yet, the first voice of God may be saying that my singleness is important right now even though I fear it. My singleness may be key for me and the Kingdom, and I wouldn't ultimately want to use this girl to feel better about myself. I wonder what my friends and time spent listening will show me...". You can see the difference, and apply this thinking to money, the way we speak and respond, how we lean into loving family, forgiving, what we eat, when we rest, etc, etc.

• How can this group be helpful with your current decisions?
• How can the group be helpful outside of group time?
• Are there one or two decisions shared by an individual/couple that can be put up as "listening projects" for the entire group to help with?

Close

• Close quietly in prayer, having the group's shared decisions in mind.

Important Update AND Discussion guide

Hey Leaders,

Happy New Year!

Before we get to the discussion guide (which is sorely late, apologies to you all...especially those who have already had their group. Remember, you can always use the generic guide to generate good discussion. It's on the main page, on the righthand side column) i wanted to let you know where messages will be heading up through Easter. This way, you can make an informed decision about where to go on the discussion end of group time.

Starting this Sunday, we will begin an interesting series called Decisions. DE (off) CISIONS (cuts) are the choices we make by cutting off what isn't useful or beneficial. We will be talking about the underlying premise behind all Jonathan and Steve's messages- a "bottom line" if you will- that also informs how we make decisions in our day-to-day lives. We will talk about wisdom and how it's superior to good/bad decisions, yet foreign to the collective mind of our society. Then we will talk about how we make up our minds about people and what it takes to re-see them in light of grace and mercy...tough stuff. We will finish the series by talking about the kind of story you want to live, and how you cut off parts that don't carry your/God's preferred story forward. Should be a great series.

Following this, we will spend five weeks in the book of James. We're kicking around calling the series "Brother Jim". The reason for this actually pretty interesting.

Each week, we will pull a main theme from each chapter and try and draw from it the heavy brilliance James intended for some of the earliest Christians, and us. Along side the messages and the discussions for groups, everyone will be invited to utilize a daily devotional/meditation/reflection/study guide. These guides will hopefully catalyze your group members to take some steps in their faith, outside of Sunday and group time.

THEN! We will begin a series that takes us all the way to Easter. It's called The Seven #1 Reasons. Each week we will deal with a Biblical statement, or pairing thereof, made about "the reason he came". Fulfilling torah, preach the gospel of the Kingdom, give abundant life, destroy the works of the devil, testify to the truth, be propitiation for sin, and then on Easter Sunday: to Save the World. Should be a fun, encouraging, challenging ride.

We hope that you and your group will really dive in, with all of your individual and collective hearts, and see what God has for us in the months to come. More will be shared on series beyond these, such as the one on family, the philosophy of "why?" and 10 weeks on the the Ten Commandments.

Now, for this week's discussion Guide.

Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, ALL your mind, ALL your soul and ALL your strength. This is nothing to feel guilty about. It's simply what we would want our God to want from us. Every other person we know settles for a convincing performance...but our loving Father wants our all.

Thaw

• What do you think was something God was trying to teach you over the holidays?
• What are some things you are already thinking about for next Christmas?

• What most stuck with you from this past Sunday's message?
• As you look out over 2011, where do you think you will find the most challenges in seeking the Lord with all of your heart?

Read

Jeremiah 29:13

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.

Deuteronomy 4:29
If from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Psalm 14:2
The LORD looks down from heaven... to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 27:8
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Psalm 105:4
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Psalm 119:2
Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.

Psalm 119:10
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

John 15:5

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

• Thoughts?
• Other than the obvious theme of God being sought, what thoughts come to mind?

Leader note: You may have people in your group that feel put off by the idea of God insisting to be sought. In a human sense, God seems "needy". Be sure and let this be aired, and perhaps consider bringing it up if you feel it's possibly felt but not spoken within your group. Once we understand that God, who is Love, does what is best for us- and has no psychological deficits for which to compensate- we begin to see that the invitations to focus ourselves, our worship- ALL of our hearts on Him- provide us a much needed source of Good and Wholeness to fixate on, away from our own brokenness. We must help people understand God is not a man seeking to be affirmed. He is Love, bent on making us what we're supposed to be; other's-centered replicas of Himself.

• What's the difference between seeking God with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13) and simply believing in God?
• Jesus says faith like a mustard seed, the smallest of seeds, is enough faith (Luke 17:5-6). Is Jesus contradicting Jeremiah 29:13 and other passages, or is there something else going on?

Leader note: The context of the Luke passage is the apostles asking Christ to increase their faith. Jesus isn't saying it takes less faith to be in alignment with the Kingdom. He is saying give all you have, and if all you have is is mustard-seed faith, compared to the peach-pit-sized faiths of the spiritual elite, you don't have less faith. The idea is all YOU have, not how it rates next to the faith of others.

Discuss

• In what areas do you need the most help, where giving all your heart is concerned?

Leader note: Finances? Sex life? Insecurities? Lying to get ahead or attention? Judgmental attitude? Forgiveness issues? Difficult marriage? Difficult children? Difficult parents?

• How can this group go beyond just listening (something the group is committed to continuing to do!) and actually be part of your growth in the areas you shared?
• What are you up against?

Leader note: This "obstacle identification" is very important. If a person is judgmental by default, what they are up against isn't merely the word "habit" or that it's "hard" to stop judging people. They are up against an old paradigm that the person learner ( or was taught) earlier in life. In this particular instance, the person has learned to categorize people, or to make distancing observations so as to preserve themselves or their interests. So the obstacle is a learned fear (if even presenting itself as disgust!) of people, and a reluctance to believe that people's differences are not a threat. As the specific issues are shared, dig through them a bit and see if you can see what is really going on under the surface of the expressed obstacle.

Closing reading

(Consider one reader, slowly reading it aloud for the group.)

• Colossians 3:1-17

Prayer.