"Pay Attention to Details"
Why the little things make a big difference in your group experience.
Joel Comiskey
Here are some areas to keep an eye on as you prepare for your LifeGroup meeting.
Home Atmosphere
We get accustomed to the smells in our homes, but visitors sense them immediately. Pets, things children spill in odd places, heavy perfumes, the evening dinner, and even room deodorizers can irritate noses. You know all about your home. You like its smell. But others might not be so enthusiastic. Think about their noses.
If you have young kids, be sure to dispose of the dirty diapers before the meeting starts or take the hamper of laundry to the washing room. God wants us to be one in Christ, but don't purposely test the oneness of your group members by allowing strange smells to flood the room. Also, make sure to clean the guest bathroom before the group begins. Is there toilet paper, soap, a towel?
Temperature
The temperature in the home increases as more people are packed into a room. Members can become agitated and uncomfortable for the lack of fresh, cool air. If your people must wear heavy coats in your house, although you're in the heat of summer, you probably need to adjust the temperature. The main thing is that you're sensitive to the needs of those in the room. One expert advised that 67 degrees is an ideal temperature for home groups. Common sense is probably a better temperature gauge.
Seating Arrangement
Arrange the seating so each person can see every other person in the group. A circle is the best choice. As the leader, place your chair so that it's on the same level as the rest of those in the group—neither at the focal point nor in the background.
If your house is spacious, it's best to move the chairs into a close circle, thus occupying only a portion of the room. Large rooms may be excellent for large groups, but they kill discussion in small groups. When people are spread far apart (as is the case in large houses), it's harder to openly share thoughts and feelings.
Lighting
The lighting should be bright enough for everyone to read but low enough to feel cozy. If it's too dark, people will have a harder time reading long. Too bright might ruin the sense of intimacy.
Refreshments
Refreshment time isn't something tacked on to small-group ministry. It's a vital part of it. The refreshment time is often the best moment to ask personal questions, enter deeper communion, or even reap the harvest.
Most of the time, we stand around the dining room table. This gives the most freedom for people to move around, talk freely, and visit individually. On rare occasions, we'll sit down as a group at the dining room table. Eating refreshments normally lasts about 15 minutes. Afterwards, people will drift out at their own pace. It's the leader who sets the tone. If the group leader is open to it, the people may stay for more than an hour. If the leader needs a cut off time, the people will know it. Personally, I think that one hour of talking and sharing is sufficient.
Sensitive group leaders take advantage of this time to make personal contacts, greet visitors, and reconfirm previous decisions. Be proactive during this time. Don't wait until people come to you. Go to them.
Children in the Group
The ages of the children make a world of difference in how to prepare for them. If children are six or under, they'll need more activities, such as singing, games, visual aids, or videos.
Distractions
Guard against distractions. Turn off telephone ringers and mute the volume on your answering machine. Put pets in another room or outside. Turn off TV sets, radios, and computers during a meeting. Yes, our lives are busy all the time, but during the one and a half hours of the group, you should focus on the cell 100 percent. Don't answer the phone.
What about when your own children—who are supposed to be sleeping—start crying during the group? Make sure you have a strategy for taking care of them. Which of the parents will leave in the middle of the group time when one of them starts crying?
Time to Start
A common frustration among small-group leaders is getting everything started on time. It's not unusual to wait five or ten minutes past the scheduled starting time while waiting for members to arrive. In such situations, the leader must make a decision. Will the group start on time or wait for the last few members to arrive? Two simple steps can help leaders conquer this age-old problem.
Agree on expectations. Ask the group what they think about starting on time. This is the ideal time for the group to establish clear expectations and the importance (or unimportance) of group members arriving on time. Most likely, the group members will agree that arriving on time is important. The most critical element is agreement among group members.
Begin on time. Perhaps it seems obvious that the leader should start the group on time when battling chronic lateness. However, as mentioned earlier, many leaders don't start on time because they're waiting for all the participants to arrive. Delaying the beginning of group time sends several mixed signals to group members: 1) "This meeting really doesn't start at 6:30; it starts at 6:45," 2) "It's okay if I arrive late; they won't start without me anyway," or 3) "The first 15 minutes of our meeting isn't important."
If a group leader begins on time regardless of latecomers, he or she is sending the signal that every part of the meeting is important. The leader is also making wise use of the limited time that's available for the meeting. Ultimately, if a small-group leader is in the habit of starting on time, people will arrive on time. Conversely, if a leader does not start on time, the members will arrive later and later.
